Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The You Testament

Developer: Mat Dickie
Publisher: MDickie
Release Date: Dec. 5, 2008
System: PC
ESRB Rating: N/A
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Take the Bible and replace all the words with computer models of people punching each other...

0:00 I can't remember who first sent me the link to this game, but the idea of being a witness to the times of Jesus is just sacrilegious enough to be intriguing to me.

0:01 "I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand," reads an opening quote, from Confucius. Odd that the game would start with an Eastern philosopher, but I can see how it would apply to a game like this. The music is straight out of the early-'90s SoundBlaster scene. Lots of loading right up front.

0:03 Looking over the controls now. There's an attack key? In a game about the gospel of Jesus? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that missing the point a bit? Oh, there's also a "meditate" key, so I guess that makes it all OK.

0:04 I start a new game with random characters. I am Emma, a 50-year-old civilian from Sharon with an Angry demeanor. She's wearing a green tunic and has tan skin, a small chest and a Mohawk ponytail that's quite fashion-forward for the world of 2,000 years ago.

0:05 This minute spent loading the game world extremely slowly.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

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