Kirby's Epic Yarn

Developers: HAL, Good-Feel

Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: Oct. 14, 2010
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: They somehow made Kirby even cuter? Madness!

0:00 I’ve been a Kirby fan since the original Game Boy Dream Land up through the excellent Kirby Super Star on the SNES. I’m intrigued by the super-cute, stringy art style I’ve seen in this one, but I’m not convinced it will spice up what is essentially pretty simple, kid-focused gameplay.

0:01 After a good 15 seconds creating a save file, the title screen appears with Yarn Kirby plopping down as a trapezoidal weight, then reforming into his normal pink puffy self. Very light piano music in the background. One Player.

0:02 “Welcome to Dream Land, a kingdom famous for peace and quiet. It’s the perfect little land, if you like that sort of thing.” An evil sorcerer is turning people in to yarn. Kirby runs in to him and sucks up the red tomato he’s holding before he can introduce himself. A white sock on the sorcerer's belt sucks Kirby up and transforms him into a hollow, yarn version of himself. Quote of the moment: “This grass feels funny... it feels like pants.”

0:03 Kirby saves a yarn boy being chased by a yarn monster by transforming into a yarn car and driving away. Man, I am really going to be tired of the word “yarn” by the end of this hour.

0:05 The yarn boy has run off, leaving me all alone to traipse around outside of Patch Castle. My feet turn in to springs when I jump, and tapping the jump button again in midair turns me in to a gently floating parachute. Tapping the 1 button sends out a starry yarn whip with a snap. The animation is absolutely wonderful. So full of life.

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Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies

Developers: Level-5, Square Enix

Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: July 11, 2010
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E10+

In a nutshell: Not all fallen angels are bad guys

0:00 I've never actually touched a Dragon Quest game, save for a brief, frustrating stint with the original Dragon Warrior on the NES. An hour probably won't be nearly enough to get a true feel for this epic game, but will it be enough to make me want to play more?

0:01 In an anime cut scene, a boy runs into a cavern, towards a fire-breathing dragon . A woman casts a spell. Slimes bounce on a rocky plain. Pan over a town where a boy plays with a dog. A party talks in a tavern. A woman dances. They clink glasses. A blue spirit rises up. A castle in the clouds. An eagle flies over a field. Zoom up to the starry sky and show the title! Yup, it's a Japanese RPG opening, all right. The animation reminds me of Dragon Ball Z, which is understandable, since it's by the same animator.

0:03 The character creator makes it remarkably easy to make a character that looks exactly like Super Saiyan Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z, which I do. My newly created character gets a halo and angel wings and he flies off. Then... loading? In a DS game?

0:04 "Hello? Is anybody there? If you're there, say something. Show yourself. Thus do the voices of mortals plead, ever hopeful of our existence. For how long have we watched over their realm?" Here we go with the heavy-handed religious allegory...

0:05 Pan over a idyllic little farm village, rendered in blocky, heavily-outlined 3D. Neighbors wave to each other, a horse whinnies, a man fishes in a gentle stream. Two angels watch. One of them is my Vegeta. The other, Aquila, one is impressed with how I've watched over the village, Angel Falls.

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Wii Party

Developer: Nintendo EAD

Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: Oct. 3, 2010
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Everything's better with Mii-pets?

0:00 I'm a bigger fan than most of the Mario Party series, and I've been led to understand this is the spiritual successor to that, with customizable Miis in place of Mario characters. So I'm pretty excited.

0:01 As usual when I play party games for lunch, I am playing today in the sub-optimal single-player mode. I feel like I've played enough of these party games to know which mini-games will be fun with a group, even if that group isn't here right now...

0:03 A bunch of highly animated Miis float by in translucent bubbles on the title screen. Also, an airliner, a die and a dog float by, for some reason. The music here will be familiar to anyone who's played Wii Sports, Wii Fit, etc.

0:04 The host looks like a cross between the host from Buzz, Kyle's brother Ike from South park, who's dressed like a more flamboyant Professor Layton and talks like Beaker from the Muppets. REFERENCES! Oh, he's “Party Phil!"

0:05 Party Phil introduces the three main game types: Party Games, Pair Games and House Party games, the last of which “use your living room as part of the fun." I smell a lawsuit over a broken coffee table...

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Sin & Punishment: Star Successor

Developer: Treasure

Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: June 27, 2010
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Bullet heaven.

0:00 I played this for literally five seconds or so at some E3 or another without really feeling it. I know the original Sin & Punishment is held up as some sort of paragon by hardcore shmup fans, so my expectations are kind of high.

0:01 I can hear the Wii disc drive going a bit nutso as the game loads on a black screen. Synth-heavy Japanese techno playing over the title screen reminds me a bit of Metroid Prime. The Wii Remote pointer I use to enter my file name is a lizard, for some reason.

0:02 I can use the Remote and Nunchuk, the Classic Controller, the Gamecube controller or the Wii Zapper. Personally I'd rather have one well-designed control option than three confusing ones...

0:05 After some options setting, I start a new single-player game on Normal difficulty. I go with female Kachi rather than male Isa, figuring I'll need her auto-lock ability to help me through what's supposed to be a very tough game.

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Professor Layton and the Unwound Future

Developer: Level 5

Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: Sept. 12, 2010
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E-10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Simple puzzles, even simpler protagonists.

0:00 I liked the first Professor Layton DS game for its mix of clever puzzles and cute British charm. I put down the second game midway through, though, as the prevalence of sliding puzzles began to grate on me.

0:01 The piano and violin music on the title screen is ominous and catchy at the same time.

0:02 "This is a work of fiction," says the disclaimer. What, people were confused by this? Fade to an animated video of a bustling London street. A double decker bus trundles by. Cut to the bus interior. "It just doesn't seem to add up professor," says toe-headed Luke. "I honestly thought you were pulling my leg," Top-hatted Professor Layton replies. "What? I wouldn't dream of it." Um, what's going on?

0:03 Cut to a shadowy figure that looks like Luke, writing a letter. "Professor, I hope this letter finds you well. As for me, I'm in quite a predicament." The letter writer is from ten years in the future, when London has been thrown into turmoil. He tells the recipient to go the the clock shop. It's from "Your student, Luke Triton." Whhhaaaaa?

0:04 Layton's voice sounds a little more gravelly and less British than previous games. Maybe it's just my imagination? Anyway, Luke and Layton joke about time travelling postmen and how even future-Luke is too stupid to do anything without Layton's help. The "strange letter" gets filed in "Unsolved Mysteries." I loved that show!

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***-->AT GAMERONI<-***

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Metroid Prime 3: Corruption

Developer: Nintendo

Publisher: Nintendo

Release Date: Aug. 27, 2007

System: Wii

ESRB Rating: T

Official Web site

In a nutshell: Like The Conduit, but good.

0:00 I liked the first Metroid Prime well enough, right up until the backtrack-filled collection-fest right before the final boss. I guess it left a bad taste in my mouth, because I've skipped the two sequels up to this point. Even when Nintendo sent me the "Trilogy" collection last summer, it kind of got lost in the rush of releases. Still, I'm interested to see how the Wii controls work with the game.

0:01 A camera zooms back through a series of intricately interlocking rings. Is this the barrel of Samus' gun? "Nintendo Presents ...Developed by Retro Studios ... Metroid Prime Trilogy" Familiar Metroid chanting in the background.

0:02 "Nunchuk is required." says the game. "Nunchuk is already plugged in, you stupid game," says me.

0:03 "Lock on/Free Aim" lets me move the targeting reticle around the screen while I'm locked on to an enemy. I'm not sure if this will be useful or annoying yet, but let's try it.

0:04 Do I want A to be the fire button and B the jump button or vice versa? I try to picture it in my head and decide using my thumb for frequent firing will be more comfortable. Also, something called "HUD Lag" defaults to the on position. Why would "lag" ever be a good thing?

0:05 OK, let's get going, at Normal difficulty. The camera pans dramatically around Samus as she fires a celebratory(?) charged shot.

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Endless Ocean: Blue World

Developer: Arika

Publisher: Nintendo

Release Date: Feb. 22, 2010

System: Wii

ESRB Rating: E10+

Official Web site

In a nutshell: You got first-person shooter in my ocean exploration game. And I don't like it!

0:00 I'm in the mood for a nice relaxing game this morning, and if this sequel is anything like the first Endless Ocean, I should be nearly comatose momentarily. In a good way.

0:01 A blinding look into the sun, then an abrupt transition to the title in front of palm trees. A female voice warbles melodically as gulls fly over the water. I have trouble making out most of the lyrics over the sound of the water lapping against the shore. Sound balancing FAIL.

0:03 A whale crests below yet more gulls before doing a massive jump out of the water. It's part of a group of four, and one of them spouts a massive gusher as the credits roll. The singer is back with yet another warbly song. The camera pans back to show a large school of whales spread out across the sea.

0:04 "Incredible... I've never seen so many in one place," says a young girl in a yellow and red wetsuit from a small fishing boat. "It's like every whale in the ocean is here," says the gruff, white-bearded captain next to her. "So your intuition was right on," he says, turning to my first-person perspective. A thin black guy who's also on the boat asks if I "really want to dive with all these whales around? It could be dangerous." I answer that "I'm that kind of guy" rather than "that kind of girl."

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Super Mario Galaxy 2

​Developer: Nintendo

Publisher: Nintendo

Release Date: May 23, 2010

System: Wii

ESRB Rating: E

Official Web site

In a nutshell: Welcome back, Yoshi.

0:00 Let's see, I got my start in this business running a Mario fansite, and the first Super Mario Galaxy was far and away my favorite game of 2007, so to say I'm excited for this game would be a BIT of an understatement. Of course, this means I can only be disappointed if it doesn't live up to my expectations.

0:01 "Super Mario Galaxy... WOOHOO!" says the familiar voice of Charles Martinet on the preview screen. Seems a bit hollow without any background music. BAD START! THIS GAME WILL BE HORRIBLE!

0:02 The familiar title theme from the first Mario Galaxy rings out as the title appears in a flash of light. Mario flies around a blue, star-speckled sky in the background. I create a file by stamping my Miis face on a planet, just like in the last game. Ah, familiarity.

0:03 "Now, let me tell you a new story that also begins with stardust." Wait, "also"? Is this how the first one started? Let me check. Oh, I guess so. I can't say I really remember Mario Galaxy's story very well...

0:04 "Dear Mario, Would you like to share some cake while we watch the shooting stars? Meet me at the castle! -Peach." Man, Peach is really fond of writing letters. It's 2010, girl! Get an e-mail account!

0:05 Mario pops out of a pipe and I'm suddenly in control, running Mario left and right along a 2D plane in front of the Princess' familiar castle. It might just be me, but the controls feel uncharacteristically sluggish... it takes a bit too long for Mario to get up to speed.

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Picross 3D

Developer: HAL Laboratory

Publisher: Nintendo

Release Date: May 3, 2010

System: Nintendo DS

ESRB Rating: E

Official Web site

In a nutshell: My God! It's like five games of Picross at once! Oh, my head is swimming!

0:00 I was one of probably three people who bought and enjoyed Mario's Picross on the original Game Boy. I blazed through Picross DS too, and enjoyed a quick tutorial of this 3D reimagining at GDC. Let's just say I'm expecting to spend a lot of time with this one.

0:01 10 seconds of odd "preparing to play" loading before a blocky dog bounces up and down the title screen. Transition to a blocky baseball player swinging at the air. It's amazing how recognizable these figures are despite the low resolution. The careful coloring really helps.

0:02 "Hello and welcome to Picross 3D" says what looks like a duck from Picasso's nightmares. Instead of a lengthy introduction, we go right to the menu screen. Nice.

0:04 The beginner difficulty has a "how to play" tutorial, but I already know how to play thanks to my GDC demo, so I just to the "Easy" section. Of course, you readers might not know how to play, but I don't really care about you...

0:05 OK, I really do care about you, so I'll try to explain what's going on. I've got a 5x5 grid of blocks here with various numbers on some of the faces. The numbers indicate how many blocks have to remain in that row, column or, um... depth line? I don't know the 3D term. So if there's a "zero" I know I can just chip away every block in that line with a tap of the stylus. After that, there's only four blocks remaining in a row marked with a "4," so all those get marked with protective green paint. So it goes until I've created a nice, simple letter U in 56 seconds. I get three stars for my "perfect" performance.

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The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons

Developer: Nintendo

Publisher: Nintendo

Release Date: May 14, 2001

System: Game Boy Color

ESRB Rating: E

Official Web site

In a nutshell: Zelda is Zelda, no matter the season.

0:00 I picked this up months ago at a ridiculous 75% off clearance of all Game Boy and Game Boy Color games at my local Gamestop. Total cost: $1.25 plus tax. As one of the few Zelda games I haven't played, I'm interested to see if it holds up to more recent entries in the series.

0:01 Man, I had forgotten how puny the backlight on the Game Boy Advance SP was. Compared to the DS Lite, it seems unlit.

0:02 Slow fade in. A familiar green clad figure rides in on a horse. Close up on Link riding as the chip tune music swells. Link looks exceedingly young. The camera jumps back as the horse rears up on a cliff edge over a white castle. Cut to the series' familiar overhead view, showing Link walk into a temple with three triforce pieces. They hover and encircle him in orange light. Everything goes all wavy. Cut to a shot of a large tree and a blue, partly cloudy sky. The title comes up with a catchy remix of the familiar Zelda theme.

0:04 All three files on this used copy are taken by "LANCE." They all have five hearts and 064 deaths. Hmmm... guess Lance didn't stick it out.

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WarioWare: D.I.Y.

Developer: Nintendo R&D 1

Publisher: Nintendo

Release Date: March 28, 2010

System: Nintendo DS

ESRB Rating: E

Official Web site

In a nutshell: Ten years of computer science education condensed into a one-hour tutorial.

0:00 I've played every WarioWare game obsessively for seven years now, and used my atrophied computer science skills to program simple games on my own for about twice that long, so a game that lets me make my own WarioWare games seems like a winner to me. I puttered around with this a little bit on the GDC show floor, which was hardly the ideal environment. I'm also using this hour as a try-out for the DSi XL Nintendo was kind enough to send me. So far it seems like a bigger DSi.

0:01 An overhead view of a cartoony "Diamond City" on the water. Gulls call out in the background as we focus on the island-based Crygor Labs. There, the visored Dr. Crygor plays games, when suddenly all the characters fly out of the TV. It was all a deam, but it inspires Crygor to make the Super Markermatic 21.

0:02 Wario comes in and demands Crygor fix his TV... or at least trade it for the Makermatic. Without few words, (but many pictures) Crygor explains that the Makermatic is no mere passive TV -- it lets you merge graphics, sound and AI into a game. "This just might be my ticket to riches!" Wario says with a triumphant jump. I place a stamp on the cartridge that comes out of the machine and we're off.

0:04 Looks like I have to start at the DIY shop. "This is where you can play games, read comics, listen to music... you know, cool things." Funny... only one of those was considered a "cool thing" in my middle school days.

0:05 "Oh, you must be the shop manager! Hello!" says a little Raggedy Ann-looking girl. She's Abby. I enter my name as nine star symbols, because I can.

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The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks

Developer: Nintendo
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: Dec. 8, 2009
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: I'm going off the rails on this (decidedly un-) Crazy Train.

0:00 I actually came away from my 15-minute demo of this game at E3 incredibly bored with the entire concept. Am I finally outgrowing the concept of Zelda games? Man, I hope not...

0:01 Across both screens, a blocky 3-D locomotive blasts out of a dark tunnel into the bright light of a green field. Leaning out the window is a cartoony, Wind Waker-ish Link in a black engineer's outfit, with a huge grin on his face . A ghostly version of Zelda (!) jumps off the roof and flies alongside the train. Gentle flute music in the background as the camera rotates around, showing a large tower in the distance. Birds fly along the train tracks, keeping pace with the locomotive. As the title appears we continue to chug towards the tower. A train whistle goes off as I tap the screen to start.

0:02 The familiar file-select music brings me back to the '80s almost immediately. The game asks me to twice confirm that I'm right-handed. In case I mis-clicked the first time I guess?

0:03 Adventure, Battle and Tag modes are available. The others sound interesting, but let's dive into Adventure, why not? "This is a tale from long ago. It's a tale of the first settlers of this land." It was peaceful, but not for long. "The evil Demon King rose to power." And who exactly voted for him? Anyway, the "spirits of good" faced him, leading to a long war, with lots of bloodshed. The good spirits subdued him but couldn't destroy him. With the last of their strength, they shackled him. "The shackles cover the land to this day." Hmmm ... train tracks look like shackles. Anyway, without demons and spirits, "the land was entrusted to us," which seems like a good deal to me.

0:05 Zoom out from the illustrative tapestry on the bottom screen to show a bald man speaking from behind it. "Well? Do I know how to tell a story or what? ... It's a blasted masterpiece... a blasterpiece." I'm going to have to weave that word into casual conversation.

0:06 Pan to Link, who fell asleep on the floor during the story. They're roommates, though the bald guy seems a lot older than Link. Amazingly, he takes the hint and apologizes for boring me.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Excitebike: World Rally

Developer: Monster Games
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: Nov. 9, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Nintendo made a seamless online experience? That can't be right...

0:00 The original Excitebike was hands down one of my favorite NES games, but I was severely underwhelmed by the overly technical 3-D update on the N64. This one looks more like the original, but with online play and track sharing. Sounds like a winning formula to me!

0:01 I've already downloaded the game to my SD card, but before I can play it I need to clear 201 "blocks" on my Wii system memory so the system can load the game. So long Wii Fit Channel. I wasn't using you regularly enough anyway...

0:02 A few seconds of loading and a nondescript title screen pops up. I like the synth- and nostalgia-heavy remix of the original's intro music. Once that 10-second bit runs out, though, the tune advances to some new hair-rock anthem that's not nearly as good.

0:03 "Normal" controls let me tilt the Wii Remote to tilt the bike. "Classic" controls let me use the d-pad. It's a no brainer for me ... Classic! Some games do NOT need motion controls.

0:04 The options screen lets me set the "lane indicator" to "Terrain," "Flat" or "Off." Wish I knew what the difference was between them. OK, off to the World Tour. The Bronze Cup is all that's available. I guess I'll do the optional training first, even though I doubt I need it.

0:05 The first lesson teaches me how to switch between the four arrow-straight lanes by tapping up and down on the d-pad. There's a regular gas pedal and a turbo pedal that can lead to overheating if I use it too much, just like in the original. I'm also introduced to arrow-shaped "cooldown strips" that reset the engine temperature magically to zero. Is that what those are? Did they cool down in the original game too? I saw them all the time but never knew the purpose! Hey, I never said I was GOOD at the original.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story

Developer: AlphaDream
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: Sept. 14, 2009
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Man, Bowser swallowed a lot of save points...

0:00 RPGs with Mario in them are the only ones I tend to like without reservations. The addition of reflex-based action in the battles portions is the key for me. Plus, I'm a sucker for Mario. Duh!

0:01 Peach's Castle appears above a huge reflecting pool. The title pops up in big bubble letters amidst jaunty flute music. I take a quick "Mic Test" and find my voice volume is "ample." Good to know!

0:03 In Toad Town, the Toads meander about randomly. Inside a toadstool-shaped house: "Mom, I'm home!" Mom's at the sink. "Well hi there, sweetie! Home early today, huh?" There's a picture of Princess Peach on the wall. What is this, "1984"? Big Princess is Watching!

0:04 The little Toad snuck out of class early because the teacher was boring. Mom says dinner's almost ready. Wait, dinnertime is during school hours? Man, classes run late these days!

0:05 Young Toad calls for Dad, but "YEEEEEK!" He's turned into a giant, spherical Toad, rolling through walls and such. "THE BLORBS!" says the bottom-screen headline as the top turns to a sepia-toned photograph. "Mushroom Kingdom Marred by Mystery Malady! ... It comes without warning! First, you balloon to blimp size. Then the rolling! You roll away! Oh, the horror of the blorbs!" Horror!

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box

Developer: Level 5
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: Aug. 24, 2009
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E-10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Critical thinking is STILL the key to success.

0:00 I loved working through the first Layton game, even though a few of the puzzles were a bit too obtuse. Of course, the grassroots viral promotion for this sequel has only increased my interest.

0:01 A boy and a girl stand with their backs facing each other on a woodcut. The title appears over them with elegant strings and light piano backing. "New Game" is my only option, so ... I choose it!

0:02 After writing in my name, white text appears on a black background with a gentle female narrator: "There are tales of a box that brings death upon any who dare open it. Tell me, do you think those rumors could be true?" An whimsically animated cut scene in a train station, now. "Hey look, there it is," young Luke cries.

0:03 Luke and Layton give over their tickets and walk onto the platform. A woman in a yellow headscarf follows, lowering her sunglasses to see if anyone is watching her. Workers are trying to squeeze a fat lady into a train car. On the train, Layton calls the train "a cruise ship on rails." And away they roll. Layton's voice sounds a bit different than in the last game ... slightly more menacing, slightly less carefree. Is this a new voice actor?

0:04 Luke and Layton chat about the Elysian Box. "All who open it die, eh?" asks Luke. "The answer is out there, Luke ... but we just need to find it." "We will ... I know it," says Luke, cloyingly. "Prologue: The Elysian Box." Can't say the intro has hooked me as of yet.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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New Play Control! Donkey Kong Jungle Beat

Developer: Nintendo
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: May 4, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: A game designed for a bongo controller minus the bongo controller = just a game.

0:00 I loved the original GameCube game, but the bongo-beating action made it hard to play for an extended period of time. I'm worried the game won't be as fun without them, though.

0:01 For a last-generation game, the initial menus look pretty good on my new widescreen HDTV. A lot better than New Play Control! Pikmin, anyway. Also, the game lets me use a Mii to identify my save file. Let's see the GameCube version do THAT!

0:02 The game tells me to shake the Nunchuk and Remote. When I do, a spotlight appears against a leafy green curtain, which moves to reveal ... Donkey Kong! Two small, white monkeys bid him to move forward, which I do with a gentle tilt of the analog stick. The A button jumps over obstacles. Huh ... I figured I'd be shaking the controller to emulate tapping the bongos. I guess by "New Play Control" they really mean "the Old Play Control that platform games had before that wacky bongo controller."

0:03 I have to do clap DK's hands to get a monkey out of a tree, but the game doesn't tell me how to do this. In the GameCube version, you actually clapped in real life. Here, it seems you jump and hit B to do a ground-pound. Oh, the monkey tells me I can also clap by tilting the analog stick and shaking the Remote. I like how you can choose the direction of your claps ... pretty sure that wasn't an option in the original.

0:06 I rescue a few more monkeys with a few more claps, then "Beat on a Barrel Tree" to "test [my] strength." The title drops down into DK's hands!

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Punch-Out!! (Wii)

Developer: Next Level Games
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: March 18, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: After 15 years, Mac is back!

0:00 I loved loved LOVED the first two console Punch-Out!! games, but was underwhelmed by my 15-minute demo of this new one at GDC. It felt way too easy, and too much a carbon copy of the original game with updated graphics and bad motion controls.

0:01 I'm digging the looping bit of the remixed original theme that's playing on the preview screen. Dun ... danana... dun ... dananana!

0:02 Little Mac punches the air in a silent room bathed in soft light. The camera zooms in and gets punched to pieces. A wall of light bulbs pops into view in the background as the title appears. The awesome remixed theme has been replaced by some odd horn-filled tune.

0:03 Heh ... the Wii pointer on the menus is a little boxing glove that punches the menu options when I click the A button. Cute.

0:04 At the GDC demo, I found that punching the air with the Nunchuk and Wii Remote was more annoying than engrossing. I'm instead holding the Wii Remote alone like an NES controller. It's just simpler. Also, I'm a lazy weakling. What of it!

0:05 Let's dive into Career mode. Glass Joe is up first ... I TOLD you this was a lot like the original game.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Excitebots: Trick Racing

Developer: Monster Games
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: April 20, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: It really feels like you're driving a robotic frog!

0:00 I spent a few enjoyable hours with the original Excite Truck when the Wii was fresh and new, but I moved on to other games before finishing. A short demo of Excitebots at GDC got me fired up for more seat-of-the-pants high-flying trick racing, though.

0:01 Since the game actually comes with a Wii Wheel accessory, I guess I'll try using it. I never really liked the way it felt for Mario Kart Wii, though.

0:02 A quick message about how to properly hold the Wii Wheel, then the title screen pops up with some thrilling full-screen video from the game. Bots are flying and crashing and flipping all over the place to the strains of some high-energy guitar synth.

0:04 There's an intriguing option called "Poker Race" that's grayed out on the menu screen. The online and versus play options are also locked. Looks like I'm off to the single-player racing, then. Let's start with the training to get a refresher on how this all works (hey, it's been a while).

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Personal Trainer: Math

Developer: Nintendo
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: Jan. 12, 2009
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Also known as "Make Kyle Feel Bad About His Division Skills: The Game!"

0:00 Doing math drills doesn't sound like much fun to me, but Nintendo sent me the game so I figure I owe it to them to at least try it out. I'm a bit afraid to see how much my math skills have atrophied since my school days. Hopefully this isn't calculus-level stuff.

0:01 I hold the DS on its side, book-style. "Welcome to Personal Trainer: Math!" says a blue-haired guy in a blue suit. He has no mouth, yet he somehow says: "My name is Hideo Kageyama. I'm going to be your new math teacher." Hey-o, Hideo.

0:03 The game recommends starting with the Daily Test, and who am I to argue? "Oh, I see that this is your first-ever daily test. It's important that you practice math every day." Hence the "daily" part of "daily test," right?

0:04 The first test is a series of flash cards. I have to count how many items appear on a flash card and write the number on the touch-screen. Really, that's it. This doesn't feel like "math" to me. Feels more like "counting." Counting is not math! My time of 31 seconds got me second place by only a second, mainly because I had to correct the faulty text recognition a couple of times.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Pokémon Platinum Version

Developer: Nintendo
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: March 22, 2009
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Really? I've gotta catch 'em all? Again? Oh man...

0:00 It's appropriate that this game is named after a precious metal, since the last true Pokémon game I played was named after a precious gem (Emerald). Right? Appropriate!

0:01 The Pokémon logo appears with all the subtlety of a freight train on the top screen. On the bottom screen, a vignette of overhead shots of simple 3-D towns. Then two trainers run on both screens, one boy and one girl. Manga-style action as they throw Pokéballs to release ... a bunch of Pokémon I don't recognize. Who are all these guys? Then an evil-looking guy with evil-sounding music, red eyes peering from a dark void above a smiling red mouth. The title appears on the top screen while a floating yellow and red form shows on the bottom.

0:03 "Hello there! It's so very nice to meet you!" says a faceless voice. "Welcome to the world of Pokémon!" It's Rowan, a guy in a blue vest with white hair and a bushy mustaches. Everyone calls him the professor.

0:04 "You are about to enter a world where you will embark on a grand adventure of your very own." Imagine that ... adventure in a videogame!

0:05 "On your travels, we hope that you will meet countless people and, through them, achieve personal growth. This is the most important objective of this adventure." This is so sickeningly sweet I think I'm getting diabetes.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer