Friday, May 30, 2008

UEFA Euro 2008

Developer: EA Canada
Publisher: EA Sports
Release Date: May 20, 2008
Systems: PS3 (reviewed), PS2, PSP, Xbox 360, PC
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Football as 99% of the world knows it.
0:00 I've actually never played a soccer video game before unless you count Super Mario Strikers -- and you really shouldn't, as that game has fireballs and turtle shells and stuff. I did play some little league soccer in my youth, though, so I know how the game works. You try and put the ball in the net, right?

0:01 This minute spent downloading a seemingly mandatory 68 MB version 1.02 update for the game.

0:10 The past 10 minutes spent the same way as minute 0:01.

0:11 The UEFA logo comes flying in with some peppy music over snowy peaks and a fast-moving, cloudy sky. "Hello I'm Clyde Tillsy(?) and it's my pleasure to introduce you to EA Sports' UEFA Euro 2008." He explains that you can earn points when you win games (more points for games you aren't expected to win), and these points are used online to represent your nation in an online leaderboard. Hooray for nationalism! "Good luck, and perhaps you can be the champion gamer, or part of the champion nation of gamers, in UEFA Euro 2008."

0:14 So I have to pick the nation that I'll represent in the online leaderboards. Interestingly, I can play as any country I want, but this pick for who I "represent" is irrevocable after I make it. Not being from Europe myself, I pick Liechtenstein, with its half-star rating and population of 35,000 people, mainly because I feel bad for it. Also, it's fun to say. Lick-ten-shtine!

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Deca Sports

Developer: Hudson Soft
Publisher: Hudson Soft
Release Date: May 13, 2008
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Offical Web page

In a nutshell: Curling! Plus nine other sports, I suppose.

0:00 I've been looking forward to this one quite a bit for one reason and one reason only: CURLING!

0:00.30 If and when you picture me writing this review, it's important that you include the stylish Deca Sports wristband Hudson sent me on my wrist.

0:01 "Evrah-bodeee, move ya bodeeeeeee," comes out of the speaker amid a driving bass groove. "Move move, left to right, slide slide... Life is like a dream." This is quite the ridiculous theme song. Check out the official Web site link above to hear it for yourself.

0:02 Straight to the "controls" section to learn how to curl! You hold down B to get a power meter bouncing up and down, then thrust the controller forward to start moving. Release B to, er, release the stone.

0:04 Twisting the remote before releasing it "curls" the stone to curve around blockers. Reminds me of Wii Sports bowling, where all the curve comes at the very end.

0:05 After release, other team members sweep in front of the hurtling stone to get it to go faster and straighter. This means shaking the remote like a madman, of course.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

R-Type Final

Developer: Irem
Publisher: Eidos
Release Date: Feb. 2, 2004
System: PS2
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web page

In a nutshell: Side-Scrolling Space Shooter: The Final Frontier
0:00 I just got done reviewing the putrid spin-off R-Type Command for CG, so I'm finally unwrapping this one to remind myself why I liked the series in the first place. The last one I played seriously was Super R-Type on the SNES.

0:01 A bright sunny sky with the sounds of lapping waves. Jump to a fighter coming dangerously close to crushing some citizenry as it makes a hairpin turn right above a city street. Diagram shots of other fighters are intercut with video of a virus multiplying. The various fighters all charge up a shot together and take out an advancing wave of Bydo forces. Back to the beach. The back of a fighter is sticking up from the water. The title appears as the beach scene turns to twilight.

0:04 I go into the tutorial to learn how the series has advanced since the early '90s. Apparently now I can change speeds, and I won't die if my fighter touches the ground. There are also two levels of missiles now. Otherwise it's the same shoot-everything-that-moves gameplay that I used to love.

0:10 Another new feature -- absorbing shots with my protective orange "force" can charge up a screen-clearing shot. I can unlock a bunch of different ships, eventually.

0:12 "Start Game!" I can choose from three ships, and customize the missiles and color! I go with the basic "R-9A" model, but I fabulize it in purple with a purple trim.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Baroque

Developer: Sting Entertainment
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: April 8, 2008
Systems: Wii (reviewed), Saturn, PlayStation, PS2
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Nothing to do with the art style.

0:00 One of my friends recommended this game, and Atlus offered to send me a copy, so I figured, "Why not?"

0:01 The game's title appears over an expanding black mass. An anime intro begins, featuring lots of disturbing, disconnected images: a flopping fish out of water, a murder of crows, some bloody sword battles, the word "Absiste," a lonely king on a chess board. "Heal Your Sins, Heal the World," is the concluding message. OK, I'm suitably creeped out.

0:02 The speaker on the remote rings in a loud, high bell tone as I hit A to start a game at Normal difficulty.

0:03 "His EEG readings are moving violently," says one unseen doctor. "Increase the barbiturate sedative," says another. Much more medical babble commences as we pan over scenes of a green hyperbaric chamber.

0:04 A bit of loading and I'm put in control on a thin, blue-haired boy with some rather basic clothes. He's running around a dark, outdoor corridor with a brown dirt floor, gray brick walls and creepy music.

0:05 I pass a creepy-looking kid. "Picking up items is my hobby... though I can only hold five items," he says. This makes me grin. Then I accidentally hit the kid with a tap of the B button. "Don't hit me... just anything but that right now." Well, that's almost idiomatic English...

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Friday, May 23, 2008

The Club

Developer: Bizarre Creations
Publisher: Sega
Release Date: Feb. 19, 2008
Systems: PS3 (reviewed), Xbox 360, PC
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Project Gotham Shooting.

0:00 I'm not usually a shooter fan, but I'm still looking forward to this one because of the good critical reception, not to mention the Sega and Bizarre names behind it.

0:01 A Russian guy runs through a snowy field, away from a shooter in a helicopter. He's Dragov. Now he's inside meeting with The Secretary! Killen is shooting a guy with a shotgun. Renwick is punching a guy out. Seager is wearing riot gear. Adjo is surrounded by people in the African savannah. Kuro is shooting people on the streets of Japan. Finn is getting beat up in a casino's back room. Nemo is hiding in the corner of a dark abandoned room. They're all part of THE CLUB, as the title screen says in bigger letters.

0:03 "Welcome KyleOrl to the club." Thanks, but please, just call me Kyle.

0:04 The options screen lets me edit the speaker angle and crosshair color. These are crucial options!

0:05 The only selectable options are Multiplayer and Tournament. There's no story/campaign mode? I'm told to choose a character that suits my playing style. I choose fast and weak Kuro, because I figure I'll need the help dodging.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Universe at War: Earth Assault

Developer: Petroglyph
Publisher: Sega
Release Date: March 25, 2008
System: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PC
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Oh man, we're all screwed.

0:00 I'm not very good at or interested in real-time strategy games, but good reviews, the Sega name and an Xbox 360 version convinced me to try this one out.

0:01 A starry sky... oh, no, it's actually the electric lights of a planet, with the sun rising in a thin corona. Some military guys shoot through the dust then get attacked by alien walker thingies right out of "War of the Worlds." Driving rock music accompanies the carnage. Suddenly, some bright white mechs straight out of "Gundam" show up, along with sleek metal robots straight out of the Star Wars prequels. The music turns all techno as they fire missiles at the big walker, bringing him down. Fade to title.

0:03 I'm afraid I'll have to go through the video tutorial. Sorry if this turns out to be boring. I learn that Resources have to be collected. "Without adequate raw materials on hand, your army is doomed to failure." Good advice for real life, too.

0:06 The research tree is apparently "a rich feature of Universe at War," if the game does say so itself -- and it does.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Wii Fit

Developer: Nintendo
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: May 21, 2008
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: That game with the fancy scale.

0:00 I played an early build of the game at E3 '07, and have tried it a few times since, but this will be my first full hour with the game.

0:01 Prepared to start: all decked out in a t-shirt, gym shorts and the super-cute promotional Wii Fit socks sent by Nintendo. Got a cup of cold water handy, too.

0:02 This minute spent synching the Balance Board with the Wii, a relatively painless process.

0:03 An anthropomorphic Balance Board pops up on screen and tells me, "Hello, and welcome to Wii Fit." I pick out my Mii from the list and he drops in from the sky with white pants and a green shirt that says "Wii" on it. The balance board lectures me about how the world's posture is going to hell in a handbasket. He sounds like a cranky old man. My Mii listens and nods intently. I can't say I do the same.

0:04 I enter my height and date of birth. The Wii says "Great" in a cute robotic voice as I make my selections.

0:05 "Starting up ... step on" in the same robotic voice. "Ready!" The game asks how heavy my clothes are. That's a bit of a personal question for so early in our relationship, don't you think?

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Monday, May 19, 2008

Metal Gear Solid (GBC)

Developer: Konami
Publisher: Konami
Release Date: May 5, 2000
System: Game Boy Color
ESRB Rating: E

In a nutshell: Tiny Gear Solid? Metal Gear Tiny? Metal Tiny Tiny?

0:00 I distinctly remember this game getting a glowing review in Next Generation magazine, which rarely reviewed Game Boy Color games at all. Eight years later, it's less than five bucks at a GameStop clearance sale. How could I resist?

0:01 A silhouette of a plane flies by with a low-pitched whine. Close-up on Snake in the dark. Man, I really forgot how blocky Game Boy Color graphics were back in the day. Colonel Campbell pays Snake a visit: "It's been a long time, Snake." "Didn't expect to see you again," replies the retired mercenary. They share some scotch, which surprises me given the game's E rating. Snake built the house himself. "Didn't know you were a carpenter," Campbell says. Didn't you know? Snake is Jesus!

0:02 It's been three years since Snake left for Alaska and the world is on the brink of nuclear destruction. Yes, again! Campbell is droning on about some guys who stole some nukes in South America: "It was Metal Gear." Cure the dramatic, yet incredibly tinny, music at the mere mention of these bipedal nuke-launchers. This whole thing seems a bit melodramatic and silly without the quality voice acting that carried the PlayStation original.

0:03 The U.S. government continued Metal Gear development even after Snake destroyed it seven years ago. Man, how many times does he have to destroy this thing? It's now in "Gindra," a small country in central Africa that's in the middle of a civil war. The armed separatists have Metal Gear, an armed, charismatic leader and a virtually impenetrable fortress. That's not a good combination. "So they plan to win their independence by threatening nuclear strikes with Metal Gear." Way to state the obvious, Political Science Snake.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Friday, May 16, 2008

Opoona

Developer: ArtePiazza
Publisher: Koei
Release Date: March 25, 2008
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Funny name, pointless game.

0:00 The early coverage of this game has been on the edge of my periphery for a while now, but I don't really know what to expect.

0:01 "Far away in the distant future..." So like the opposite of "Star Wars"? On Tizia, the Cosmo Guard was chosen to destroy an evil force of demon servant rogues. Far from Tizia was a forgotten star that was hit by dark matter force and overrun by rogues. A streak of light came though the land, pushing off the rogues and allowing the people to fight back. The people from that planet, Landroll, spread throughout the universe. This is extreme paraphrasing from introductory text that moves way too quickly. I like the stylish images that accompany it, though.

0:03 A hand-drawn globe with light and dark sides sits behind the title screen, with chipper xylophone music throughout. Instead of "New Game," the option is "Begin Voyage!" But first, I have to plug in a Nunchuk.

0:04 "In a universe far away, in some unknown time, three children were born on Tizia." Opoona was one of them; the others have equally ridiculous names. On a phallic space station, sister Poleena asks if we're at Landroll yet. Brother Copoona stops her from running around and bugging mama. Poleena hits Copoona with the ball things hovering over her head. Dad comes in and stops their tomfoolery.

0:05 Poleena calls me a lazybon for sleeping so late. "Have you forgotten what today is? Well that doesn't surprise me at all, you dummy!" Ouch! We're on a family trip from Tizia to "a far off world." Dad's looking for me and he's in a bad mood. Uh oh.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Defend Your Castle

Developer: XGen Studios
Publisher: XGen Studios
Release Date: May 12, 2008
System: Wii (WiiWare, reviewed), PC
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Defend Your $5 Cost on WiiWare

0:00 I played the freeware PC version of this game for about five minutes and it seemed worth a try as a $5 download on the new WiiWare download service. Plus I think the Wii remote controls will help things.

0:01 Right to the title screen -- no cut scenes, no story, nothing! Thank goodness! A bunch of stick figures with white heads running by in the background, and by a bunch I mean hundreds. I start a new game, normal difficulty.

0:02 "Round 1: Defend Your Castle" I guess that's all the instructions I'm getting. The background and clouds look like they're made of construction paper -- you can even see the blue strings holding up the clouds. It's like a 3rd grade diorama. The health bar is labeled "hElth" in black crayon. LOL.

0:03 Stick figure guys run at the gray castle. Pick 'em up with A, fling 'em in the air, and watch 'em splat. The "euuugh" sound effect and some birds chirping are the only things punctuating the eerie silence.

0:04 I'm getting ten-second hang times when I fling these guys way off the top of the screen! The SPLAT is all the more satisfying when you totally forgot about throwing the guy.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Jenga: World Tour

Developer: Atomic Planet Entertainment
Publisher: Atari
Release Date: Dec. 7, 2007
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Jenga without the need to clean up those pesky blocks. Or, y'know, have fun.

0:00 I've heard pretty bad things about this one, but I just had to see for myself how Atari could mess up a concept as great as moving Jenga blocks with the Wii remote.

0:01 "Jenga: Edge-of-your-seat fun! There is only one Jenga!" brags the introductory animation. The game tells me I need to plug in a Nunchuk. Really? Somehow the real version got by with one-handed controls.

0:02 The word "Jenga" bounces hypnotically on a title screen with undulating colored blocks at the edges and a scrolling, blue, Jenga-filled background. A weird techno-synth-pop background plays. Whoa! Trippy!

0:03 On to the tutorial. "Study this carefully and you should have everything you need to become a great Jenga player!" Should? What if I don't? What then? WHAT THEN?!

0:04 For those who don't know, Jenga involves taking blocks from the middle of a wooden tower and placing them on the top without toppling them over. Also, you should really get out of the house more.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The World Ends With You

Developer: Jupiter
Publisher: Square Enix
Release Date: April 22, 2008
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: The what ends with who?

0:00 Amidst all the GTA4 launch craziness, the unexpected praise for this game somehow broke through to my consciousness. I had to at least give it a try.

0:01 A bunch of urban-looking kids stand around an urban-looking environment over a title screen with piano-infused beats. Catchy.

0:02 Since this is a rental copy, I have to delete the old saved game to start anew. The game asks me three times if I'm sure. "Once you DELETE your data, it's gone and it ain't ever coming back." Fine by me. It's not my data.

0:03 Comic book panels of a hand-drawn city scene fly in from off screen. "Outta my face, you're blocking my view. Shut up. Stop talking. Just go the hell away. All the world needs is me. I've got my values, so you can keep yours, all right? I don't get people, never have, never will." Each line's delivered with real conviction and accompanied with bold text. Good stuff.

0:04 Our loner collapses on a busy Tokyo street. He has a skull amulet thing in his hand. "What the... I can hear voices in my head." The amulet thing is actually a pin, but the guy has no idea where it came from.

0:06 I'm in control. Tapping the pin on the bottom screen scans the crowd so I can read their thoughts. A lot of guys are thinking about girls, it seems. The one girl on the street is thinking about her grandfather. Aww.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Sunday, May 11, 2008

I-Ninja

Developer: Argonaut
Publisher: Namco
Release Date: Nov. 18, 2003
Systems: PS2 (reviewed), Gamecube, Xbox, PC
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Like an iPod, but with more Ninja, I guess?

0:00 I remembered hearing some vaguely good things about this action-platformer years back, so when I saw it for $5 on a clearance rack, I couldn't say no.

0:01 The Namco logo just got attacked by shurikens. The Argonaut logo is slashed in half. I don't know which is preferable.

0:02 "Feel my steel," says our hero ninja as he automatically beats up a bunch of generic-looking bad guys in the background of the title screen. Everything is very rounded and pleasantly old-school cartoon-style.

0:03 In a cut scene, our hero jumps across some steps. He finds his sensei chained and guarded by generic grey ninjas. He takes out the guards quickly and slashes the chains, then takes out a big green monster just as quickly. A red thing rises from his gaping maw. When the Ninja grabs it he goes berserk and kills the sensei. Wait, what? Did that actually just happen? "What have I done? Master... you're dead." Ghost sensei tells him these special rage stones are valuable and have to be retrieved. "Ugh, he's dead and still all he can think about is my training," says our hero. Er, you were the one who killed him.

0:04 There's a busted giant robot on the beach. He was governor of this region, according to sensei. A robot governor? Hey, just like Schwarzenegger!

0:06 On to the action. Attacks are suitably button-mashy, but it's relatively easy to redirect and dodge as I attack. I like the double jump, too. So far, so good.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Thursday, May 8, 2008

MLB 08: The Show

Developer: SCEA
Publisher: SCEA
Release Date: March 4, 2008
Systems: PS3 (reviewed), PS2, PSP
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: MLB 07: The Show + 1

0:00 I played MLB 07 a bit after I reviewed it for lunch about a year ago, but the last time I really got into a baseball game was back in the NES days.

0:01 I'm downloading a 36 MB update. I'm reeeeeally getting tired of this, Sony.

0:05 The update is installing. The download wasn't quite as bad this time.

0:06 "2007: Year of the Milestone" flashes across the screen. "In 1989 Sammy Sosa made his major league debut..." He was chasing the "600 club" re: home runs, and he got it in a fetching Rangers uniform. Some nice full-screen game footage here, then an abrupt transition to a legalese loading screen and the title. Gives the game a good sense of history.

0:08 After some longish initial loading, the game asks me to create a profile. An old-timey baseball radio announcer comes on in the background -- nice touch -- then transitions into the song "Low Rider." Not as nice.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Mr. Robot

Developer: Moonpod
Publisher: Moonpod
Release Date: Jan. 10, 2007
System: PC
ESRB Rating: N/A
Official Web site

In a nutshell: The latest Robot Role-Playing Game (or RRPG)

0:00 I vaguely remember some minor buzz for this game when it first came out, and I tend to like action puzzle games, so I figured it was worth a try.

0:02 After some longish loading, a ship flies by a starscape. "For decades, the starship Eidolon has burned its way across space." It's going to Prime, a potential new world for humanity. It's been a long voyage for the cryo-sleeping passengers and their robot tenders. Does that include our eponymous Mr. Robot, perhaps? The head robot is named HEL. Heh. "Lately, things haven't been running as smoothly as HEL would like. It would be quite a worry for him... if he were capable of such an emotion." That's what we in the biz call foreshadowing...

0:04 An isometric view of a metal room. A communications panel pops up: "1138, this is HEL. Go to Sector 2 immediately. I've got another rogue bot on the loose and I need you to clean up the mess." I'm a cute little rounded yellow robot who can walk around with the mouse or keyboard. 1138 kind of slides around on the floor as he changes direction. Pretty cute.

0:06 A female robot named Zelda calls me "Honey" and tells me that the rogue bot knocked over some crates (that rogue!). She asks me to push the boxes back. It's not the most subtle tutorial I've ever seen, but not the worst either. "Good work Asimov. You're my No. 1 bot," Zelda says. Awww...

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Mercury Meltdown: Revolution

Developer: Ignition
Publisher: Ignition
Release Date: Oct. 16, 2007
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Super Mercury Ball Madness

0:00 I played the PSP version of this game a few years back and was moderately impressed. I'm hoping the Wii's motion controls can really put this puzzler over the top.

0:01 The Wii Menu screen for this title has a bouncing yellow smiley face over a bass jazz groove. Ten bonus points right off the bat!

0:02 The game shows a computer mainframe-style green computer prompt, then commences with a normal loading screen, then the regular "don't throw the Wii remote" warning. Weird.

0:03 Tutorial time. Tilt the Wii remote to tilt the stage, and your blob of mercury with it. The clock turns to a sad face if you're too slow. Awww...

0:05 Teleporters, pressure switches, etc. Nothing I haven't seen before, although it all looks a lot better on the big TV screen. Very stylish black outlines around all the major set pieces.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Monday, May 5, 2008

Devil May Cry 4

Publisher: Capcom
Developer: Capcom
Release Date: Feb. 5, 2008
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3, Windows
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Why I finally opened DMC3 on Friday.

0:00 Another day, another Devil May Cry game. If it's anything like No. 3, I'll be happy.

0:01 A woman walks through an orange marble conservatory. Lightning in the distance as a guy in a red coat (Dante?) watches. A winged thing descends. A floating snake slinks by. Dante and the girl look at each other. Quick jump cuts show Dante in action, getting kicked in the face, grabbing enemies, riding them like scooters, shooting them, getting eaten, kicking them into the air, pile driving them into the ground, etc. "The story goes that Sparda served as the feudal lord of the city long ago. The people of the city take these stories as truth and worship him as a god." Scenes of citizens fleeing from monsters. Dante kicking falling blocks of granite. The girl floats in a blue stasis field. "She has nothing to do with this... Let her go!" Etc. etc. Contemplative music over slow-mo action scenes. Dante leaps and reaches out for something. He screams out as the title appears. I feel like I've seen the whole of the story already?

0:04 The title screen shows which of my Xbox Live friends are playing the game and how much they've completed. Is this supposed to unleash my competitive fires?

0:06 I can choose "Human" or "Devil Hunter" difficulties. I'm not exactly "new" to the series, but I've only played for an hour, so "Human" it is. I choose to turn on "Automatic," whatever that means.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Friday, May 2, 2008

Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening

Developer: Capcom
Publisher: Capcom
Release Date: March 1, 2005
System: PS2 (reviewed), Windows
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Slashy Slashy Bang Bang

0:00 I played the original Devil May Cry for about five minutes back in college. I watched the first three episodes of the "DMC" anime, though, so I feel like an expert already.

0:01 "Warning, this game contains explicit scenes of violence and gore." As if the M rating wasn't warning enough.

0:02 "You've heard of it, haven't you? The legend of Sparda? When I was young, my father would tell me stories about it." A female voice goes on about a demon who rebelled against his own kind and sealed a portal to the demon world. His power was trapped on the other side. Fade in to slow-mo shots of a rain-drenched sword battle. Her father's stories were true! "I met the sons of Sparda, both of them! It seemed as if they derived some sort of twisted pleasure from this brotherly fighting." Anyone with a sibling can relate. One stabs the other. "But in the end only one was left standing." A phone rings. "Want to know the name? Devil May Cry!" someone screams. I knew the name already. Thanks, though.

0:06 I don't know how I'm gonna remember all the controls on this config screen. Luckily, the game asks if I want a tutorial (I do). It also asks me to choose between "Yellow" and "Gold." Since I have no idea what this means, I pick Gold. Because it's shiny.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Thursday, May 1, 2008

NFL Tour

Developer: EA Tiburon
Publisher: EA Sports BIG
Release Date: Jan. 8, 2008
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: The National Self-parody League

0:00 I absolutely loved Midway's NFL Blitz games, and have been looking for a replacement ever since that series stopped. I'm also a fan of EA Tiburon's NBA Street, so I have high hopes for this one.

0:01 Fireworks and bright lights over a multicolored field. Football players without pads, getting thrown about. Leaping catches with pyrotechnics in the background. Streaky effects behind the runners. Players bouncing off padded walls. More fireworks! Even more fireworks! This music is pretty catchy, and... title!

0:02 I choose "PLAY NOW" and dive into a Bears vs. Colts match-up. I'll figure it out, right?

0:04 "We've got a great match-up tonight on the NFL Tour," says an off-screen announcer. He does not elaborate on this at all.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer