Showing posts with label minigames. Show all posts
Showing posts with label minigames. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

101-in-1 Sports Megamix

Developer: Nordcurrent
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: Sept. 1, 2010
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E
Official web site

In a nutshell: Quantity over quality.

0:00 The idea of packing 101 sports mini-games onto a single DS cart just strikes me as inherently ridiculous. My equally ridiculous mission: To play and write about all 101 in an hour... or die trying. Aaaand, go!

0:01 Wasted precious seconds creating a file and skipping a dated-looking intro movie. Volleyball makes me turn the DS sideways to move my player left and right using the stylus. Ridiculously simple and already boring. NEXT!

0:02 In Bowling I fling the ball from the bottom touch screen to pins at the top of the top screen. The ball rolls like it’s going through molasses, hitting the pins and knocking them straight down with almost no pin action. NEXT!

0:03 Boxing’s direct overhead perspective reminds me of the old Atari 2600 Boxing game. Move with the d-pad, tap the touchscreen buttons to punch. Kind of interesting, but no time to delve deeper! NEXT!

0:04 For some reason, when my character hits the ball in Tennis, it goes directly out of bounds to the right every time. I don’t have time or interest to figure out why. NEXT!

0:05 Surprisingly, Horse Riding uses button controls rather than the touch screen. I hold right on the d-pad to run, then tap B to jump over hurdles with a ridiculously floaty jump. These horses are jumping the equivalent of ten feet in the air easily. NEXT!


___________________________________________________

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Touchmaster 3

Developer: Midway Games
Publisher: Warner Bros. Interactive
Release Date: Oct. 27, 2009
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: All the fun of the bar, with less beer spilling.

0:00 I remember occasionally playing Midway's Touchmaster bar games at some restaurants in my youth, and even wrote about the similar games it inspired for a 2007 Escapist story. The touch-based controls and simple, time-wasting gameplay seems perfectly suited for the DS. I'm kind of surprised this game has a "3" in it, though, as I've never even heard of the first two.

0:01 Funky, SNES-style MIDI music plays as a simple title appears on the top screen. I start a new file and we're off.

0:02 In the options screen I can turn the music on or off, but I can't control their relative volume of each. This smacks of a rush job already.

0:03 Let's get to the games. There are 17 spread across Card, Strategy, Action, Puzzle and Word categories. Funny, I vaguely remember the box saying there were 40 games.

0:04 Let's start with the first card game, Target Royale. Small white text describes how the game will work: I have to arrange cards as their dealt into three five-card poker hands, making the best hands possible. Clicking a shield icon brings up achievements such as "Dead Man's Hand" (A's and 8's) and "The Big Fish" (scoring zero points in a round).

***-->CONTINUE READING AT<--*** ***-->JOYSTICK DIVISION<-*** ___________________________________________________

Monday, August 17, 2009

Hot PXL

Developer: zSlide
Publisher: Atari
Release Date: Oct. 2, 2007
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Yo yo yo what up mah homiez, this be a tight-ass mini-game collection in the HIZZZ-OOOOOOOOUSE! Word.

0:00 I'm an unapologetic fan of WarioWare-style mini-game collections, so this Atari offering of 200 of the things had me intrigued. Not intrigued enough to check it out in the last two years it's been out, but still intrigued enough to put it in my GameFly queue.

0:01 A smiling pixel man in a red shirt and a red-and-yellow ball cap greets me. There's a pyramid of odd pixel people in the background, including one that seems to be a hamburger. Logos erupt in pixilated thunder, then a menu screen shows the guy in the hat with a girl in one corner and a purple monster in another. The Episodes option lets me "Unlock the 10 episodes of PXL lifestyle," whatever that means.

0:02 I choose Normal difficulty in front of a desert that contains an orange sky, a green cactus and a black monster that reminds me of a Troggle. A desert, a cactus and ... a big black thing. Episode 1 is "Underground." A fast-paced video tells me "How to play how Hot PXL!"1. Get what to do. (Via on-screen text.) 2. Find how to do it. Use the analog stick or directional buttons. Press buttons. Or try anything else! (Um, what else is there?) 3. Finally perform! Ready?" I guess so? I don't remember WarioWare needing a video like this.

0:03 Inexplicably, the game leads off with a short video of an old white guy in hip-hop garb coming out of a bunker and blowing dust off a record. Umm...

0:04 The first game just tells me to "Shoot." At first I think the tiny blue box is a target reticle. Nope, it's a ship that shifts left and right. X shoots two shots that take out two black squares up at the top of the screen. A between-game stat box tells me I'm "still on track to perfect." Er, thanks!


***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

____________________________________________________

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

WTF: Work Time Fun

Developer: SCEJ
Publisher: D3 Publisher
Release Date: Oct. 16, 2006
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: What if they made a game that tried its best NOT to be fun...?
0:00 Comparisons to the WarioWare series had me seeking this one out, but just as a rental. Doesn't sound deep enough to warrant a purchase, based on what I've read.

0:01 There's a large, yawning cat behind the standard screen telling me not to remove the memory card. I press X and a low, distorted announcer's voice screams "WORK TIME FUN!" The screaming guy in the background reminds me of Dr. Tran.

0:02 The default character name is "WTF Jr." I wonder how many people actually choose that name. Also, there's a "?" option for gender. That's ... inclusive, I guess. The game also asks for my blood type. I don't even know!

0:03 An old-fashioned LED message board on a silver background. "You've got mail," says the voice. It's from "WTF Net." They're here to provide support for my e-mail. Um, good to know?

0:04 To the Placement Office we go. A blue-faced demon in a robe carries a beer. "Hey! Did you eat lunch? All right, now get to work," he says. In the background, sounds of whips and screaming. Holy f***, this game is messed-UP!

0:05 Traffic Counter is the first game. "Count the people who appear from left and right. You'll lose if you count anything other than a person." Thrilling...

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

____________________________________________________

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Puffins: Island Adventure

Developer: Other Ocean
Publisher: Majesco
Release Date: June 1, 2009
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: OMG, Puffins are so cute! Don't you think Puffins are so cute? You're right they're sooooo CUTE!

0:00 Before you ask, NO, I did NOT buy this game for myself. What kind of self-respecting grown man would publically admit a love for puffins so strong that he spent good money on a DS game just to show it? Luckily, Majesco sent me a copy so I didn't have to do that.

0:01 Some quick logos and then a catchy sea shanty plays over a simple, static title screen. "Touch to Start." I do with BOUNDLESS ANTICIPATION!

0:02 On the top screen, a table showing potential grades in eight different events. On the bottom screen, a file selection. In the background, sounds of wind.

0:03 "Create Your Puffin!" With pleasure! I can choose from seven hair styles (all black), three eye colors, and eight beak colors, each more colorful than the last (if you arrange them in order of colorfulness with a sensitive-enough scale). I name my puffin Ace, as per usual.

0:05 The options screen includes "Left/Right Handed" and "View Credits." If the Story Mode is as complex as this options screen, I am SO THERE!

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

____________________________________________________

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Go Play: Lumberjacks


Developer: Panic Button
Publisher: Majesco
Release Date: June 9, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: All the nonexistent thrill of lumbersports, captured accurately in a Wii game.

0:00 I know that these games are designed for groups of two or more tweens, and I am one 26-year-old man. Still, it's been sitting on my shelf for weeks now, so away we go.

0:01 The box art intriguingly features a scoreboard with the names Jack, Jill, Bart and Nozawa. Nozawa? Really? That ... doesn't seem to fit with the others.

0:02 The preview screen features a burly man in flannel hitting a tree and shouting "TIIIIMBERRRR!" After quite a bit of loading, the title screen comes up with the same lumberjack in the foreground. Behind him, a slight girl holding a chainsaw that's almost bigger than her. Also there's a pirate, for some reason. The calliope synth music is truly awful, as you might imagine.

0:04 Plain ol' Easy, Medium or Hard for difficulty. Since this is designed for tots, I go with Hard. "HAAAARD!" says an unseen voice, creepily.

0:05 Sawing is first up in Free Play, with the Solo Cross Cut.

0:06 Look at that, my choices for characters are Jack, Jill, Bart and Nozawa. The latter is a ninja, and the second-to-last is a pirate. What is this, Pirates vs. Ninjas Lumbersports? "Velly Good!" says the extremely stereotypical ninja as I choose him.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

____________________________________________________

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Calvin Tucker's Redneck Jamboree

Developer: Zoo Games
Publisher: Zoo Games
Release Date: Nov. 17, 2008
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E-10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: A hate crime against rednecks AND gamers at the same time!

0:00 With a title that stupid, there was no way I could resist adding this to my GameFly queue. It's the same compulsion that makes me stare at accidents on the side of the highway. What can I say ... I am an awful person.

0:01 After I insert the disc in the system, the Disc Channel shows a small two-frame animation. Frame No. 1: An overall-clad guy in a trucker cap holds out a flower. Frame No. 2: A cow tittering with her hand over her mouth and a heart over her head. Oh man, this game is going to be exquisitely awful.

0:02 "How many Rednecks does it take to eat a possum? Two ... one to eat it and one to watch for cars." This is what passes for a joke on the initial loading screen.

0:04 This may be the first game I've ever played that has an option to enable or disable a "Cow lottery event." Someone contact Guinness!

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Friday, August 15, 2008

New Intenational Track and Field

Developer: Sumo Handheld
Publisher: Konami
Release Date: July 22, 2008
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: Disqualified for excessive button mashing.
0:00 The thick of the Beijing Olympics seems the perfect time to try this modern, portable retread of a button-mashing arcade classic.

0:01 An X-TREME sounding-announcer announces the title of the game. On the bottom screen, some extremely big-headed, big-eyed characters compete in hurdles, javelin, running, etc. They all seem stereotypical in some way, from the huge Afro on the black runner to the hair streaks on the "goth."

0:02 "Welcome to New International Track and Field. I am the referee and I will be your guide." The music is a light techno remix of the Chariots of Fire theme. Nice!

0:03 I can choose my nationality from 60 options! Part of me wants to claim to be from Luxembourg, but Olympic fever has got my patriotism levels up. U-S-A! U-S-A!

0:05 I can only choose an Easy Career mode to start. Lame! What if I'm an Olympic-caliber button masher already?

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Rayman: Raving Rabbids 2

Developer: Ubisoft Paris
Publisher: Ubisoft
Release Date: Nov. 13, 2007
Systems: Wii (reviewed), Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Bwaaaaaaaaaaah! Part Two.

0:00 I found the first RRR game to be amusingly odd, if not that great playability-wise. I played a demo of this new one briefly at the last E3 and I'm hopeful about the prospects for more interesting mini-games this time around.

0:00.5 I know this game should be played with multiple people, but there's no one around and I really want to try it out now. So there!

0:01 The Disc Channel Preview screen has this incessantly peppy tune that's just too cute. Also a yellow submarine flying by. Do I smell a lawsuit from The Beatles?

0:02 A Breaking News alert flies on screen. "Hi, I'm Jennifer Hart live from Paris.... large yellow submarines have been identified from around the world." Bunnies invade the standard news scene and attack Jennifer with plungers. Poor girl. She was just doing her job. Rayman shuts off the TV with a disembodied hand.

0:03 At the Rabbids "Super Secret" HQ, Rayman sneaks in to find the deformed white bunnies deep in training. He puts on a bunny ear disguise, inhales some helium and proceeds to sneak in using his best Solid Snake impression. The Rabbids are being hypnotized by scenes of everyday mundane-ness, à la "A Clockwork Orange," but with less violence. Rayman falls through a skylight and is surrounded! The leader Rabbid comes in and everyone stands at attention. He seems suspicious of Rayman, and keeps glancing at the box for the first game to see if he's the same guy (LOL). Ray gives a helium-aided scream to prove his Rabbid-ishness. That was close! He gets led into a submarine by a comely flight attendant Rabbid. SO CUTE!

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Furu Furu Park

Developer: Taito
Publisher: Majesco
Release Date: Jan. 16, 2008
Systems: Wii
ESRB Rating: E10+

In a nutshell: Taito's answer to Nintendo's Wario Ware.

0:00 I played this game for about 10 seconds at E3 2007, and it was mildly entertaining back then. Will it hold up for an hour? I have my doubts.

0:01 Pet peeve: I hate Wii games that don't let you use the pointer to navigate the menus. Using the d-pad is much less natural to me. Oh, well.

0:02 In Rank mode, "Bogey the pig will rank your true nature!" How can I say no to that?

0:03 Bogey is a cute, green pig in a neon room right out of "The Matrix." "You came here so I can measure your true nature and rank you, right?" I believe we have established that. I love the old-school, 16-bit style music.

0:04 I get to choose which five mini-games I'm ranked in. Brain, Power, Balance and Technique are the categories. Sonic Blastman! Pocky and Rocky! Awesome! Puzzle Expert, Unwrap the Money, less awesome.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Looney Tunes: Duck Amuck


Developer: WayForward Technologies
Publisher: Warner Bros. Games
Release Date: Oct. 9, 2007
Systems: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E

In a nutshell: Just Watch This

0:01 An extremely tinny, Looney Tunes-style musical number plays over the title screen. "Well look who's back. You sure took your sweet time getting here. Let's get started!" says Daffy. But... this is my first time playing. That's what happens when you rent from Gamefly, I guess.

0:02 Daffy talks about what type of game it should be. A "strategy quest game"? A "3D games with lots of polygons"? Or maybe one of those mind improvement games. Before I can type this up and react, he's asleep against the stark white background again. Oh well... waiting...

0:03 Tapping Daffy makes him react with some jumpy animation. Eventually, he tells me to "Knock it off, screwball" and brings out some cans of paint. I choose the red bucket, and he becomes a cowboy, complete with desert background. I draw the worst horse ever imagined and he jumps on and bounces towards town.

0:04 Daffy spouts a bunch of Western catch phrases in a saloon and gets ignored. Then he says "Anyone for tennis" and gets corralled into a card game. O...K. The pause menu tells me to deal the cards correctly before time runs out. This involves tapping the deck and slinging the card to whichever of the two players is pictured on the card. Pretty easy.

0:06 Now there's three players and three sections to deal to. This is kind of fun, if a little simple.

0:07 Five levels of this repetitive cruft and we're done. "Tough room," Daffy says as he dumps bullets out of his hat. Back to the stark white background... Daffy's temperature goes up, as shown via a giant cartoon thermometer. Now there's a light slider at the top of the screen. Daffy complains when I turn out the lights, but not much.

0:09 He complains more when I turn the lights real bright. This unlocks a new mini-game... Daffy holds a candle and I have to blow it out before he reaches the top of the stairs. Then he holds TNT and I have to... not do anything. Gripping! This whole concept was done better in WarioWare: Touched.

0:11 Five levels of this crap... most of them just involve watching Daffy and DOING NOTHING as he carries TNT. In level five I have to blow softly to slow him down. Yeah...that makes sense. The slight load time between animations really takes away from the whole thing. Bleh.

0:12 "I wonder whose idea it was to put two screens on this thing. That's using the old coconut." Yay self-referential humor.

0:14 I choose yellow paint this time... Daffy become Robin Hood! He's gonna steal the gold and "return it to the less fortunate... namely me." Heh.

0:15 Another freaking blowing game? This time I have to blow to keep Daffy up as he flies through the air like an arrow. First time out I blow too hard and he hits the top of the screen and falls down. Er, what?

0:16 Second try, I go over the king I was aiming for. It's hard to watch the screen when you have to put your face right up to it to blow. It hurts my eyes. Also, I'm getting spittle all over the screens.

0:17 Three failures and Daffy's temperature goes down. "So what's next on the menu." Maybe something that doesn't hurt my eyes so much?

0:18 Heh. Daffy starts blabbing egotistically about his central role in the game, when a volume knob appears. I turn off his speechifying and he drags out a typewriter to formally request his voice back. Then I get to record something... Wait, was that a mini-game? There was no game there...

0:19 So apparently if I click the light bulbs during Daffy's "What Type of Game" speech (see 0:02 above) I can get new mini-games. The adventure quest is "Diamond Mine! Mine!," a pixelated "low-rent game from the 70s" as Daffy puts it. Shades of Adventure on the 2600. I have to guide the diamond away from Daffy using the stylus.

0:22 I feel really stupid but I can't figure out how to get the diamond by a brick wall. Daffy says I stink, but that's why he loves playing games with me. Gee... thanks.

0:25 After playing around in the options, I choose blue paint this time. Duck Dodgers! My favorite cartoon ever! "That was some of my best work you know." I do, I do!

0:28 This is quite the weird game. I have to make a path for the electricity using green arrows, then crank this tiny crank to get the juice flowing, then pull a switch to transport Daffy so Marvin can incinerate him. It's a bit hard to figure out, even with instructions, thanks to the unfriendly interface. Also, the crank is VERY hard to turn in super-small circles.

0:31 The later Duck Dodger levels get a little interesting, with stuff in the way, but still kind of confusing. When I win, Daffy says "You're disgustable" What! Doesn't he mean "You're despicable!"? Someone dropped the ball there.

0:34 "How is it that I can look so good after so many years, you may ask. Can you keep a secret? Well so can I" The writing ain't half bad.

0:35 I'm not sure how, but by tapping around I somehow activate a game where I have to cut Daffy in half, creating multiple, smaller Daffys, until they finally disintegrate into nothingness. Surreal.

0:37 This has some potential for fun, but the cutting controls are so imprecise and hard to use that it becomes more of a chore. Ugh.

0:41 After failing quite a few times, I finally manage to win by tapping ans slashing like a madman. Overall: Frustrating.

0:42 I try the Adventure clone again and figure out that I can destroy the brick walls with a few taps of the stylus. Me = idiot.

0:45 This Adventure game is actually kind of fun now that I know what I'm doing. But Daffy is so slow that it isn't really challenging. Hopefully there's a master quest later or something.

0:46 So I somehow unlock the recording mini-game again. I have no idea why it's even a game. You record your voice and then... you win? What?

0:50 I tear a hole in the background and then, apropos of nothing, Daffy demands I draw him a new body. I draw him a big green bulbous thing just in time for a tortoise and hare style hurdle race. Wait... that was a Bugs Bunny cartoon. There weren't enough Daffy moments to swipe from?

0:52 This is actually a lot easier if I turn the DS sideways, like a book. Up and down swipes are a lot easier than left to right, for me. I win all five races easily, despite some tough, unresponsive controls.

0:56 "I should be one of those new-fangled 3D characters. That's where the money is." Heh. 3D Daffy has like ten polygons total. "This is next-gen?" Heh x 2.

0:58 I fail Level 1 twice before I realize I'm SUPPOSED to make Daffy hit the bombs. It's hard to remember sometimes that my goal is to make Daffy's life a living hell.

1:01 Making Daffy die is actually kind of tough by level 5. "So much for the latest and greatest. Give me pixels over polys any day." Amen. Also, "Did you know there are 49,152 pixels on this screen. I known because I've counted them all waiting for you to do something.

Would I play this game for more than an hour? No.
Why? There are some inventive ideas here, but the execution leaves something to be desired. I'm glad I played for an hour though.

This review based on a retail copy rented from Gamefly.