Super Meat Boy

Developer: Team Meat

Publisher: Team Meat
Release Date: Oct. 20, 2010
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PC, Mac, Wii
ESRB Rating: Teen
Official Web site

In a nutshell: There’s meat juice EVERYWHERE!

0:00 I’ve been looking forward to this self-described “tough as nails platformer” (according to the XBLA download description) for what seems like years, ever since I played the Newgrounds-hosted original Meat Boy to death. I expect great things.

0:01 “This is Meat Boy." He’s a square blob of meat with stubby arms and legs and a face. "This is bandage girl. (She loves meat boy and Meat Boy loves her). This is Dr. Fetus.” He’s a small fetus in a thick robot. “No one loves Dr. Fetus. And that's why Dr. Fetus hates you. But most of all, Dr. Fetus hates Meat Boy. So he beat Meat Boy up and kidnapped Bandage Girl. ...So go save her, hero." It’s all told via plain text and cute old-timey black-and-white animation. Short and sweet... just like an intro. story should be.

0:02 The hard guitar background loop on the title screen reminds me of a 16-bit game. The first level is “CH1: The Forest.” The world map Meat Boy is standing on has a grimacing face on it. It’s.. disturbing.

0:03 A short cut scene apes the opening to Street Fighter II by showing Dr. Fetus punching Bandage Girl before panning up to show the title.The first level is titled “Hello World.” Ha... programmer humor.

0:04 The first level is over in literally seconds as I wall jump up to Bandage Girl, sitting all alone on a wide ledge. As I reach her, Dr. Fetus warps in, punches her, and takes her away again. I wasted a bit of time trying to decipher the animated pictograms explaining the controls. Not that I needed them... they’re immediately familiar from the Newgrounds game. Everything looks so much better on my big HD screen, though.

0:05 Level 2 teaches me what I already know about wall jumps, and about how to run by holding the X button. I love the sticky-yet-slidey physics when Meat Boy hugs the wall just before doing his super-floaty jump away. As in N+, climbing a single wall using the wall jump is pretty easy.

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Dead Rising: Case Zero

Developer: Capcom

Publisher: Capcom

Release Date: Sept. 28, 2010

System: Xbox 360

ESRB Rating: M

Official Web site

In a nutshell: Beats paying $60 to try out the full game, but doesn't beat paying $0 for a demo.

0:00 I shelled out the five bucks to download this one after hearing from a few sources that it was much more than just a demo for Dead Rising 2. I played the Wii's "Chop 'Till You Drop" version of the original game, which left me a little bit wanting.

0:01 Lots of logos, then a plain title screen quickly fades to a gas station with shambling zombies. "THIS AREA OBSERVED BY COMMUNITY WATCH CITIZENS" says a green street sign. I guess they're watching the zombies shamble all over their community, then?

0:03 My wife, watching from the couch: "This isn't Left 4 Dead? I mean it looks like Left 4 Dead. Not just because it has zombies, but the style too." My wife is very perceptive.

0:04 Some decently long loading precedes a shot of an open road. "This is Rebecca Chang reporting live from outside Las Vegas," says a tinny radio voice. The zombie outbreak has left 100,000 dead and one million may be infected. The military has set up a 50-mile perimeter outside the city, and they have shoot-to-kill orders. So... things are bad, then.

0:05 A guy gets out of a beat up pickup truck. The lettering on his orange shirt reads "IJIEK" for some reason. He walks over to gas pump cautiously and starts filling up. Personally, I'm shocked the pumps still work in the middle of a zombie apocalypse...

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Xbox Live Indie Game Demo Extravaganza

Developer: Various

Publisher: Various

Release Date: Various

System: Xbox 360

ESRB Rating: N/A

Official Web site

In a nutshell: Who knew there was more to Xbox's Indie Games than awkward conversations with girls?

0:00 Here's the situation... I have exactly 720 Microsoft Points burning a hole in my digital wallet, but none of the current selections on Xbox Live Arcade seem that appealing. So I'm going to spend the hour wading into the untamed wilderness of the Xbox Live Indie Games section. Since I have no idea which Indie Games are good, I'm going to blaze through as many of the top 20 customer-rated demos I can in the hour, to determine which ones deserve part of my $9. Enough talk, let's roll.

0:02 I've actually heard of the top rated game, "I MAED A GAM3 W1TH Z0MB1ES 1N IT!!!1" My only instructions: "IT'S A TW1N ST1CK SH00R3R" Immediately I'm entranced by the self-referential theme song. "Welcome to my game. I put zombies in it... for your pain." Ha!

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Mega Man 10

Developer: Capcom

Publisher: Capcom

Release Date: March 1, 2010

Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), Wii, PS3

ESRB Rating: E

Official Web site

In a nutshell: It's been a while since I threw a controller through a TV, but it might not be too much longer...

0:00 I loved Mega Man 2 and 3 when I played them obsessively on the NES. I loved Mega Man X on the SNES. I loved most of the Mega Man games I played on the PS2's Anniversary Collection. I loved Mega Man 9 last year. I loved the quick demo of Mega Man 10 I got at the Consumer Electronics Show. I fully expect to love this game.

0:01 Mega Man's sister Roll rolls in. "I'm home." "There you are roll. Are you OK?" asks the kindly Dr. Light. "I dunno, I think I have a fever." She blacks out and Light explains that she "has come down with Roboenza. From what I can tell the virus only affects robots." Well, with a name like Roboenza, the robot-exclusivity isn't all that surprising...

0:02 So in 20XX, Roboenza is an all-out robot pandemic, and the humans can't figure out a cure (or even "perform simple tasks") without the aid of their robot helpers. OH CRUEL IRONY! Oh, and a month later the infected robots go crazy and try to take over the world. Of course.

0:03 Dr. Wily crash lands in his classic UFO, which Mega Man catches for some reason. "One of those infected robots went crazy. I've spent the last few days studying this roboenza. But even my genius was unable to find a cure." Long story short, he needs help finding pieces to his medicine-making machine and putting them back together. Mega Man volunteers, of course, and gets an offer of help from the mysterious Proto Man on the way out. "Let's do this." And the title screen appears, with Mega Man and Proto Man in partial shadow. Nice old school music.

0:04 Based on the character select screen, Proto Man has the classic slide, a chargable shot, and his shield can deflect bullets. Mega Man has none of that stuff. So why would anyone choose Mega Man? Ah... "Clearing the game in [Proto Man] mode will not be reflected in the leaderboards." That's OK... I'm not going for leaderboarding. That is so a word!

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Fret Nice

Developer: Pieces Interactive

Publisher: Tecmo

Release Date: Feb. 17, 2010

System: Xbox 360

ESRB Rating: E

Official Web site

In a nutshell: For want of a jump button, the rhythm platformer was lost.

0:00 If there are two genres I love above all others, they are rhythm games and platform games. Since Fret Nice supposedly melds these two genres, my expectations are quite high.

0:01 Catchy, robo-techno music plays as a misshapen hand cranks up an amp. "The vibrant Chordmasters rock the world" say the newspaper headline. But a guy with a mustache and a black hat doesn't seem to like their music. He sends bulbous black monsters (that look stolen straight from Loco Roco) from the Heavy Metal Kingdom to cause havoc in town. Cool-looking teens cower in fear, but then two little kids -- who I assume are The Chordmasters -- come blasting in from the sky. They pose in a streetlight and push away the darkness. I already love the music, even though I can't make out a single roboticized lyric. It's like a mix of Freezepop and the best of Japanese pop.

0:03 You can play this game with an Xbox 360 controller? Really? That seems to kind of miss the point...

0:04 On the options screen, I'm told guitar tilt sensitivity is "not supported by your current guitar model." Who knew?

0:05 Normal is "The way the game is supposed to be experienced." Hard is locked anyway. I skip the intro once I realize its the same one that played when I loaded up the game.

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Trials HD

Developer: RedLynx
Publisher: Microsoft
Release Date: Aug. 12, 2009
System: Xbox 360
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: If real motorcycling is this hard, no wonder there are so many accidents.

0:00 After hearing this one frequently described as the second coming of the NES favorite ExciteBike, I figured $15 wasn't too much to ask.

0:01 "Monday Monday Monday. It's Monday Night Show Tiiiime," says an announcer over the introductory logos. Drum-heavy generic rock over a simple, dirty title screen.

0:02 Controls look simple enough ... gas and break on the shoulder triggers, lean forward and back with the analog stick. Let's go!

0:03 Difficulty choices are Beginner, Easy, Medium, Hard and Extreme. I start with Beginner, even though I assume it will be totally simple and boring. I start the tutorial in the only available bike, a tiny Turtle 80cc. Looks way too small for my large, muscular rider.

0:04 I hold down RT to go full-throttle right out of the gate. There are some small ramps, but it's a relatively flat course. I show off on the last straightaway with some wheelies. After the finish line, my rider crashes into some plywood and big rubber tires. Ouch. Already I'm not a fan of the diagonal camera view, which makes depth perception a bit of a problem.

0:05 The next track is full of distracting explosions to the side of my biker's path. I'm doing fine, until I lean too far forward during a jump and end up riding nearly vertically on my front wheel after the landing. I fall over into the world's gentlest crash. It's almost slow-motion.

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'Splosion Man

Developer: Twisted Pixel Games
Publisher: Twisted Pixel Games
Release Date: July 22, 2009
System: Xbox 360
ESRB Rating: E-10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Why jump when you can 'SPLODE?

0:00 You say there's a new 2-D platformer on Xbox Live Arcade? And it's from the people who made the excellent The Maw? And the main character is made of explosions? Yes, please!

0:01 The Twisted Pixel logo explodes into a scene of fat scientists running from a test subject. It's 'Splosion Man, a thin, red, man-shaped mass of small explosions, who introduces his game's logo with explosions, of course! When I choose "New Game," he jumps out of the logo and kicks a bomb through a pane of glass at a scientist. Spiffy!

0:02 Two oblong scientists are talking in a hallway when our hero interrupts them by 'Sploding through the wall. I'm in control, just like that. Hurray for not belaboring the intro!

0:03 Tapping any face button hurls me into the air with a satisfying explosion. The 'Sploding also turns any nearby scientists into big hunks of steak. Yum.

0:04 I already earned the "Get Them Out of Our Schools" Achievement for eliminating 10 scientists and "stop[ping] them from spreading their filthy lies." Heh. Subtle.

0:05 'Sploding next to green barrels sends me soaring higher than ever. I can also 'Splode in mid-air for a double and even a TRIPLE jump. This game's final score just got tripled, as far as I'm concerned.

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Flock!

Developer: Proper Games
Publisher: Capcom
Release Date: April 8, 2009
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3, PC
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Go that way. No, not that way, that way. No, the other way. GRRRR!
0:00 I remember being enamored with this cute action/puzzle game during a short demo at E3 '08, but I just didn't know if it would have any staying power. We'll see, won't we?

0:01 Some loading and some file creation take up this entire first minute.

0:02 "Use your UFO to herd any animals in the level to the Motherflocker." I love any game that can be distilled into a single sentence that way. Also, "Motherflocker" is an epic win of naming.

0:03 Level 1 is named "Un-Baa-lievably Easy." I wonder if it'll be tough...

0:05 So, basically, I'm a UFO hovering a few feet off a patchwork of sewn-together grass. When I get close to the white puffball sheep, they run away scared. I have to use this reaction to herd them towards the Motherflocker mothership. The sheep are incredibly cute as they bounce up and down and away from my ship.

0:07 On to Level 2: "Hide and Seek." Here the sheep are hiding behind trees, but my ship's antenna points out the closest ones. I have to get used to making wide arcing circles around the sheep, so I don't inadvertently push them in the wrong direction while I'm trying to get in position.

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Castle Crashers

Developer: The Behemoth
Publisher: Microsoft
Release Date: Aug. 27, 2008
System: Xbox 360
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Crash them castles.

0:00 I feel like I've been hearing about this game for decades. I played it for roughly two seconds at E3 and it seemed fun enough. But fun enough for an hour? We shall see.

0:01 I know this is game is best experienced as a multiplayer whack-fest (Dirty!) but, as usual during my lunch break, no one is around. Furthermore, there's not even anyone on my Xbox Live friends list. What are these people doing in the middle of a busy work day? You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone....

0:03 For a game that I thought was just about hacking and slashing, the controls and "How to Play" are surprisingly deep. Items, shops, combos, magic, leveling.... It looks like they really packed a lot in here.

0:06 After quite a bit of reading about all that stuff, we're on to the character select screen, which has a distinct The Simpsons Arcade Game vibe. I choose the green knight, because green is the most awesomest color.

0:07 My green guy is rocking out to some bards in a tavern, when another knight comes tumbling down a stairway, dead. The other celebrating knights run off to investigate, and I'm in control.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Wolf of the Battlefield: Commando 3

Developer: Backbone Entertainment
Publisher: Capcom
Release Date: June 11, 2008
System: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Shoot stuff.

0:00 I have some vague memories of the NES-era original Commando, but it wasn't one of the gaming staples of my youth or anything.

0:01 The Backbone logo just fired a couple of Gatling guns into the air for no reason. Some quick loading and the title appears over some jungle/island rhythms.

0:02 "Use guns to defeat enemies and destroy barricades." Oh, my, how original.

0:03 Looks like your basic two-stick move-and-shoot game. I can avoid taking damage for a score multiplier. Plus there are items and such! I like the exaggerated art style in the menu screens.

0:04 The difficulties are: Cake Walk, Routine Exercise, Black Ops and Suicide Mission. All games should have a Suicide Mission difficulty. Even Pong! I go with Routine Exercise. Wolf, Coyote and Fox are my character choices. I choose Fox, because everything about her is "Classified." Also, she's fast.

0:05 My first mission is titled "Beach." Does this extremely generic beach have a name, or does everyone just call it beach?

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2

Developer: Bizarre Creations
Publisher: Activision
Release Date: July 30, 2008
System: Xbox 360
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: I'm rooting for the triangles.

0:00 Considering I've played the original game probably more than any other Xbox 360 title, the question of playing this one for "more than an hour" already seems kind of moot.

0:01 Jumping right in to Deadline mode, the only mode available initially. I see one of my Xbox Live friends, DangerPenguin, is ahead of me with 325,635 points. I wonder if that's good. I also wonder who DangerPenguin is.

0:02 "Avoid the deadly enemy shapes." You have to love a game that can have an instruction like that. You HAVE to! Seems a lot like its predecessor right off: 2-D, overheard perspective, left stick moves, right stick fires.

0:03 In the first game, my score multiplier went up automatically as I killed enemies. This time I have to pick up little golden "Geoms" the enemies drop to increase the multiplier. I'm not a fan. Especially because I lose my first life trying to collect some.

0:04 Most interesting new enemy: A white line that reflects my shots back at other enemies. I can't figure out how to kill it, short of a screen-clearing bomb. Least interesting new enemy: An orange triangle that flies in a straight line. Snooze.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Xbox Live Arcade Demos

In a nutshell: Three Xbox Live Arcade demos that don't take up an hour on their own.

Prince of Persia Classic
In a nutshell: The Sands of Time Episode 1
0:01 "Marry Jaffar... or die within the hour." What a choice! The silent, robotic intro. cut scene is a little creepy.
0:03 I fall on a pit of jagged spikes because my character won't stop when I let go of the direction he's moving. Sigh.
0:04 Another death at the same place. You'd think they'd update the controls along with the graphics.
0:06 He's got a sword! Idiots... we've all got swords!
0:07 Another misstep death at the same place. Are the touchy movement supposed to be part of the old school "charm"?
0:08 Nice attack animations, but jamming on X to defeat an enemy is a bit simple.

Would I buy this game based on the demo? No
Why? Too short to get a good feel for what's possible, and the controls have not aged well.

Band of Bugs
In a nutshell: Bug Fantasy Tactics. Bug Emblem. Ogre Bug. Shining Bug. Take your pick.

0:10 "We are talking, sentient bugs after all." "There's another kind." I'm laughing here.
0:13 "This game is guaranteed to be full of bugs." GROAN!
0:16 I lose in the tutorial. The tutorial! Lesson 3.
0:17 The interface is pretty simple -- shows info. well and uses only one button, for the most part. But why does it rumble so much? I feel like the controllers gonna fly out of my hands.
0:20 Done with the tutorial, on to the real game.
0:22 My archer, upon shooting a unit from far away, says "I love shooting guys from far away." Was that really necessary?
0:23 I don't quite understand what determines who goes next. Sometime I get two turns in a row. Not that I'm complaining.
0:26 I feel like I'm still in the tutorial... new elements are being introduced every mission.
0:30 This third mission introduced the new wrinkle of capturing bases, but things are still a bit too simple. I don't feel any real danger... just move and attack and you're good.
0:31 When you highlight a character, that character info take up a full 1/4 of the screen, obscuring the play field. Not helpful.
0:37 The enemy bug gives up information when we beat him. Where's the torture scene? 24 has spoiled me.
0:40 By the fourth map there's some strategy involved in positioning and maintaining the high ground. Shows promise.
0:43 I like how the goal of every mission is slightly different. Changes things just enough to keep it interesting
0:45 Demo is over so I play with the level editor a bit. It's fun and easy to use, but why put it in the demo if you can't even save your creations or play on them?

Would I buy this game based on the demo? Probably Not.
Why? It was beginning to show some promise of complexity , but overall it seems a little too simplified for my tastes.

Mad Tracks
In a nutshell: Micro Machines for the new generation.

0:51 These cars have some nice zip to 'em. Controls are nice and responsive.
0:53 Power system is interesting. If you continually hold the gas pedal you won't get up hills. Introduces some subtle strategy.
0:56 Beastie Balls mode is interesting -- drive around a bowl avoiding marbles. Gets crazy after only a minute or two. Would be more fun if the balls were much bigger.
0:58 The physics are crazy. Huge champagne glasses bounce around like plastic bottles.
1:00 The game seems a little easy. Even with the AI set to hard the blackout race isn't even close.

Would I buy this game based on the demo? Probably
Why? The promise of billiards and foosball using cars.

Pac-Man: Championship Edition

Developer: Namco Bandai
Publisher: Namco Bandai
Release Date: June 6, 2007
System: Xbox 360

In a nutshell: The first real sequel to Pac-Man in 25 years.

0:01 Starting a single player game, I'm confronted with a baffling choice of modes with no explanation. OK... uh... Championship Mode sounds good, I guess.
0:02 Where's the sound? I do a quick reset to figure out if it's a glitch.
0:03 Sure enough. The game loses a lot without the familiar waka-waka-waka
0:05 Right away I like the widescreen maze format (Pac-Man never quite worked on a horizontal TV) and the sparks that show up when you try to turn into a wall. Neat.
0:07 Another nice touch -- the quick disposal of eaten ghosts and the quick return to the same spot when you die. They keep the action moving at a fast pace. Speaking of which, the ever-increasing speed of Pac-Man and the ghosts is a nice touch.
0:10 First round over. I still had three lives left when time ran out. Annoying! Where's the untimed mode?
0:11 I love the color-coded graph of your scoring progress. Hooray for data! Now why can't I seea similar graph on the leadboards?
0:12 Challenge Mode 1 is up next, whatever that means.
0:15 Major gripe: The blue ghost I can't eat looks way too much like the blue ghosts I can eat.
0:16 Done after only 5 minutes of the 10 minutes round. Like the title said, that got pretty challenging, mainly because I wasted all my power pellets in the first minute or so. Whoops!
0:26 Challenge mode 2 ends with 1'20 left. I love the concept of a dark arena only navigable through dots. The subtle lighting halo around Pac-Man is nice too.
0:32 It took me five minutes of Extra Mode 2 to notice that the board itself was changing with each fruit I eat. Cool! Then I abruptly die. Uncool.
0:40 I was in the zone there for a bit, racking up eight lives in one amazing string. It's entirely too easy to get lost in the rhythm of play.
0:46 Extra Mode 1 freaks me out with its long, straight, unchanging corridors.
0:47 Why do they taunt you with replays that you can only watch once and not save for later?
0:53 Completed Extra Mode 1 on my second try. The Achievements are dropping like flies.
1:00 My second try on Championship Mode ends up worse than the first. I'm overthinking things, I think. Time for a break.

Would I play this game for more than an hour: Yes
Why? All the addictiveness of the classic with much less rote memorizability.

This review was based on a copy of the game purchased from Xbox Live.