Red Dead Redemption

Developer: Rockstar San Diego

Publisher: Rockstar

Release Date: May 18, 2010

Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3, PC

ESRB Rating: M

Official web site

In a nutshell: "Grand Theft Horse and Buggy" is too obvious. How about, "The politest bounty hunter in the old west"?

0:00 I'm not a big fan of open-world games in general, and Rockstar's Grand Theft Auto games in particular, but the beautifully vast vistas and horse-based gunolay action in this one impressed me at a PAX East demo.

0:01 I'm staying at my parents' place in Maryland, so I'm forced to use my sister's Xbox 360, which is hooked to a small, 20" standard definition TV. I'd almost forgotten what games looked like in SD. I'd also forgotten what a slob my sister is... this room is a pigsty!

0:02 "Playing the game may make you eligible for some prizes," says the fine print. Really? Anyway, an incredibly dull and silent title screen features a tree gently rustling in the wind.

0:03 Most of this minute is spent watching a scene titled "Exodus in America" loading.

0:05 A riverboat on a calm river. Light piano music. A bunch of people in proper period costumes step off, including one who looks a bit less proper than the rest. An old-timey car is loaded in by a winch. A newsie calls out "Extra Extra" to complete the cliche.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT<--***

***-->JOYSTICK DIVISION<-***

___________________________________________________

Grand Theft Auto IV

Developer: Rockstar North
Publisher: Rockstar Games
Release Date: April 29, 2008
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: See Liberty City again... for the first time!

0:00 Believe it or not, I have never owned a Grand Theft Auto game. I rented 2 and 3 and dipped my toes in the water, but this will be my first time genuinely attempting to play through one. Wish me luck.

0:01 After the obligatory logos come a series of stylish drawings of crowbars opening crates, a girl licking a lollipop seductively, some guys playing dominos, and a hooker seducing a John. The pics come right from the game box, it seems. "Starting a new game..." a small message in the corner of a black screen tells me.

0:02 A dominatrix is beating someone (the boat captain?) in a small, spare room. Nice that we get the sex stuff going early! Outside two guys are getting ready to disembark a tramp steamer to Liberty City. "You ever been?" asks one. "No," says the other. "Crazy place, Niko," says the one who isn't Niko. "Like they say, it is the land of opportunity." Niko talks up his cousin and the promise of women, cars, parties, etc.

0:03 Cut to a shot of a guy mixing a diamond into his soup, for some reason. Niko continues talking about the regrets of his past. "We all do dumb things. That's what makes us human," says his companion. That's pretty deep for a game that just showed someone getting beaten by a girl in leather and spikes.

0:04 People getting off the boat are greeted by loved ones, but Niko is left alone for a few moments, until his cousin comes by in a beat-up junker. "Welcome to America! What a night last night. Two women! The land of opportunity. I've made it!" The cousin is very drunk and just as loud. Some nearby construction workers tell him off. "Let's go to the mansion, huh?" Niko says excitedly. "Yes, the mansion! Maybe you should drive," the cousin suggests wisely.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer