Metroid Prime 3: Corruption

Developer: Nintendo

Publisher: Nintendo

Release Date: Aug. 27, 2007

System: Wii

ESRB Rating: T

Official Web site

In a nutshell: Like The Conduit, but good.

0:00 I liked the first Metroid Prime well enough, right up until the backtrack-filled collection-fest right before the final boss. I guess it left a bad taste in my mouth, because I've skipped the two sequels up to this point. Even when Nintendo sent me the "Trilogy" collection last summer, it kind of got lost in the rush of releases. Still, I'm interested to see how the Wii controls work with the game.

0:01 A camera zooms back through a series of intricately interlocking rings. Is this the barrel of Samus' gun? "Nintendo Presents ...Developed by Retro Studios ... Metroid Prime Trilogy" Familiar Metroid chanting in the background.

0:02 "Nunchuk is required." says the game. "Nunchuk is already plugged in, you stupid game," says me.

0:03 "Lock on/Free Aim" lets me move the targeting reticle around the screen while I'm locked on to an enemy. I'm not sure if this will be useful or annoying yet, but let's try it.

0:04 Do I want A to be the fire button and B the jump button or vice versa? I try to picture it in my head and decide using my thumb for frequent firing will be more comfortable. Also, something called "HUD Lag" defaults to the on position. Why would "lag" ever be a good thing?

0:05 OK, let's get going, at Normal difficulty. The camera pans dramatically around Samus as she fires a celebratory(?) charged shot.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT<--***

***-->JOYSTICK DIVISION<-***

___________________________________________________

The Conduit

Developer: High Voltage Software
Publisher: Sega
Release Date: June 23, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Exploding the conspiracy that says the Wii can't do a good first-person shooter.

0:00 I liked the short hands-off demo I got of this game at GDC, and it's been sitting unopened on my shelf for far too long now. Let's do it to it! To the Condu-it, to be precise. HA!

0:01 The title screen features some generic spy-thriller music and a gentle blue background. Right off, I'm shocked that the screen doesn't fill up my widescreen display. This is the kind of game that could definitely benefit from using the entire display. What's up with that?

0:02 The game uses "Mr.Ford" as my default name, and I stick with it, even though they forgot the space after the period. Yes, I am a punctuation nerd.

0:03 Selectable difficulties are Low, Guarded, Elevated, High and Severe? Is this a game or the Homeland Security Advisory System? I'll play at Elevated, because that's our current terrorism alert level, according to DHS. I'm all about the realism!

0:04 The options menu lets me move around the location of my health, ammo, etc. on the heads-up display. It's a nice touch, but in the end I trust the designers to have them placed correctly...

0:05 The selectable controller layouts are named Ford, Washington, Adams and Jefferson. What is this, "National Treasure"?

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

____________________________________________________

Left 4 Dead

Developer: Valve
Publisher: Valve
Release Date: Nov. 18, 2008
System: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PC
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: A zombie game that's actually scary.

0:00 I'm not usually much for horror/zombie games/movies, but the Valve name and the mounds of chatter have me excited about this one.

0:01 "Two weeks after first infection." Close-up on a four-fingered hand (missing a thumb) with buzzing flies. "Hold up! Ain't seen anything like this before," says a grizzled paramilitary. "They're changing?" He rubs some goo on a chatty cohort. "Someone's still alive," says a woman in a jogging suit. It's a whimpering girl in a nearby building. In the alley, the zombies attack, and inside, so does the whimpering girl (who is a zombie, of course). "Run like hell," says the tracksuit woman, accurately. Commence shooting, blood, chaos, etc. "Fire in the hole," says Grizzly McGee as he throws a timed grenade. A helicopter scans the town with a spotlight as the token black guy screams for attention: "WE'RE NOT INFECTED! OVER HERE!" The chopper ignores him, then a zombie leaps on his back. "Aw, this is gonna get bad," says Grizzly, accurately, as hundreds of running zombies come streaming over fences and out of alleys in slow motion. Among the throng is one huge hulking guy. "Run or shoot? RUN OR SHOOT?" asks TBG in a panic. They choose both. "Get to the roof!" A fire escape comes down on top of Hulk just as tracksuit girl makes a leap for Grizzly's outstretched hand. "We made it!" "Son, we just crossed the street. Let's not throw a party 'till we're out of the city." And just like that, it's loading the title screen. Already it's more exciting than most games...

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Call of Duty: World at War

Developer: Treyarch
Publisher: Activision
Release Date: Nov. 11, 2008
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3, PC, PS2, Wii, DS
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: All the fun of World War II, now with more grenades!

0:00 I was prepared to like this game after playing a bit of the excellent Call of Duty 4 (different developer, I know). But this post on Joystiq has changed my expectations a bit.

0:01 This minute spent downloading a downloadable update that's available for download. DOWNLOAD!

0:02 After downloading yet another update (that's a first), we're on to the title screen. Through some gray fog, I can see pith helmets sitting on bayonets sticking up out of the ground. The music is Silent Hill-style creepy.

0:03 Graphic content can be set to "reduced" or "unrestricted." This makes sense, but calling it "unrestricted" just makes it sound so ... DECADENT!

0:04 "WARNING -- Call of Duty: World at War contains graphic content and historical footage which some players may find disturbing. Player discretion is advised." Yeah, I got that impression from the Joystiq post...

0:05 The selectable difficulties are Recruit, Regular, Hardened and Veteran. The last of these says point-blank: "You will not survive." Well that doesn't sound like fun! I'm just a Regular guy.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Far Cry 2

Developer: Ubisoft Montreal
Publisher: Ubisoft
Release Date: Oct. 22, 2008
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3, PC
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: If looks could kill...

0:00 My computer at the time wasn't up to running the original Far Cry. In fact, it probably still isn't up to the task. Still, this Xbox 360 version of Far Cry 2 should allow me to shoot stuff in the jungle at a decent frame rate.

0:01 A handy little poster/map falls out of the game case as I open it. Reminds me of the old The Legend of Zelda for the NES. I always envied my friends for their little maps, which weren't included in my used copy. *Sniff*

0:02 Sure enough, there's a downloadable update available. It installs in record time, though. "Need help? Visit farcry.com/help," says the loading screen. I bet the guide publishers aren't happy about that.

0:03 A conflagration engulfs the screen, then dissipates to show the game title in flames. There's some gentle chanting in the background. I set the brightness and the main menu appears in a field notebook.

0:04 The selectable difficulties are Easy, Normal, Hardcore and Infamous. On Infamous, you aren't allowed to use a crosshair. I'll take Normal, thanks.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Fracture

Developer: Day 1 Studios
Publisher: LucasArts
Release Date: Oct. 7, 2008
System: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3
ESRB Rating: T

In a nutshell: All it's cracked up to be.

0:00 I'm not the world's biggest FPS fan, but I am looking forward to playing around with the Havok system that was shown off so well in Star Wars: The Force Unleashed.

0:01 The game's logo sits on a lightly lit piece of asphalt, which explodes with a magma-infused fissure between the syllables. On to the menu screen, where a creepy marine with body armor and a big-ass gun stands in front of scenes from the game with somber music in the background. Seems cluttered...

0:03 The difficulties are Casual, Standard and Hardcore. I like the description for Casual: "The Pacificans cower and grovel as you smash your way to victory." That sounds like fun, but I choose Standard to avoid charges that I'm a wimp.

0:04 The loading screen teaches me a bit about ground deformation. For instance, did you know people go slower when going up hills? I know! Revolutionary!

0:05 "How did it come to this? By the 22nd century, global climate change was irreversible." It took that long? Anyway, the Midwest became a water-filled wasteland and the country is now divided by a 200-mile-wide Mississippi. Each side of the country saw a different way of human evolution. The East passed the Defense of Humanity act, making substantial genetic modification a federal crime. The West seceded in response, with a new capital of San Francisco and a new leader named Sheridan, who says, "You can't stand in the way of progress." The president says Sheridan is a "dangerous threat." I'm impressed with the concept, as well as the writing and presentation, so far.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas 2

Developer: Ubisoft Montreal
Publisher: Ubisoft
Release Date: March 18, 2008
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3, PC
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: What happens in Vegas seems to get a lot of people killed...

0:00 The sum total of my Tom Clancy' experience is contained in the 44 minutes I spent with the Ghost Recon 2 demo. This one got heaps of praise, though, so I'm willing to venture out of my comfort zone a bit.

0:01 This minute spent downloading a quick Xbox Live update, watching a bunch of company logos, and watching a loading screen.

0:02 Jump directly to a title screen, with a slowly rotating view of a large, empty hangar in the background. Military-style trumpet music plays like a dirge in the background.

0:03 I can choose from eight faces, all stereotypically ethnic, all pretty ugly. I can add some facial hair and war paint too, but it all looks kind of ridiculous on these misshapen faces.

0:04 The single-player Story mode can be played in "Casual," "Normal" or "Realistic" difficulties. Does that last one mean my character has to go to the bathroom every few hours? Now THAT'S realism! I choose Casual, confident that it will still be way too much for me.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Haze

Developer: Free Radical
Publisher: Ubisoft
Release Date: May 20, 2008
System: PS3
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: In the future, all soldiers are drug-addicted jerks.

0:00 All I really know about this game is that it's been delayed a lot and didn't do too great at retail.

0:01 The predictable "Installing Game Data" screen pops up. You know what that means -- it's sandwich time!

0:03 We're at 15 percent installed. At least there's some enjoyable trumpet-and-string-heavy music. It's like the opening to a war movie, except more installation-y.

0:06 50 percent! The sandwich was good, but now I need something to do with my mouth. Maybe I'll take up smoking.

0:08 85 percent. The music is less endearing now that I've heard it loop two times. Plus, I can't hear it over my coughing from the cigarette smoke.

0:09 Just when it seems like the install is done, I need to download a game update. Usually I'd be angry, but these cigs really help calm my nerves.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

The Club

Developer: Bizarre Creations
Publisher: Sega
Release Date: Feb. 19, 2008
Systems: PS3 (reviewed), Xbox 360, PC
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Project Gotham Shooting.

0:00 I'm not usually a shooter fan, but I'm still looking forward to this one because of the good critical reception, not to mention the Sega and Bizarre names behind it.

0:01 A Russian guy runs through a snowy field, away from a shooter in a helicopter. He's Dragov. Now he's inside meeting with The Secretary! Killen is shooting a guy with a shotgun. Renwick is punching a guy out. Seager is wearing riot gear. Adjo is surrounded by people in the African savannah. Kuro is shooting people on the streets of Japan. Finn is getting beat up in a casino's back room. Nemo is hiding in the corner of a dark abandoned room. They're all part of THE CLUB, as the title screen says in bigger letters.

0:03 "Welcome KyleOrl to the club." Thanks, but please, just call me Kyle.

0:04 The options screen lets me edit the speaker angle and crosshair color. These are crucial options!

0:05 The only selectable options are Multiplayer and Tournament. There's no story/campaign mode? I'm told to choose a character that suits my playing style. I choose fast and weak Kuro, because I figure I'll need the help dodging.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

Developer: Infinity Ward
Publisher: Activision
Release Date: Nov. 6, 2007
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3, PC
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: Halo: Reality Edition

0:00 I'm not usually one for war games (unless they're of the Advance Wars variety), but after hearing everybody and their cousin Fred praise this one, I decided to borrow a copy and see what the big deal was.

0:01 "50,000 people used to live here. Now it's a ghost town." We're in Pripykat, Ukraine. An old man complains about the West. A TV reporter talks over scenes of anarchy. "Just as they laid waste to our country, we shall lay waste to theirs." Some guy does a voiceover in... Russian? More scenes of firefights and chaos. I can't tell if this is still in the Ukraine... looks slightly more... American?

0:03 An S.A.S. login screen... not sure what that stands for. "Good news first. The world's in great shape." Civil wars, 15,000 nukes at stake. Great... Khaled Al-Asad is a bad guy. Soap is a new good guy... oh, that's me. And I'm already in control. Nice.

Read the full review over at Crispy Gamer

Killer 7

Developer: Grasshopper
Publisher: Capcom
Release Date: July 7, 2005
Systems: GameCube (reviewed), PS2
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: Cel-shaded carnage.

0:01 "This game contains mature subject matter and graphic violence." Now there's an understatement. Someone is shooting at the Capcom and Grasshopper logos. Seems a bit gratuitous, as does the maniacal laughter as I choose "options."

0:02 Difficulty options are "Normal" and "Deadly." Whatever happened to "Easy?" I guess Normal is the new Easy. "Target:00 Angel" is the first chapter.

0:03 A laser pointer target hovers on a black silhouette. I can move the target around. A head shot turns the silhouette into some bloody kanji. Trippy.

0:04 The moon is beating in time to music. Was that the loading screen? Now a white-suited guy (Garcian Smith, as the credits call him) walks down an urban tableau. He has a tense moment passing a guy named Christopher Mills. There's no music, and stark black and white backgrounds with some blue gradients. Very stylish... like a movie intro. I like it.

0:05 Garcian gets a call about his mission. "May the lord smile." "And the devil have mercy." Smooth. My first task is "A free-for-all fight in the multipurpose Celtic building." A lot of this seems to lose something in the translation.

0:06 "Do you wish to learn the controls?" YES! Weird... the control stick doesn't control movement. The A button runs, and B changes direction (there are only two ways to go). Hold R to enter shooting mode. Somehow it works ... the system is very streamlined and promotes smooth, continuous motion. The low to the ground camera is very nice.

0:09 Cut scene time again. I'm on a surveillance camera when I (as Garcian) somehow change into a lanky white guy. "You don't want to go any further... My friends were all murdered" says a passing crazy person. Dan Smith (me): "Shit, there's more than 14. Those bastards are breeding." I'm so confused.

0:10 A gimp-like guy clad head to toe in red leather is my servant, apparently. His name is Iwazaru and he tells me where to find my room. "Let the bloodbath begin... in the name of Harman." What?

0:11 OK, apparently I'm Harman because my room is called "Harman's room." On the TV I can pick out personalities and try them on like clothes. There's Garcian, and Dan Smith, and a woman named Kaede Smith, and a whole bunch of others, some of whom are locked out currently. Weird.

0:13 I come to Iwazaru again. He has a bunch of info. about all sorts of game-related stuff. "About multiple personalities: They're not just normal multiple personalities ...[they're] multiple personalities, but with multiple bodies." So, uh multiple distinct people then?

0:17 Iwazaru's voice is incredibly unsettling, like he's whispering through a voice-changed. It's kind of grating, and the subtitles go by very slowly.

0:19 "The blood in the beaker is pure. Give it to the doctor in the television." In any other game that would be by far the weirdest line. In here it's one of the sanest.

0:20 OK, I could probably sit here reading about esoterica for another 10 minutes, but let's get back to the real game.

0:21 As I run down the hallway, Iwazaru suggests I turn back, because the enemies will "bomb rush" me. And they do. I can barely see the transparent things. Am I missing something?

0:23 I run into Travis, sitting in an open elevator. He speaks in a freaky, breathy whisper. "I'm the killer who got killed on the job ... you think I'm a real pain in the ass don't you... I ain't letting you go nowhere." Oh come on, just get out of the way. Or at least let me shoot you. Freaking ghost.

0:25 Iwazaru: "This guy is a true freak." Yeah, like you're one to talk, you gimp.

0:26 My first real battle, with a freaky looking something called "Camellia Smile." She goes down in three shots... running away all the while. Lots of blood everywhere. Then I run into an invisible wall. What do I do now? Guess I'll backtrack a bit.

0:30 At the halfway mark for the hour and I'm totally at a loss for what to do. Part of me is really intrigued by the presentation, another part of me is really peeved at being thrown in with so little guidance as to what the hell's going on. Give and take, I guess.

0:33 Back to my room to get more info. from Iwazaru, since I can't figure out what else to do. So according to Iwazaru, the Camellia Smile thing I killed might have been a traitor that wanted to defect to my side. NOW he tells me. Maybe this would've been nice to know earlier?

0:34 "Decadent murder makes the blood boil." Does Jack Thompson know about this game? "It's a world of sin. Have you met the sinner." Creeeepy.

0:37 Still stuck. My best clue is that I hear someone laughing when I go in the parking lot, but it's no one I can see.

0:39 In my pause menu, there's a memo that says "pigeon." When I choose it, there's a pigeon against a striped background. Wow. Just when you think this game can't get weirder.

0:44 So apparently I was supposed to use L to scan for enemies at that wall I was stuck at. This reveals a hanging monster that occasionally drops eggs with enemies. Part of me is mad at myself for not realizing this (it was part of the control tutorial, but I thought it was an optional part). Part of me is mad at the game for not telling me explicitly what to do when I got stuck. Have I gotten too coddled by games that lead me by the hand early on?

0:46 Apparently, scanning for enemies makes the transparent things suicide bombers apparent and killable. The game suddenly makes a bit more sense (but just a bit).

0:47 After taking out it's shambling spawn, I shoot the hanging thing in its shiny weakpoint. It explodes in a shower of white light. Whee!

0:49 Travis (now in the parking lot) tells me how the egg-laying Duplicator I just killed "pumped out the countless duplicates that took this country down." He gives me a "soul shell" bullet to take down the queen "gatekeeper." That's all well and good, but where do I go next?

0:51 Despite helping me in the parking garage, Travis is still in the elevator. And he STILL won't move to let me pass. Sigh.

0:52 So now, for no apparent reason, I have the option to go down a part of the hallway that I couldn't before. I've heard of linear game design, but this is a bit much.

0:54 A guy in a hooded sweatshirt gets blown to pieces by one of the transparent suicide bombers in a somewhat gratuitous cut scene.

0:59 After dying a few times to shambling suicide ghosts, I realize I'm way too tired to aim well. I'll come back when I'm less beat and less freaked out.

Would I play this game for more than an hour? Yes
Why? It's incredibly unique and intriguing. I feel I've barely scratched the surface of an impressive, if badly translated, world.

This review based on a retail copy rented from GameFly.

The Darkness

Developer: Starbreeze Studios
Publisher: 2K Games
Release Date: June 25, 2007
Systems: PS3 (reviewed), Xbox 360
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: The opposite of The Lightness.

0:01 The intro. movie is a series of quick jump cuts. Guys on cross. A skinned bull. An angel on a cross. A soldier shooting a helpless prisoner. "Past. Present. Future" "I think I'm in hell." "This is the heart of the Darkness" "Mutilate."Destroy." "Avenge." "Watch the skies." "Come, embrace the Darkness." It's supposed to be creepy, but it comes off as Goth campy.

0:02 "I remember the night of my 21st birthday. That was the first time I died.." Intriguing.

0:03 Someone wakes me up. I'm in the back of a convertible. The mobsters in front are weaving through traffic and cursing up a storm. I'm with them, and it's my birthday, apparently. We don't have the money that the boss wants, and they're worried he's not gonna be happy. The writing is very natural, although peppered with too many curse words for my taste. I'm not a prude, but when every other word is "fuck" it gets on my nerves.

0:05 We're being chased. He tries to shake 'em. This guy is driving like a maniac. "Tell 'em they'll never take us alive. They hate that." Heh.

0:06 So I'm given a gun and have to help "shake these pigs." but I can't shoot it. I'm just holding it in my hands. Nino, the passenger in front, goes down with a giant "fuck meeeeeee." And I take his place, kicking him to the asphalt in the process.

0:07 So Now I can fire but I can't turn around all the way to fire at the cops tailing us. This is getting annoying. I can take out a guy crawling on our windshield like a sitting duck, though.

0:08 I take out a few more guys standing in our path, but it doesn't seem to matter much ... they couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. It's ok, though, we reach a dead end and flip over. I guess this was the first time I dead.

0:10 The demo jumps to chapter 3, "The Graveyard." "Me and Paulie never did agree about the way things was bein' done," my character says in his best Brooklyn Italian accent. Apparently Paulie, the driver from before, betrayed me, tried to kill me, and now his men are after me. At the cut scene ends I've got two guns in my hands and guys firing at me from above. "Darkness will fall." says a creepy-ass voice after I dispatch the gunmen

0:11 The shootout in the cemetery begins. I like the animation on the enemies when they fall. Looks like their actually being hit by a hail of gunfire. Reminiscent of Goldeneye

0:12 Ouch. When I get close to a guy I raise my gun and shoot straight down into his head. What a way to go.

0:13 The screen goes red at the edges when I'm low on health and I go down. "Your life is mine" says the creepy ass voice. Or is it... I'm back at the entrance to the graveyard again.

0:15 Another super-gruesome kill ... this time I stick the gun barrel down an enemy's mouth. Ew.

0:16 "I am the master of death." Well then you're the master of me because I keep dying. I just noticed the graffiti on the hallway wall. "I'm the fucked one. They fucked me. I FUCKING graduated from high school." Way to use those vocabulary lessons.

0:17 I kick a guy in the balls from behind then take him out with a gunshot. That first part seems gratuitous.

0:18 The strategy so far seems to be knocking guys down with bullets, running up to them as they hobble up, then doing a close-up gruesome kill.

0:19 I made it through the graveyard and into a far hallway. Homeless Frank Rottenberg lives at the end, in the bathroom. "Smells like Satan's bunghole, but it beats freezing to death. "Ain't it the truth.

0:20 I take out Rottenberg after he gives me next to no information. Nice that the NPCs react realistically to a bullet in the head.

0:21 "Through you I will display my power. Through you I am born." Holy crap. I've grown tentacles with gnashing teeth and I'm automatically taking out everyone. Looks like fun... too bad I can't control it. "You are nothing but my puppet." Yeah, that's what I'm complaining about.

0:23 Oh, OK, now I can summon the tentacle powers at will with the R1 button. I still have my guns out even though these tentacles look like they can handle anything that comes my way. The "devour heart" option appears over my fallen foes. I can spawn a berserker, a devil-dog thing with a flannel shirt.

0:26 My berserker companion opens the graveyard gate and I'm on the street again. The little guy also helps me take out the shooters that are standing there for some reason.

0:30 The first "puzzle." I have to turn into a slithering snake and get through and air duct to take a key from a taunting guard. The puzzle is easy to figure out, but the awkward slithering controls make it unnecessarily frustrating.

0:31 Chapter 3 done, we warp to Chapter 7. I've gone to mess up Paulie's operation on Grinder's Lane. "The place always makes me want to kick a fucking dog - or something." And this is the guy you're supposed to empathize with - or something.

0:34 Some guys talking about how I escaped from the cemetery. They can't figure out who was helping me take out all those guys. They can't fathom it was me and my demon powers. Nice touch.

0:36 Did I mention that every other fucking word in this fucking game is a fucking curse word?

0:39 I sneak in as a slithering thing and kill the two chatting mobsters. Then I destroy a generator. Now what? I'm looking for switch to open the gate, but it's so dark it's impossible to find anything.

0:41 Oh my god. I can open the gate just by pushing on it. I could have sworn I tried that already. Obviously wasn't trying hard enough.

0:44 I go into an abandoned workshop, pick up some gasoline, and operate some band saws sitting around. Now what?

0:45 Apparently I'm supposed to wander into this meat freezer, which just happens to have a bunch of enemy mobsters waiting for me. Because why wouldn't mobsters hang out in a freezer? I die quickly in the ensuing shootout "We do not die." creepy ass voice tells me. Whoopee.

0:46 I've died five times now in the same shootout. Creepy-ass voice is having a field day: "Our blood flows in you." "You can not live." "Your life is mine."

0:48 Up to seven deaths now.

0:52 I'm beginning to make some headway. The key seems to be taking out a few guys quickly, then devouring their hearts to get the tentacles out. They act as a shield to help take out the other guys. A nice family-friendly game

0:53 I stumble across a TV that's randomly playing a real video of Flash Gordon. I change the channel and a Popeye cartoon come on. Heh. I shoot out the lights so I can see the screen better.

0:59 OK, I've been wandering around the hallways trying to find what to do next for the past five minutes. Time to call it quits.

Would I play this game for more than an hour? Yes.
Why? Despite some pacing and control problems, it's got some decent shooting, snappy writing, and is full of atmosphere. Definitely worth some more time.

This review based on a demo downloaded from the PlayStation Network.

Halo 3

Developer: Bungie
Publisher: Microsoft
Release Date: Sept. 25, 2007
Systems: Xbox 360
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web Site

Also see: An hour with the Halo 3 multiplayer beta test

In a nutshell: If one of the biggest marketing campaigns in the world didn't clue you in, nothing I write will.

0:01 "Aahhhhh ahhh ahhhh ahh ahh ahh ahh" the choir sings over a twilit menu screen. I like the descriptions for the difficulty levels. Easy says it "practically plays itself," Legendary punishes the slightest error with death and Hard is "the way Halo is meant to be played." Normal for me, please.

0:02 Stars. "They let me pick," Cortana says. "Did I ever tell you that. Choose whichever Spartan I wanted. You know me, I did my research, watched as you became the solider we needed you to be." It's a regular Master Chief lovefest. She says I'm lucky as a shooting star comes to Earth.

0:03 It turns out the shooting star was me. I fell two kilometers and was found by a group of military guys. Eventually I wake up. "Why do you always jump?" a gruff looking marine tells me. "One of these days you're gonna land on something as stubborn as you are." Heh. Cortana's words echo in my ears: "Don't make a girl a promise if you know you can't keep it."

0:04 I'm in control already. My armor's a bit messed up from the fall, so one of the guys makes me look up and down at a target. Is this the game's subtle way of doing analog calibration?

0:05 Oh, I'm no longer in control. Apparently there's an arbiter with our team. The same marine from before stops me before I can kill him. Loading screen...

0:06 OK, time for action. We're trying to make it to the river for an evacuation. The jungle is incredibly lush and beautifully rendered. But it's quiet... too quiet.

0:08 Some of my compatriots climb up a ledge. I can't figure out how to follow them. I'm the freakin' master chief... I should be able to climb five feet!

0:09 Doubling back (since I can't climb on), I come across a small invading force. My team and I force them back easily with some covering fire. I'm impressed with their retreat -- shows some intelligence.

0:13 We come to a ledge and spy a small group of far off enemies, I can't get a good zoom with my current weapons, so I just jump down, guns blazing, outrunning my reinforcements. I almost die, but my shields recharge quickly as I hide behind a crate. That was simple.

0:15 First wow moment... we stumble across a huge glowing dude punching and ripping apart a marine. Just as I zoom in to watch, a battle starts.

0:16 The lighting here is really amazing. I really feel like I'm under a thick forest canopy.

0:18 Cortana appears in my helmet: "Could you sacrifice me to complete your mission. Could you watch me die?" Shades of BioShock's creepy imaginings.

0:21 The planes that were gonna extract us go down to enemy fire. D'oh! Now we have to find the wreckage.

0:22 Whoops. As I try to jump a small log I accidentally fall to my death into the river below. Yeah, I suck. Also: seeing enemies explodes via their own grenades is priceless.

0:24 "Can you hear me. My bird's down. Half a click *static* from your position." Wow, that static was conveniently timed, eh?

0:25 I'm really liking the AI so far. Enemies jump to the side to avoid fire and work well as a group.

0:26 My first non-suicidal death... I'm taken out by a needler that has the high ground. I see him with plenty of time but can't get back to cover quickly enough.

0:27 This time I take the sniper out from afar using my Carbine. Nothing to it.

0:28 A brute puts up an energy shield, then immediately runs right through it to attack me. Weird, that.

0:30 Cut scene time. The friendly arbiter points out the brutality of his kin. "I will help you spring him." Well aren't you sweet?

0:32 Being trapped in a corner with no ammo. really sucks and leads to death #2. I really should have picked up more weapons as I went.

0:35 Another death. This is a lot harder with only one ally, and the checkpoint save seems to have left me with only 5 brute shots to start. This is not going to be easy.

0:36 Enough cautious planning ... this time I go in guns blazing. I die much more quickly.

0:37 OK, I finally get some ammo. and make it to an access tunnel that seems to avoid the main enemy force. No light at the end of the tunnel, though... just a huge brute bitch slaps me back to the stone age with a giant club. Oy!

0:40 I'm getting pretty proficient with the plasma pistol. It's quickly becoming my weapon of choice.

0:44 This is getting old. I've now died four times to the same big guy with the energy club at the end of the tunnel. At least this time they restart me at a closer checkpoint. Did the game detect how much I suck and have pity?

0:46 Whoo. I finally beat the guy by drawing him slowly into the tunnels and continually firing as I retreat

0:48 Taking down a turret on the bow of a flying ship = cool. Taking down the whole ship with the help of allies = awesome. Having friendly air support come and take out all the ground enemies = triple awesome.

0:51 We come to a base of some sort. "Tell the commander her ace is in the hole." Dirty!

0:52 Lots of story gets thrown out quickly. We stopped Halo temporarily, but the prophet of truth is looking to launch all the Halo rings which will "destroy every sentient being in the galaxy." Sure... who wouldn't want to do that. The power goes out in the middle of a briefing on our next move. The prophet comes on the screen. "All of you vermin, cowering in the dirt, thinking... what, I wonder. That you might escape the coming fire? No, your world will burn until it's surface is glass... Your destruction is the will of the gods. And I... I am their instrument." Creepy.

0:54 Time to evacuate. "They're requesting a rally point. Where should they go." "To war." Cheesy!

0:55 Back in control. No enemies yet... I get a chance to scope out the lay of the land before the imminent attack. I watch some rats crawling around base... nice touch.

0:57 So they entered through the hangar. My allies tell me to go help fend them off. Great! Er, where's the hangar, again?

0:58 "The marines downstairs could use your help." But they told me to come up here! Ah, an on-screen arrow points the way to the hangar door

1:00 OK, I went through the door and found an empty corridor that seem to be a dead end. A voice in my ear tells me I need to clear the hangar. I'd love to! Really, I would! Help me!

1:03 Finally, stumbled upon the hangar and a few short bursts of action. Feels pretty similar to the jungle battles, though. Is this all there is to the game?

Would I play this game for more than an hour? Yes
Why? There have been some awesome moments and amazing-looking environments, even though it's already getting a bit repetitive and it's not really my style of game.

This review based on a retail copy provided by Microsoft, and an Xbox 360 borrowed from a friend. Thanks again Mike.

BioShock

Developer: 2K Boston
Publisher: 2K Games
Release Date: Aug. 21, 2007
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PC
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: Ayn Rand meets underwater FPS.

0:01 The Hard difficulty level is disabled initially. You gotta prove yourself first, I guess. Kind of annoying.
0:02 "They told me, son, you're special. You were born to do great things. You know what, they were right." Screams, then the title, drenched in water. I'm hooked already.
0:03 I'm drowning? A purse floats into view. Then a plane fuselage. I surface to find flaming wreckage. I also find I can move, which is surprising, becauseI could've sworn this amazing reflected fire on the water was pre-rendered.
0:05 I swim towards a big piece of fuselage and it explodes. I seem to be OK, but the spluttering coming from my speakers indicates otherwise.
0:06 I watch what looks like the tail of a plane sinking below the water. Splashing looks a little fake, but that's really nitpicking.
0:07 I finally make it to land. I walk about as fast as I swim, which is to say, rather fast. I enter a castle that reminds me of Myst and the lights go out as the door closes behind me. A crimson banner reads: "No gods or kings. Only man." Ayn Rand, eat your heart out.
0:08 A plaque: "In what country is there a place for people like me?" -Andrew Ryan. Heady stuff. A lonely violin in the background plays in the distance: "Somewhere, beyond the sea..." Creepy.
0:09 The lights come on as I climb down the stairs and enter a bathysphere. A filmstrip plays. "Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow." Andrew Ryan rails on about Washington and the Vatican. "I chose Rapture." The filmstrip falls away to a breathtaking oceanic view. "Rapture can become your city as well." Thanks!
0:11 The atmosphere is so thick I'm almost choking. Neon signs, aquatic sea life, and more drift past my window. The scene is unfortunately broken by a ten-second loading screen.
0:12 I watch helplessly by flickering light as a man gets ripped apart by another with a scythe. "Is it someone new?" The killer lets out a blood-curdling scream. The bathysphere shakes among electrical crackling and scratching. I want my mommy.
0:13 Back in full control, I pick up a radio. Atlas, my new guide, says he "aims to keep me alive." Well isn't that nice. I have to get to higher ground. "Take a deep breath and step out of the bathysphere." Do I have to? I'm still a-scareded.
0:15 Placards strewn about the floor: "Rapture is Dead." "Let it end, let us ascend." "Ryan doesn't own us." Intriguing. A sign on the wall says all bathysphere travel is forbidden. Whoops. Sorry about that.
0:17 The scythe-wiedling maniac gets gunned down by some automatic defenses. Atlas blames it on the "damn splicers" or somthing. I turn on the subtitles so I don't miss a word. "Would ya please find a crowbar or something," Atlas asks. Gladly!
0:19 Only now does the real tutorial begin. I get a wrench and learn how to swing it and crouch. A flaming couch greets me as a I crawl through an opening. Eep!
0:20 My first fight with a screaming "thuggish splicer." He looks like a zombie. It's over quickly. Some little girl is talking about fire creepily in the background. An old advertisement, perhaps? The splicer is still twitching on the ground. Ew.
0:22 I've always wondered why eating potato chips and candy bars gives you more health in video games. In my experience, those things harm your health.
0:24 Practically everything that isn't nailed down reacts to a swing of the wrench. The little things matter!
0:25 Signs describe plasmids as "evolution in a bottle." That's not creepy at all...
0:26 I inject a plasmid and fall to the floor as my "genetic code is being rewrtitten." Some guys in masks walk by and decide I'm not worth the trouble. A guy in an old diving suit clambers by with a little girl. Weird.
0:27 I wake up to find I can shoot lightning from my left hand. Cool!
0:31 I take down my second splicer using the "zap 'em and whack 'em" one-two punch suggested by Atlas. Easy peasy.
0:33 Atlas tells me a sob story. "I know you must feel like the unluckiest man in the world right now, but you're my only hope..." Gotta go to Neptune's bounty to rescue his family. I guess I owe him, but altruism is weak.
0:34 Creepy! A mom with some sort of antennae on her head cries over a stroller. I approach and she lunges at me with a shotgun, screaming "Baby and me! Baby and me!" I'm practically shaking as I take her out. Atlas tells me the plasmids did this. Is this going to happen to me?
0:35 There's a revolver in the basonet. Just when you thought it couldn't get creepier.
0:36 Signs advertise the Rapture Masquerade Ball for the new year 1959.
0:37 I take out a couple of arguing splicers, one of whom has a shotgun.
0:38 Drinking two bottle of merlot in a row makes me tipsy. Whoda thunk it?
0:41 The cigarettes are called "Nico Time." I laughed.
0:43 It's a little annoying you can't seem to save any items for later. On the other hand, it streamlines things quite a bit. No stalling in inventory screens.
0:44 I find an impromptu shrine to Andrew Ryan, who created this underwater hellscape. I smash the picture. It's surprisingly cathartic.
0:47 I gt a new flamethrowing ability. "Light up foes to 1000 degrees. Warning, fire spreads!"
0:48 So far the foes have been pretty easy. They just lunge at me and I shock-and-drop. The game has been very friendly with health and power ups too.
0:50 Atlas tells me about the "little sisters": little girls who have the DNA that helps keep rapture running. He tells me to throw out whatever I thought about right and wrong. Looks like he's setting me up for some little girl slaughtering later on.
0:51 I watch through glass as someone goes after a little sister and is quickly and mercilessly slaughtered by a "big daddy" in a huge shambling diving suit.
0:52 A sign: "Eve's garden, come bite the apple."
0:53 The women seem much tougher to kill than the men. Interesting.
0:54 I set off a security alert without knowing how or why. I take out a security bot with a lightning bolt and then attempt to hack it with a mini-game. It's Pipe Dream! I used to love this game. Now the bot helps me take out his brethren.
0:59 This is getting a little annoying. I keep setting off security alert with no warning and no apparent reason. Meanwhile, "atruism is the root of all wickedness," according to a sign.
1:02 I set off another secuirty alert, this one with a flame thrower. Three splicers come out at me and catch me off guard. My first death,and a good place to stop, I guess.

Would I play this game for more than an hour? Oh hell yes.
Why? Humminah humminah humminah humminah (The excellent atmosphere, story, controls and concept have left me speechless).

This review based on a demo version downloaded from Xbox Live.

Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter 2

Developer: Ubisoft Paris
Publisher: Ubisoft
Release Date: March 6, 2007
Systems: PS3 (reviewed), Xbox 360, Wii, PSP, PC
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: Fight the Future.

0:01 We're at the El Paso border in Texas. Everything is very brown. Some guy gets blown up. And... title! Not bad for an intro.
0:03 I read through the hints and tips, but I have no idea what it's talking about. I hope it'll become clear when I'm actually in there.
0:04 The control screen is a mess of options. Every single button is used, some for multiple things. Oh, for a keyboard.
0:07 My airborne drone spots a couple of soldiers just past a ridge. But a soldier has to go in and take them out. Can't the drone drop a bomb or something?
0:09 Clicking in the right stick give a nice zoomed in view. It's nice seeing an outline of the enemy even behind cover. Futuristic!
0:10 I get spotted for a second when I stick my head out from behind cover. One well placed shot and it's game over. Is it weird that I find it weird that one bullet can kill me?
0:12 The whole enviornment shakes when bullets hit the wall in front of me. Too bad the PS3 controller can't shake too (ZING!).
0:14 Pinned down, I desperately try some grenades. No. 1 makes them scatter. No. 2 blows up in my face. D'oh!
0:18 No matter how careful I am, I keep getting spotted. And it's six against one. What chance do I have?
0:21 Apparently I have a pretty good chance, if I just go around the sides and slowly and pick them off from the edges. Being able to see their outline through walls is a big advantage.
0:24 A M.U.L.E. brings me new weapons and news of the war zone. It all feels kind of clinical and lonely. Where's the rest of the war? And why am I shooting these people?
0:25 I like guiding the armored M.U.L.E. with just a button press. It goes wherever I'm looking. Intuitive and useful.
0:30 This new sniper rifle seems a bit unfair. Not only can I pinpoint an enemy from dozens of yards away, but it can shoot them through thin walls. I mean, what chance does an enemy of America have?
0:34 After taking out some random foreigners with the supergun, I finally get to choose some teammates.
0:37 Now this is more like it. Taking mortar fire from all sides, I order my team to some cover and take out two lonely fighter guarding the next checkpoint. The team controls are surprisingly easy to get used to -- just a click on the d-pad and they move intelligently.
0:39 Whoops, looks like those lonely guys had company. I get quickly overwhelmed
0:44 I'm finally really getting into a firefight -- ordering shots, taking out guys in helicopters, etc. -- and then the demo just ends! What a gyp!

Would I play this game for more than an hour 44 minutes? Yes
Why? It's a first person shooter game that I don't totally suck at... yet.

This review based on a demo version downloaded from the PlayStation Network

Red Steel

Developer: Ubisoft Paris
Publisher: Ubisoft
Release Date: Nov. 19, 2006
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: T

In a nutshell: Red = blood. Steel = swords and guns.

0:01 The intro screen has you pick up a "New Profile" ticket and drag it on to a panel. Um, why can't I just click the A button?
0:03 "Look at these fish Scott, aren't they pretty." As opening lines go, there are worse. Not that I can think of any at the moment.
0:04 The entire game industry seems enamored with these comic-book panel cut scenes at the moment. The voice acting is pretty good, but the writing is a little too expository for my tastes.
0:06 The subtitles don't translate the Japanese speech, just transliterate it.
0:07 Someone just shot my girlfriend's dad and we're ready for action! I don't have a gun yet, so there's not much I can do but listen to the pleas of my girlfriend as she's taken off.
0:09 My character's arm moves along with the aiming reticle. Very distracting. I like using a push of the Nunchuk to push stuff over/open.
0:10 My first firefight. The aiming with the remote is a little tough to get used to. When you aim too far left or right, the screen jerks to that side. Why can't reticle just stay in the middle of the screen as your view moves?
0:12 Being able to lock the camera on enemies is a nice touch. It keeps the camera steady but still requires you to aim. Pushing the remote in and out to zoom is awkward.
0:15 Pet peeve #1: If I'm not active shot for about 5 seconds I seem to regain all my health. Takes away lots of the tension.
0:17 "You can only carry two weapons at a time." That's bull. I could stuff at least 5 guns in my pants. Er, don't ask me how I know that.
0:18 Nice of them to give me unlimited Uzi ammo to shoot up the stockroom. Seriously, it's fun.
0:21 I take out three guys with guns blazing and end up on the brink of death. But after I stand in a corner for five seconds, I'm good as new.
0:25 I regain my health once or twice in the middle of a firefight, I regain my health twice. Can I at least turn this effect down or something? i can't seem to keep remote pointed at screen, or aim with consistency.
0:29 And with the push of an elevator button, the first mission ends a bit anticlimactically. My accuracy was awful, but my zero respect points earned me an A. Wha?
0:30 "A sword? Here? Take it!" A plot device? Here? Take it!
0:31 "Watch out for his attacks. Try to dodge them, left or right." Thanks, Obvious-Man!
0:33 The dodging controls are decent enough, but I can't get the game to register my swings. Also, I can't fight the nagging feeling that I could just, um, shoot the guy with my gun. We are fleeing for our lives here... who cares about the honorable thing to do?
0:36 The defensive controls seem to work great in sword fighting, but I can't seem to get the slashes to register most of the time.
0:37 I decide not to kill the guy and get 50 "respects" I didn't know you could pluralize that word.
0:43 Upon walking into an empty room. "Kuso... they're everywhere." Uh... does this guy have early onset dementia or something?
0:44 "A sword and a gun brought me back... not prayers." Uh, don't mention the guy wielding the sword and gun or anything. "This suite might not hold them off long." Does the suite have some sort of laser defense?
0:48 You might think defending a suite against dozens of intruders for 200 seconds is hard. You'd be wrong. It's easy... as long as you have a couch to hide behind to "catch your breath."
0:50 The graphics are a bit reminiscent of GoldenEye on the N64 with a little more polish.
0:51 The piano makes hilariously pathetic noises when you shoot it. The little things matter!
0:53 I'm actually moderately impressed by the enemy AI. They move between cover and don't expose themselves very much. Too bad it's so easy to restore health, or it might be a bit of a challenge.
0:55 The background singers repeat " I see... you very gooooood" over and over until I want to shoot myself. Also, what's with cricket chirping noises every few steps?
0:58 These sword fights are ridiculously easy. Half the time I don't even have to block or dodge, I just slash them. Oh, and after five gut shots from a sword, my health is just fine. Thanks for asking.

Would I play this game for more than an hour? No
Why? Annoying controls, generic, repetitive gameplay and an overly forgiving health system.

This review is based on a retail copy provided by Nintendo.

Warhawk (PS3)

Developer: Incognito
Publisher: SCEA
Release Date: Sept. 4, 2007
System: PS3
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Fly around and shoot stuff. Then go on the ground and shoot stuff more.

0:01 The booming opening score seems more appropriate for Saving Private Ryan than some highly stylized war shooter.
0:03 Connected to a random server and loading.
0:04 My speakers are filled with garbled British voices. Also: Any game that onyl takes thirty seconds to give me a flamethrower is ok in my book.
0:06 Flamethrower vs. Jeep. Jeep wins.
0:08 I come across a guy in a turret. I get killed as I try to get in.
0:09 I get shot down just before I get in flamethrower range. I REALLY want to kill someone with this thing!
0:10 Everyone's in a Warhawk but me. I can't figure out how to get in.
0:13 Here's the problem: you're supposed to hit square, not circle, to get in the plane. They look exactly alike in the on-screen instructions.
0:15 I finally get in a Warhawk, but I can't figure out how to use the motion controls real well. Then the server gets disconnected. Just as well -- I had zero kills.
0:16 An 8-person server seemed quite empty. Let's see the action with 32 people.
0:18 Now we're talking. I figure out how to get out of hover mode and really fly the plane! Then I get shot down with a missile almost immediately.
0:20 I finally shoot someone with the flamethrower. It's my teammate, who then gets blown up but good by a plane. I'm next.
0:22 I somehow kill myself with a flamethrower. The other guy doesn't have a scratch. What in the world?
0:25 I die again and have no idea how. This seems to be a constant. But now I know what team I'm on. I think.
0:26 That's some pretty smoke... from my charred plane wreckage
0:29 I';m being driven around in a tank by a stranger. Then we both get blown up together
0:31 I finally get an intentional kill. A ground troop with a rocket launcher! Whoo! Fun!
0:32 The ever present garbled audio speech is getting REALLY annoying.
0:33 Our team loses, no doubt I didn't help matters. But I'm finally getting the hang of how things work.
0:37 Flying around and doing loops with the sticks is really fun, but only useful for avoiding lock-ons. I still can't seem to actually hit anything when I'm in the plane.
0:43 The guy driving my tank just crashed into a pole.
0:46 Why does R2 accelerate the car a car. Why can't I push forward to go forward? Three different control schemes for three different vehicles is not exactly intuitive.
0:48 Overheard on the chat channel: "We have to own the never to have them own... not us."
0:49 Driving my jeep into the ocean is the best action I can get. Where is everyone?
0:52 Jeep vs. tank = Tank wins.
0:58 Our team wins! I think I did something to help, but I really can't be sure.

Would I play this game for more than an hour: Probably
Why? It took me an hour just to figure out how everything worked. It'll take at least another to figure out if the game is any fun.

This review is based on an early, public beta version of the game provided by Sony.

Halo 3

Developer: Bungie
Publisher: Microsoft
Release Date: Sept. 25, 2007
System: Xbox 360

In a nutshell: Shoot people. Don't get shot.

0:01 Aw, the development team signed the loading screen "Love, Bungie." I think I'm tearing up.
0:10 I freaking hate sniper rifles! I almost got a single kill during an intense firefight around an ice pillar. Then some guy kills me from miles away. Story of my life. Also, looking at your own shadow is freaking awesome!
0:20 Match 2 over. Four kills. NOT LAST place! Aiming seems kind of important. Maybe I should work on that. Stop calling me a killjoy, game!
0:30 It occurs to me that the other people playing this game in the middle of the day probably have enough free time to put in a lot more practice than I have. Thus I rationalize yet another crappy performance.
0:40 The feeling of zooming in on a guys face and putting a sniper bullet between his eyes as he charges blindly towards you is not to be undersold.
0:50 My singular goal in life is now to kill someone with the spartan laser.
1:00 After years in the dark, I finally understand the big deal about dual wielding. It got me three freaking kills in a row, and six total! I'm almost a pro!

Would I play this game for more than an hour: Maybe.
Why? Still gotta get that laser kill, but I can't see myself putting in the hours to actually become good enough to hold my own at multiplayer.

This review is based on an early multiplayer public beta version of the game.