Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Developer: Southend Interactive
Release Date: Nov. 18, 2003
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site
In a nutshell: In comic books, everyone can hear you scream in frustration.
0:00 I remember hearing good things about this stylish shooter when it first came out, so I couldn't resist picking it up for $2 during an extreme bargain bin binge. Will it hold up so many years after its initial release?
0:01 A bare bones loading screen crawls along, leading up to an utterly silent title screen with a guy in a flak jacket guarding a mocha-colored woman behind him. "Please press the START button to begin" blinks in an annoying gray box.
0:03 Selectable dfficulties are Arcade, Normal and Realistic. Wait, Arcade is supposed to be the easiest? Some of the most difficult games I've ever played were at an arcade. I go with Normal.
0:04 A cel-shaded, open-air covertible goes through a ticker tape parade, while in another frame, someone loads a sniper rifle. Zoom out to show these scenes as part of an animated comic book. Zoom back in, and a shot is fired. A police officer waves me away as chaos reigns. A bald old bald man smiles evilly. Elsewhere, someone makes a calligraphic "XIII" with a fountain pen. A guy in glasses and a red coat studies the sniper rifle. "Yes, I will continue the work that my brother William started," says a politician at a pulpit. "And yes, there will once again be a Sheridan in the white house!" Wow... the Kennedy allegory was so subtle, I almost missed it.
0:05 The guy in red, an FBI man, apparently, argues with a man in military fatigues, voiced by TV's Adam West."No one can stop me from conducting my own investigation, you hear me, Amos?" the military man yells. Cut to the bald man. "Number XIII will soon no longer be a problem." Cut to a war room: "Gentlemen, we're ready to launch operations." I... I think I understood most of that. Maybe.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
Developers: Namco, Tri-Crescendo
Release Date: March 16, 2010
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site
In a nutshell: One part Japanese philosophy, one part looking for stuff with a flashlight, one part super-simple combat, five parts cut scenes.
0:00 About the only things I know about this game are: 1) the publishers were nice enough to send me a copy and 2) it has a completely awesome title. Either of those alone would be enough to get it an hour of play on Games for Lunch.
0:01 I seriously can't remember the last new Wii game I played that didn't require the Nunchuk. This one is no exception.
0:02 A white-haired anime girl lies on the watery ground. Pan up to a purple haired anime boy with lots of belts on his shirt. Elegant piano music plays over the title screen.
0:03 Part of me wants to choose the Japanese voice actors, because they're almost always better. Part of me wants the English ones just to laugh at how bad I'm sure they'll be.
0:04 Falling through a watery void. A high pitched squeal in the background as the clouds in the sky come into view. "At the very end of a summer that was all too short, the old man I was living with passed away. And even after all the years we spent together I never knew his name. Later that evening, I dug a shallow grave in the front yard of our home and buried him there." The screen fades to black. "At that moment I was truly alone in the world." Creepy!
0:05 Cut to a blocky 3D observatory, with faint moonlight streaming in. "It's so dark I can hardly see," says my character. Me too... I'm tempted to turn up the brightness on the TV. "If I crank open the dome, then I can let in some moonlight."
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Developers: Avalanche Studios, Eidos
Publisher: Square Enix
Release Date: March 23, 2010
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site
0:01 A bit of loading, a bit of logos, and the title screen. A text crawl along the bottom of the screen welcomes me and urges me to visit the web site for stats, official forums and leaderboards. Oh, and I can become a fan of the game on Facebook. What is this, CNN?
0:02 Selectable difficulties are Casual, Normal, Experienced and Hardcore. I'll choose Normal becuase "I'm no stranger to action games and will gladly take on the Panauan soldiers, as long as we play by the same rules." Uh... yeah.
0:03 The loading screen urges me to "cause chaos in any way possible." They mean in the game, right?
0:04 I'm in the "Republic of Panau, South East Asia" according to the title card. A helicopter flies in over the ocean with soldiers inside. "Here we are, Panau island. Southeast Asia's best kept secret," says the blonde woman. It's not US-friendly anymore, since the Panauan president was assassinated by his son. "He doesn't sound much like a people person," says a Spanish-accented man who I assume is my wise-cracking character. I'm being sent in to take down Sheldon, a guy who taught me "everything I know." Holy god is this cheesy.
0:05 We get hit by anti-aircraft fire and some data cards fall out in to the jungle. The blonde girl also falls, but I grab her by the arm and we continue chatting amiably about how important those data cards are. When a random soldier gets shot and falls out, I go and follow him with a "witty" remark: "Aw hell, I was running out of ammo anyways. Don't wait up."
Hey readers. Didja miss me?
So, as some of you may be aware, Crispy Gamer decided to lay off their entire editorial staff back in January. This, unfortunately left Games for Lunch without a permanent home on the web and me without a job. The past few months have been spent trying to rectify both of those states of affairs, leaving me with precious little time to waste writing up GFLs for free here on blogspot (not that writing GFL is a waste of time... but when that time could be spent more productively writing for pay or hunting for work, it was a hard case to make to myself).
Anyway, I'm happy to say that I've found a new
sucker outlet willing to pay me for my stream-of-consciousness ramblings: the good folks at Village Voice Media's Joystick Division. Games for Lunch will now run there every weekday, with excerpts and links posted here, as normal.
Thanks for bearing with me during this latest hiatus and for your continued support.