Ninety-Nine Nights II

Developers: Q Entertainment, Feelplus

Publisher: Konami
Release Date: June 29, 2010
System: Xbox 360
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Press X to until everything is dead or you're bored, whichever comes first.

0:00 Can't say I'm really eager to try this one, given the generally negative reviews, but Konami sent it to me earlier this summer so it deserves at least an hour's fair attempt.

0:01 The title screen calls the game "N3II," as does the retail box. Ugh.

0:02 The options screen lets me change between UI Types A, B and C, but doesn't tell me what the difference between them is. Also, I can't seem to navigate the screen with the analog stick --- I need to use the d-pad for no apparent reason. These are small things, but they don't bode well.

0:03 I start a new game. A purplish lady's hand drops a purple gem into a shimmering armored chest. A large clawed hand reaches for the female hand. Fade to white and up to smoky battlefield. A guy with long flowing white hair kneels with a dead white-haired girl in his arms and screams. An old-fashioned map is engulfed in fire. Flaming meteors shoot down through an overcast sky. Armored goblin hordes are frozen mid-rush as the camera zooms by dramatically. A knight starts cutting through their ranks like a knife through blood-spurting butter. His helmet gets knocked off, showing long, flowing white hair, as he takes out a dozen or so goblins with a single energy slash, then stands for a dramatic pose. Then he slams his swords into the ground and summons some orange energy blades that explode to clear the area around him. What the hell is going on?

***-->CONTINUE READING<--***

***-->AT GAMERONI<-***

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Ju-on The Grudge: Haunted House Simulator

Developer: feelplus

Publisher: Xseed

Release Date: Oct. 13, 2009

System: Wii

ESRB Rating: M

Official Web site

In a nutshell: Cheap thrills... emphasis on the cheap.

0:00 After playing Alan Wake a bit, I'm on a horror game kick. What better way to satisfy it than with this Haunted House Simulator that's been sitting on my pile for months. All I remember about the movie of the same name is that the trailer looked awful.

0:01 I'm playing this at 9 in the morning with the sun streaming in through the blinds. Hardly ideal for creating a scary atmosphere, but it is what it is.

0:02 Grainy, handheld video of an alley, a roof, a door to an old-fashioned house being opened. Slippers and trash on the floor. In the bathroom, a sink full of hair. A cloaked figure stands in the sunny kitchen. A mannequin presses against a frosted window. The door slams. Bloody napkins everywhere. A woman in a white shroud with black hair draped over her face. Jumpy close ups of her eye. Title screen. They're obviously going for a Blair Witch Project vibe, but I'm less scared than confused.

0:03 In addition to three selectable files, there's something called "courage test." How can I resist trying something like that?

0:04 The game asks for my gender and Zodiac sign. I'm a Leo. The only episode available is "Rundown Factory." Like, Zoinks, Scooby!

0:05 A golden retriever scampers along with the camera close in on his back, pointed towards the ground. Awkward panting as he comes upon a man with naked legs. "Oh that Ivy running off like that," says white text on a black background. "I wonder what she saw? This factory looks like it hasn't been used in forever..." Then a title card that simply reads, "Erika."

***-->CONTINUE READING AT<--***

***-->JOYSTICK DIVISION<-***

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