Monster Hunter Freedom Unite

Developer: Capcom

Publisher: Capcom

Release Date: June 23, 2009

System: PSP

ESRB Rating: T

Official Web site

In a nutshell: Training to be a Monster Hunter is long, boring work.

0:00 This is like the PSP's answer to Pokemon, right? And the Japanese love it just as much as Pokemon? I'm not really a big fan of the Pokemon games, but this one has been sitting on my shelf for way too long, and it deserves its fair shake.

0:01 After a bit of loading, a tarp goes up at a makeshift campsite. Long pan over a suit of armor. A knight pounds a tent post into the ground as an ambulatory, human-sized cat carries some cloth in the background. A large beast grazes lazily in a field. The knight wipes his brow, dons a suit of armor, and takes a pickaxe to a rock wall. He trades the mined gems for some metal, then takes them to a blacksmith to be pounded in to armor. BORING! Where's the ACTION?!

0:03 The knight reads a map and buys some dragon meat to carve into a ridiculously oversized sword of some sort. Now a trio of soldiers is running out of the forest, tailed by a big dragon. The dragon trips as the soldiers fire makeshift bazookas, taking him down. An old woman sews the dragon hide and makes a nice vest and headscarf to go under the armor. A trumpet fanfare plays as we zoom in on the dark heart of the forest, where a black beast with glowing red eyes lunges. Title! The opening did a good job establishing the world...

0:05 Backround loading is set to "off" by deafult in the options. Who thought THAT was a good idea?

***-->CONTINUE READING AT<--***

***-->JOYSTICK DIVISION<--***

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Half Minute Hero

Developer: Marvelous Entertainment
Publisher: XSEED Entertainment
Release Date: Oct. 13, 2009
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: An RPG without all the things that make RPGs bad.

0:00 I somehow missed this game at E3 (I must have been sleeping), but the concept tickled me. I hate a lot of things about RPGs, but the one thing I hate most is the glacial pacing. If a whole quest is really condensed into 30 seconds, I might actually like this one!

0:01 Rain on a field. "Will this war ever end?" reads ornate white text on a black background. "The clock is ticking on the 500-year struggle between the humans and the Evil Lords. A spell to end the world in 30 seconds." Detailed anime drawings are cut together quickly with super-zoomed, pixilated versions of the same characters, all flying by too quick to really make anything out. Fade to black, then back up with epic organ music and '80s-metal guitar music. The title appears over a rolling pixilated landscape. Reminds me of the airship from Final Fantasy III a bit.

0:03 Story mode is "The story of a 500-year-long battle between the forces of good and evil. Is there no end to this war?" Reads to me like a subtle jab at the length of other RPGs. But maybe I'm just hearing what I want to hear...

0:04 I can choose Hero 30, Evil Lord 30 or Princess 30. I'll start with Hero, which takes place in "Goddess Era 100." Normal or Hard difficulty ... let's go with Normal until I figure out what the hell is going on.

0:05 I can rename my hero, whose default name is ... Hero. Seems appropriate...

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Hot PXL

Developer: zSlide
Publisher: Atari
Release Date: Oct. 2, 2007
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Yo yo yo what up mah homiez, this be a tight-ass mini-game collection in the HIZZZ-OOOOOOOOUSE! Word.

0:00 I'm an unapologetic fan of WarioWare-style mini-game collections, so this Atari offering of 200 of the things had me intrigued. Not intrigued enough to check it out in the last two years it's been out, but still intrigued enough to put it in my GameFly queue.

0:01 A smiling pixel man in a red shirt and a red-and-yellow ball cap greets me. There's a pyramid of odd pixel people in the background, including one that seems to be a hamburger. Logos erupt in pixilated thunder, then a menu screen shows the guy in the hat with a girl in one corner and a purple monster in another. The Episodes option lets me "Unlock the 10 episodes of PXL lifestyle," whatever that means.

0:02 I choose Normal difficulty in front of a desert that contains an orange sky, a green cactus and a black monster that reminds me of a Troggle. A desert, a cactus and ... a big black thing. Episode 1 is "Underground." A fast-paced video tells me "How to play how Hot PXL!"1. Get what to do. (Via on-screen text.) 2. Find how to do it. Use the analog stick or directional buttons. Press buttons. Or try anything else! (Um, what else is there?) 3. Finally perform! Ready?" I guess so? I don't remember WarioWare needing a video like this.

0:03 Inexplicably, the game leads off with a short video of an old white guy in hip-hop garb coming out of a bunker and blowing dust off a record. Umm...

0:04 The first game just tells me to "Shoot." At first I think the tiny blue box is a target reticle. Nope, it's a ship that shifts left and right. X shoots two shots that take out two black squares up at the top of the screen. A between-game stat box tells me I'm "still on track to perfect." Er, thanks!

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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WTF: Work Time Fun

Developer: SCEJ
Publisher: D3 Publisher
Release Date: Oct. 16, 2006
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: What if they made a game that tried its best NOT to be fun...?
0:00 Comparisons to the WarioWare series had me seeking this one out, but just as a rental. Doesn't sound deep enough to warrant a purchase, based on what I've read.

0:01 There's a large, yawning cat behind the standard screen telling me not to remove the memory card. I press X and a low, distorted announcer's voice screams "WORK TIME FUN!" The screaming guy in the background reminds me of Dr. Tran.

0:02 The default character name is "WTF Jr." I wonder how many people actually choose that name. Also, there's a "?" option for gender. That's ... inclusive, I guess. The game also asks for my blood type. I don't even know!

0:03 An old-fashioned LED message board on a silver background. "You've got mail," says the voice. It's from "WTF Net." They're here to provide support for my e-mail. Um, good to know?

0:04 To the Placement Office we go. A blue-faced demon in a robe carries a beer. "Hey! Did you eat lunch? All right, now get to work," he says. In the background, sounds of whips and screaming. Holy f***, this game is messed-UP!

0:05 Traffic Counter is the first game. "Count the people who appear from left and right. You'll lose if you count anything other than a person." Thrilling...

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Rock Band Unplugged

Developer: Backbone Entertainment
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Release Date: June 9, 2009
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Freq-Rock-uency Band-plitude

0:00 I loved Harmonix's Frequency and Amplitude, which inspired the gameplay here, and the Rock Band games, which inspired the look and song selection, so this one should be a slam dunk for me.

0:01 Loading, logos, then a simple title screen with some rotating ... stuff in the background.

0:02 Controls explained: left and up on the d-pad for red/yellow notes, triangle and circle for the green and blue notes. Not a bad setup ... more symmetrical than the three-track setup in the earlier games.

0:03 I'll skip the training and go straight to the Tour. The game gives me the random band name "Metro Wheelie," which is so awesome I don't even change it.

0:04 Only four hometowns available to choose from? What a gyp. San Fran it is, I guess. The game generates a band with Justin, Chandra, Chuck and Frank. They look decent enough and I don't want to waste time editing them, so let's go.

0:05 "Congratulations! Your band has been offered a gig at Alice's Free Love Cafe! Welcome to the wonderful world of touring!" Man, that's a lot of exclamation points!

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Resistance: Retribution

Developer: Sony Bend
Publisher: SCEA
Release Date: March 17, 2009
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Oh look, another Chimera to auto-aim at.

0:00 I'm really interested to see how the intensely detailed PS3 dual-stick shooter makes the conversion to the diminutive, less powerful handheld.

0:01 The title appears over a yellowed map of Europe and a skull and crossbones, only the crossbones aren't crossbones ... they're GUNS! YIKES!

0:02 Looks like the face buttons take the place of the second analog stick. I'm not fully convinced this'll work well. My fresh-faced protagonist looks out, rifle in hand, as I choose "Campaign" from the menu. I'm constantly amazed that a portable system can turn out 3-D graphics like these.

0:03 I choose Normal difficulty because I don't wanna be a wuss. "I had heard of Grayson, of course," says an unseen narrator. "Everyone had, in those days leading up to the fall of the London tower." One night in Manchester, Grayson's life changed forever. We see a mutant tower over a human on a slab. "We got a live one here. No. No, Johnny. No! Johnny..." Grayson's brother has been "changed." "We can't let him live." Bang! Bro's death sent Grayson over the edge, apparently. He deserted and tried to destroy conversion centers on his own. Months later, at the trials, he found "the law makes no exception" for desertion.

0:06 Grayson would have died in prison except for the intervention of ... Raine Bouchard, of the French Maquis. She wants help taking out a Chimera Tower in Paris. "Taking orders from frogs and a broad. No thanks, sister?" he says in his best "Rebel Without a Cause" impression. "So you lost your family," Bouchard responds. "Look around, we all lost family." Decent writing and presentation, here.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Crimson Gem Saga

Developer: IRONNOS Software
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: May 26, 2009
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Wins the coveted "Most frequent use of the word 'salutatorian' in an RPG" award.

0:00 I know next to nothing about this game, but based on the title I'm guessing it's either a match-three puzzle game or an overwrought RPG. Or both! I don't know which option scares me most.

0:01 Loading, creating a save file, more loading, some logos and then snow falling on what looks like an anime graduation ceremony. Up above, an elf with pink hair watches as a blimp flies over the town. The title appears to the strains of elegant flutes. A blonde ponytailed woman kneels before a king. A goateed man stands illuminated by lightning. Knights draw their swords. A guy with a hammer swings with abandon at some bad guys. A redheaded boy summons a fireball. A girl on horseback runs from a boulder. A fistfight in the rain. A hand reaches for a falling girl. The music stops suddenly as doves fly in front of a temple. Cut to a slowly rotating crimson gem. The title appears again! Whew!

0:04 "History had all but forgotten it ... a power from a forgotten empire that threatened the world. It was said to hold the ability to control all of creation. After a millennium, it stirs once again." Snooze! Wake me when something original happens.

0:05 "I have no choice left. This is my only option," says a regal-looking, white-bearded fellow standing before the crimson gem. "The world will be in ruins if this power falls into the wrong hands." He offers up a young child, who gets sucked into the gem in a blaze of white light. "Prologue." What the...?

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Patapon 2

Developer: Pyramid/Japan Studio
Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment
Release Date: May 5, 2009
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Chaka-pata-pon-pata-chaka-pata-pata-chaka-pon-pon-pata-GET-OUT-OF-MY-HEAD

0:00 I somehow resisted the buzz surrounding the original, despite my love for all things rhythmic and cute. I played this sequel for roughly five seconds at CES, and it left me with a desire to play more. Will I feel the same way after an hour? Let's see.

0:01 When I bring up the Patapon icon on the PSP menu, I hear the cutest little nonsense rap from what sounds like a chorus of kids: "Pata-pata-pata ... PON! Jan-J-Jan-J-Jan-Jan!" I scroll up and down to listen to it over and over! CUTE!

0:02 Breathy didgeridoo music mixes with the same chorus of kids singing "Pata" over and over. A little black ... limbed ... eyeball ... thing carrying a HUGE axe brings it down, bringing up the title screen as he does. Now the music is vibrant with Patapons singing gibberish (and maybe some Japanese)? Reminds me of the beginning of LocoRoco a LOT!

0:04 A bunch of the tiny black eyeballs with limbs are fixing up a ship. They bravely set off on a voyage, hitting storms and rough seas and such, but they refuse to give up, according to the overly quick text. Then, after 49 days and 49 nights, a giant squid brings the ship down. "Their fate unknown, what will happen to the Patapons now?" They'll all die. The end!

0:05 Not really. Instead, I get to read the Patapon Oath. "I hereby pledge to honor and keep my promise to the Great Leader of the Patapons and help them reach Earthend." And et cetera and so on. I sign with the X button and we're off!

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Secret Agent Clank

Developer: High Impact Games
Publisher: SCEA
Release Date: June 17, 2008
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: E-10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: The game most likely to get Johnny Rivers' "Secret Agent Man" stuck in my head.

0:00 I've liked pretty much every Ratchet and Clank game so far, including the the other one on the PSP. Still, I hope this one deviates from the formula a little bit.

0:01 Tiny robot Clank stands on the street in a tuxedo and sunglasses, reading a newspaper. He occasionally looks up, like he's expecting trouble. I press start and the scene changes to a static menu with a picture of Clank. So what was the point of that newspaper scene?

0:02 A ship flies through the bluish-blackness of space, no doubt to hide the loading time. The Boltaire Museum is the destination, on a purple-ringed planet. Cut to the roof of a building; Clank lowers himself down through a skylight on a tether. An automatic glass cutter makes a circular entrance to the museum proper. Clank spies furry, orange Ratchet in a brown robe. The Lombax gets caught by a laser grid and apprehended by the guards. "Greetings, Agent Clank; were you able to protect the Eye of Infinity?" asks a robot on the ship's viewscreen. No such luck. Cut to a news report that shows Ratchet being taken away in a paddy wagon. He's raving to the cameras in a crazy voice about how he's hidden the Eye of Infinity where no one will find it. A retinal match shows it's actually Ratchet, but Clank doesn't believe it. I don't either...

0:05 Clank jumps out of the ship and is off to look for clues to the Eye's whereabouts. Running around with the analog stick, I stumble into a search beam, sending robotic dogs out to bite at me. A few punches bring 'em down.

0:08 The controls are decent but not great so far ... I don't like how the camera needs constant taps of R and L to stay behind Clank. I also don't like Clank's lack of a double jump. I do like his fluid punch/kick combos when I jam on the attack button.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Prinny: Can I Really be the Hero?

Developer: NIS
Publisher: NIS America
Release Date: Feb. 17, 2009
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Dood, it's, actually kind of easy so far, dood.

0:00 When our own James Fudge called this "one of the hardest games I've played in a long time" and "a hardcore platformer featuring some familiar platforming elements," I knew GameStop was getting my $40.

0:01 The title screen features a large red penguin slashing the title. Dark, tilting windmills are in the background along with some nice peppy violin music.

0:02 The difficulties are "Standard" and "Hell's Finest." Man, they aren't messing around here, are they? Based on James' description, I think I'll stick with Standard, which allows three hits before dying. I can change during play if I pick wrongly, a very nice touch.

0:03 "Oh crap, dood! I'm so late!" says a chirpy voice off-screen. A rotund purple penguin runs in and is taunted by a talking sign: "late late late for your fate fate fate!" Some bombs start falling from the sky and the penguin starts freaking out and rushing towards a castle. I'm loving the expressive animation and hand-drawn sprites.

0:05 Already I'm in control. A sign tells me how to double jump, so I guess we can check off that prerequisite for "good platform game."

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Space Invaders Extreme

Developer: Taito
Publisher: Square Enix
Release Date: June 17, 2008
Systems: PSP (reviewed), DS
ESRB Rating: E

In a nutshell: Space Invaders meets Geometry Wars. Ow, my brains...

0:00 I've never been a huge fan of the original Space Invaders (I was always more of a Galaga man, myself), but I've been hearing good things about this fast-paced, portable remake. Before I even turn on the game I'm entranced by the clear plastic shell for the UMD. Wicked!

0:01 "Taito Corporation. Space Invaders 30th Anniversary. Space Invaders Extreme!" reads a sexy voice right out of the Starship Enterprise. The title screen has a large dancing invader with lines of other invaders across the top and bottom. The logo/title replaces some Es with 3s for no apparent reason. What is this, Driv3r?

0:03 I have a love/hate relationship with games, like this one, that let you preset your starting number of lives in the options screen. I always set it as high as possible, but I always feel bad about it, like I'm cheating somehow.

0:04 "Stage 1, Let's Go," reads the screen. A driving techno beat matches all the crazy, multicolored crap floating around the background. Like the original game, I've still got a little ship at the bottom of the screen, firing up at the slowly encroaching invaders. Luckily, though, the firing rate is much faster. The n-shaped shields from the original are gone, making it feel a lot more like Galaga -- a good thing.

0:05 Power-ups? Really? A blue block floats down from a destroyed invader and gives me a thick blue laser that absolutely EVISCERATES everything. Hoo yeah!

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

LocoRoco 2

Developer: SCEJ
Publisher: SCEA
Release Date: Feb. 10, 2009
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: The cutest game you'll ever watch.

0:00 I played the demo of the first LocoRoco a couple of years ago, and I believe the catchy music is still in my head. I hope LocoRoco 2 is just as catchy but also a bit more involved -- I don't want another screensaver that I can kind-of-sort-of control.

0:01 A floating mass of black dreadlocks with a mouth flies around. A big, yellow LocoRoco falls in and splits into a bunch of smaller version of himself on a green field. The title "LocoRoco" lowers down from above, and a "2" shimmies in from the right. As the menu comes up, the Locos go into autoplay mode, getting shot around, pulled through gears, caught on the wind, landing and tilting a balance, etc. I could watch this all day ... but that would be boring for you guys, wouldn't it?

0:02 A black silhouette of a planet against a starry night. The music gets louder as smoke rises from the planet. A conductor leads a bunch of dreadlocks in a dark melody. A rock launches from the planet and goes zooming into space. Pan to a happy green and blue world. Zoom in to find a blue guy hammering away at a rock, then a lone LocoRoco bouncing around. "I am MuiMui, LocoRoco's friend," says another blue guy in the corner. Thanks for clearing that up!

0:04 Good thing I know the controls from last time, because no one seems very eager to explain how to tilt the world to make me roll, or how to pop it to make me jump. Controls feel a little more responsive than last time, actually. Or maybe it's my imagination.

0:06 As in the last game, collecting orange flowers makes me bigger. A tap of O splits me up into little versions, and holding O brings me back together with cries of "NOI!" SO CUTE! That said, the music isn't nearly as catchy so far.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Buzz! Master Quiz

Developer: Relentless Software
Publisher: Sony
Release Date: Sept. 23, 2008
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: I'm the smartest guy in this whole plane!

0:00 As a trivia nut, I was drawn to the PS2 and PS3 Buzz games. I could never get my friends to feel the same way, though. That doesn't matter for this PSP release, which I'm playing alone amidst a bunch of strangers on an airplane. What the designers intended? I doubt it.

0:01 A decent amount of loading precedes an intro movie, with blonde host Buzz sitting in a chair staring down at a PSP. Ghostly images of sports balls, musical instruments, movie props, etc. hover out of the PSP and dance around Buzz's head. Then a bomb hovers out, exploding and leaving Buzz blackened. HA! Quickly on to a simple title screen with sparse electronic music.

0:02 "Are you on your own, or do you have friends?" asks Buzz on the menu screen. Well, I DO have friends ... they're just not here. Buzz also pipes in on the options screen: "Load and savey-type stuff here!" His over-the-top voice is at least half the appeal of these games.

0:03 On to "Solo Quiz Challenge." I can choose from 10 appropriately stereotypical character types. I almost go for my old standby favorite, the Superhero, but I end up with Napoleon because, let's face it, how many games let you be Napoleon. OK, how many games that aren't in the Civilization series. "IT'S NAPOLEON," cries Buzz, apparently very excited.

0:05 "This is my show and it bears my name. This is Buzz, I am Buzz and soon you will be buzzing. Enough! Let's go!" I agree!

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

echochrome

Developer: SCE Japan
Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment
Release Date: May 1, 2008
Systems: PSP (reviewed), PS3
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: If M.C. Escher made a videogame.
0:00 I've been excited about this one ever since I saw a video of its Escher-like worlds at last year's E3. I got a free copy along with the PSP-3000 Sony sent me a few months back (yeah, I know, my life sucks) but haven't gotten around to playing it until now.

0:01 Some credits go by quickly, then a stark white title screen with some wailing/singing in the background. The protagonist walks around some sample levels. "Knock on the door," the game says. Uh ... does that mean press the X button? Because that's what I did.

0:02 The menu options are Freeform, Atelier, Canvas and Etc. Is this menu the first puzzle? Where's "New Game"?

0:03 I choose Etc. and jump into the tutorial. I think I'm gonna need it for this one ... "Welcome to the world of Echochrome," says a soothing ethereal voice. "In this world, special laws apply." The first is "Perspective Traveling," where you can "change the perspective and connect the path." I move the camera with the analog nub as the protagonist walks forward automatically. Two disjointed platforms suddenly connect when they line up on the 2-D plane of the screen. Did that make sense? This is hard to describe with mere words. I'm loving the gentle violin music.

0:05 "Perspective Existence" lets me cover up gaps and make them into walkable platforms. "You may not be able to see it, but there is a path." Similarly, "Perspective Absence" can cover holes and allow safe passage. "Hide the obstruction and it no longer exists." Very philosophical, for a puzzle game.

0:06 Finally, "Perspective Jump" lets me swing the platform under a jumping guy to catch him. Now I'm into my first real puzzle. "Use the five mysterious laws and create a path." The music sounds like a wailing cat ... in a good way!

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Valhalla Knights 2

Developer: Marvelous Entertainment
Publisher: XSEED Games
Release Date: Oct. 1, 2008
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: E-10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: I'm all for the destruction of the gods who made this game.

0:00 I proudly admit to never having heard of the original Valhalla Knights, much less its sequel, but XSEED Games was kind enough to furnish a copy, so away we go!

0:01 But first I have to update my PSP's firmware. Oh Sony ... you are so ridiculously predictable.

0:03 The reason for the new firmware? "New effects have been added to the visual player under 'Music.'" This is why I'm wasting my time? Really?

0:06 Complete. That was relatively painless, actually, probably because it didn't involve any Internet downloading.

0:07 The title appears over a starry field. "The Day of Judgment." Quick images of ethereal clocks and angel wings. "We saw a goddess descend ... she birthed a foul being upon the world and cursed mankind with despair. The gods have forsaken us." Heady orchestral music. Some crystals explode. Two knights look at each other. Extreme close up on their faces. "All for the sake of destroying the gods." Man ... melodrama much?

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII

Developer: Square Enix
Publisher: Square Enix
Release Date: March 25, 2008
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: A little less conversation, a little more action.

0:00 I'd call myself a fan of Final Fantasy VII, though I'm decidedly not a fanboy. There's an important difference, mainly having to do with cosplay.

0:01 Pan over a beautiful dystopian city as the credits roll. A chopper flies in and someone's running down a corridor. A guy talking in an office. AERIS! OMG! Sephiroth, explosions, an apple, a gun, a swordfight, a horse with armor. More swordfighting, more running, a box labeled "sealed," Aeris kneeling in prayer and... title! Whew! I'm already out of breath.

0:02 Call me a sucker, but the little "bloop" sound effect when moving through the initial menu selector takes me right back to the original FFVII.

0:03 The camera does a long zoom out from a sign for the Shin-Ra Electric Power Company to a bulging tower rising over a dirty, industrial city. "Wutai troops have hijacked the Shinra Express," says a voice over a radio. A helicopter full of SOLDIER, er, soldiers, hovers over the train. "Eliminate them and take control of the train." "Oh yeah!" says Zack, our immaculately coiffed protagonist.

0:05 Zack runs towards the attackers on the roof of the train, blocking bullets with his sword and jumping over an RPG missile in super slow-mo. Just another day at the office. "SOLDIER 2nd class Zack is ON THE JOB!" he says to no one in particular.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Honda Superbike World Championship

Developer: Valcon
Publisher: Milestone
Release Date: March 21, 2008
Systems: PSP (reviewed), PS2
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: A game for superbike superfans only.

0:00 I tend to like bike racing games, and this one sounds positively Super. Eh? Eh?

0:01 "Bikes included in this game may be different from real bikes in performance, shape and color," reads a quick disclaimer. So is there any way in which they're realistic?

0:02 Some grainy video of what looks like a real bike races play through an odd filter. Inappropriate opera music swells in the background. The only exciting part is when the bikers fly off the bikes during the crashes. Otherwise, it's kind of dull to watch.

0:03 Most of this minute spent loading the menu screen. At least there are a couple of pictures of pretty girls to keep me occupied.

0:04 The menu screen features more gratuitous hot girls, along with more decidedly low-res video of bike racers. Points for the effort, though.

0:05 The options screen lets me toggle a wide variety of simulation options, including "launch control system," "manual rider weight" and "motorbike damage." Luckily, I can just pick the "arcade" setting and not worry about poring over the options.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Atari Classics: Evolved

Developer: Stainless Games
Publisher: Atari
Release Date: Nov. 20, 2007
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: I can't really summarize it better than the title.
0:00 I think I've played most of these arcade "classics" at some point during my Chuck E. Cheese-saturated youth, so I'm looking forward to a portable, nostalgic romp. Already, I'm enamored by the clear case that surrounds the UMD disc.

0:01 Nice, simple menu design. First up is Battlezone, which I actually haven't played in the arcades. The game's already making a liar out of me!

0:03 I'm navigating a green field from a first-person perspective. There are some occasional holographic green obstacles, but the field is pretty empty. My vehicle handles like a tank, which I suppose is appropriate.

0:04 In addition to the radar, the HUD tells me when there's an "enemy in front" or an "enemy to right," etc. Good thing, because it's hard to tell the enemy tanks from the regular obstacles.

0:05 The game seems to be sending only one tank at a time, and if they end up behind me, I'm toast. This may have seemed revolutionary when it first came out, but now it just seems kind of dull. I do like the updated techno soundtrack, though.

0:06 There are 11 games to get through, so I've got to keep moving. Millipede is up next. I predict I'm going to miss the arcade game's trackball.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

WipEout Pulse

Developer: Sony Liverpool
Publisher: SCEA
Release Date: Feb. 12
Systems: PSP
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: Fast to the Future

0:00 I haven't played a badly-capitalized WipEout game since XL on the original PlayStation, so this should be a futuristic hover-racing blast from the past.

0:01 Stylistic, computer-styled menus flash by before some relatively standard hovercar porn video. "Welcome to WipEout Pulse," says a computerized voice.

0:04 I end up spending three minutes just sampling the 16 techno tracks in the options screen's Music Playlist. The soundtrack was big reason I got into WipEout originally, even though I don't listen to much techno in everyday life.

0:05 Time to dive into Campaign mode, "The definitive WipEout single-player experience." Definitive? Like there are so many others?

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

God of War: Chains of Olympus

Developer: Ready at Dawn
Publisher: SCEA
Release Date: March 4, 2008
Systems: PSP
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: Madness? THIS! IS! PORTABLE!

0:00 After reading a butt-load of glowingly positive reviews for this game, I feel like I'm going to have my official "game critic club card" revoked if I don't like it. Here's hoping it doesn't come to that.

0:01 This minute spent upgrading my PSP to firmware version 3.80.

0:02 See minute 0:01.

0:03 Here we go! Hero difficulty (Normal)... "Suffering for years, Kratos, the once-great general, now known as the ghost of Sparta, pledged himself to the gods of Olympus. In return, he only hoped to rid himself of the nightmares that had haunted him for far too long." But today, he's been asked to defend Attica from the Persian army. In other words, here's a bit of unnecessary story, now GO FIGHT. As should be the case in a game like this.

0:05 The first thing that strikes me about the game is how pretty it looks for a PSP game. The second thing is how long Kratos' Blades of Chaos are. They can reach, like, two times his height. Good gravy.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer