Dead Space

Developer: EA Redwood Shores
Publisher: EA
Release Date: Oct. 14, 2008
System: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3, PC
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: In space, no one can hear you run out of ammo.

0:00 I'm only, what, five months late to the party on this game that everyone says is a must-play? I'm looking forward to diving in, but simultaneously scared that it won't live up to the exceedingly high expectations set by everyone.

0:01 An EA logo fades out and the title fades in on what looks like a reddish dust storm or the inside of a vein or something. Now that's how you introduce a game!

0:02 Before I can hit start, an ethereal voice starts singing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" as the camera cuts to external space shots of elaborate space freighters drifting. The song continues into the unfamiliar verses: "When the blazing sun is gone/When the nothing shines upon/Then you shine your little light/Twinkle, twinkle, all the night..." As it does the song is intercut with scenes from inside the ships of corpses in space suits and horrible attacks from misshapen monsters making ear-screeching sounds. "Though I know not what you are/Twinkle, twinkle, little star." CREEPY!

0:04 New Game difficulty choices are Easy, Medium and Hard. I don't want to wimp out and pick Easy, but I'm probably going to want to actually get through the game, so I don't want Medium to be too hard. Aw hell, Medium it is.

0:05 "ELECTRONIC ARTS PRESENTS AN EA REDWOOD SHORES PRODUCTION: DEAD SPACE." The scene starts as static, then the camera zooms out to show a blue-and-white video message from a girl. "Isaac, it's me. I wish I could talk to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything. It's all falling apart here. I can't believe what's happening." She looks kind of harried. Zoom out more to show me sitting on the bridge of a spaceship going through hyperspace, with two others standing in front of me. "How many times you watch that thing?" asks one of them. "I guess you really miss her. Don't worry, you'll be able to look her up when we're on board." We jump out of hyperspace and the pair introduces me to the USG Ishimura, the "biggest planet-cracker in her class." It was on a mining mission, but now we're responding to a distress call. "You'd think with 1,000 people onboard, someone would pick up the phone." Dun dun DUN!

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

MySims Kingdom

Developer: EA Redwood Shores
Publisher: EA
Release Date: Oct. 28, 2008
Systems: Wii (reviewed), DS
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: The Cutest Wandolier

0:00 I liked the original MySims quite a bit, despite never actually going back to spend much more time with it after my initial hour. I hope this one has a little more "game" to it and a little less directionless building/exploration.

0:01 The preview screen has an incredibly cheery piano tune that expands into a trumpet and horn fanfare. I listen to it a few times on repeat -- it's just so vibrant!

0:02 Some quick loading, then some Sims on a wooden ship. They come to a kingdom where the king welcomes them. They build a bridge, then get cupcakes. Back on the boat, one guy is sitting on a cupcake. He builds a windmill and a set of speakers for a DJ. The group gets scared in a graveyard. A castle gets built and everyone cheers in front of a statue of someone. Then a rough transition: "Please connect the Nunchuk to the Wii Remote." Whoops!

0:03 The same cheery music plays over a simple menu screen with stained-glass Sims scrolling in the background. "New Game" or "Load Game" are the only options, and only one of them makes sense to me.

0:04 "Once upon a time there was a great kingdom that covered the entire world." You hear that, kids? Hegemony is great! All the lands were ruled by "a kind and wise king: Me, King Roland." He's humble, too!

0:05 Some Sims are Wandoliers who can pick up stuff with a magic wand and build it somewhere close by. But some of the Wandoliers have wandered away, leaving parts of the kingdom in disrepair. Jerks!

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

The Simpsons Game

Developer: EA Redwood Shores
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Release Date: Nov. 1, 2007
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3, Wii, PS2
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: D'oh!

0:01 The demo opens with the predictable theme music and the title coming up through the clouds, just like in the show. Interesting gratuitous shine on the title there...

0:02 Looks like only Bart and Homer are playable in the demo. Because really, who cares about the girl characters? The control explanation screen is littered with stuff, as usual, but it doesn't seem too hard to get used to.

0:03 Kent Brockman is is chasing the Simpsons, who are chasing "an out of control donut mascot statue" -- Lard Lad from that Halloween episode. Fans are probably nodding in approval, non-fans are wondering what the heck I'm talking about. As it should be. Homer says hit to Lenny and Carl while the donut guy brings evil Krustys to life. Some high quality cel animation here.

0:04 Homer, "I wish I had my clown poison." The first of many quips I'm sure.

0:05 The Krustys actually dodge Bart's slingshot attacks pretty effectively by leaping to the side. I was not expecting that.

0:08 There's a lot of stuff going on here if you're observant. I ran into Kang (the alien), I transformed into Bartman to climb a wall and I spied the Frying Dutchman restaurant. A Simpson fanboy's dream.

0:09 So just walking up to and attacking Lard Lad seems ineffective. Time to try a different tact.Meanwhile, Homer scream while running away, "Hey I called no lasers!"

0:15 After wandering around for a while I've seen lots of inside references and heard lots of good lines, but still haven't figured out a way to hurt Lard Lad. Grumble.

0:17 One thing that would be a nice addition -- a map. It would help you find your partner when they wander away at the very least.

0:18 Finally, I get a little Lard Lad help from narrator Brockman. "The Simpsons have got to get into that giant boy's pants." Sure enough, his backside has a big target on it. D'oh.

0:20 One other thing that's annoying... Bart can't pick up certain collectible items, like bottle caps. Why not? Forcing me to switch just to pick something up is not a winning design choice.

0:23 All right! I finally open up the ass and hit Y to tear out some important machinery (after four tries... on the first three hitting Y seemed to do nothing.) Comic Book Guy pops up to tell me I've collected a cliche... "Obvious Weakness." Humorous self awareness, thy name is Simpsons.

0:24 While I'm paused here, this would be a good time to point out the game's amazing aesthetic. It really does look like a Simpsons episode, any way you slice it. Everything is rendered in bright solid colors and moves with life. Lard Lad is especially impressively animated. Bravo.

0:27 A second hatch (just as obvious as the first) appears higher up LL's back. This one requires using the environment to get up higher. Not too hard... there are plenty of things to climb. Quality level design here.

0:30 The camera gets stuck behind a girder here for quite a while. Actually, the camera is the one thing that needs some major work. Otherwise the controls are pretty competent.

0:32 Thankfully, Lard Lad stays frozen for quite a while, allowing you to get to high ground and get in the hatch in the back of the head. Level over! "Eat first, lard crotch," Homer says in a cut scene. Apparently Kang and Kodos were behind everything? That was less than clear in the gameplay. Apparently I missed two more cliches, seven more bottle caps and ten Krusty lunchboxes. Those with no lives will have plenty to keep them occupied.

0:33 Re: the writing, I'm not including many quotes because if I did there would be nothing but quotes in this review. If you've never watched the show it won't be quite as funny, but seriously, why haven't you watched the show?

0:34 A short video shows parodies of Medal of Honor, World of Warcraft, Katamari Damacy, Football, Street Fighter, and Donkey Kong. Plus probably more I missed. Krusty lists features including 16 parody-packed episodes, the ability to interact with 170 characters, and playable Maggie. Finally!

0:35 Not much more to do except play the level again to find more hidden stuff. Seems fun to do but boring to read about, so I'll cut it off for now.

Would I buy this game based on the demo? Yes
Why? The actual gameplay is pretty basic (if well executed) but the Simpsons references and witty parody make it a winner.

This review based on a demo downloaded from Xbox Live.

MySims

Developer: EA Redwood
Publisher: EA
Release Date: Sept. 18, 2007
System: Wii (reviewed), DS
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: The Sims, but cuter.

0:01 The EA logo flashes by, followed by some super-cute, super-rounded Sims pushing the game title into place, smiling and waving all the while. Oh my are they endearing.

0:02 A black-haired girl in pigtails and a sushi chef with a sushi hat are disturbed from their activities when houses start falling from the sky and morphing at random. It's madness! No, it's just another day for the Sims... everyone seems pretty happy with their state of affairs.

0:03 I name the town Wiiville, for obvious reasons. Mayor Rosalyn P. Marshall tells me the story of the town... that I just created. Hmm. It used to be full of life and happy, unique Sims thanks to a super-powered freak who built things using "Essences." But then he left and the Sims, atrophied after generations of not having to lift a finger, were left in squalor. People started to move away. But a new person who can use essences! Who could it be? I have a guess...

0:05 Build-a-Sim time. There are an impressive number of options for everything from hairstyle to dimples, but you have to cycle through them one by one. You can even choose a voice and pitch. One worry -- the loading is kind of jerky and the frame rate gets jumps up and down... and the game hasn't really even started yet!

0:07 I name my buck-toothed, blonde-haired, dark-skinned, bewhiskered boy Ug Lee, for obvious reasons.

0:09 Ug walks himself to town hall to meet the mayor. I get some slantwise views of the town, which doesn't look too worse for wear. Everything is extremely brightly colored, even if some of the buildings are falling apart.

0:10 So the Sims speak in the usual Pidgin Simlish, but also their words appear as text in boxes on the bottom of the screen. Odd. Mayor Rosalyn: "Oh I love paperwork so much!" It takes all kinds I guess. Even wholly unrealistic kinds.

0:11 The mayor apparently has nothing better to do then lead me to my new house, so I follow her out. "Oh, no! There's no house here! How embarrassing..." And the award for understatement of the year goes to... "Well, you're a good builder, so let's try building now." Jeez... first you don't have a house for me, now you make me build it on my own! Talk about presumptuous!

0:13 The loading hasn't been too bad so far, but it's relatively persistent... maybe five seconds or so every two minutes or so, every time the scene changes. It's getting a bit annoying.

0:16 The house-building tools are pretty intuitive -- pick up a bock and slide it into place with the remote, rotate it with the control pad. It's a bit weird building a house out of huge blocks instead of walls and the like. I finish up a pretty basic block house, but before I can check out my handiwork, though, the mayor drags me off to find out about "essences."

0:18 I really like the dual Nunchuk/pointer controls here. One hand shakes a tree with the remote, the other moves my Sim to collect the fallen fruit with the control stick. Easy as pie.

0:20 "Splash in fountain" should be an option in every game. EVEN GAMES WITHOUT FOUNTAINS!

0:21 The map has the nice feature of letting you mark a location and guiding you to it with an on-screen arrow. Nice touch for a guy with no sense of direction like me.

0:22 I finally get to inspect the inside of my house. It's sparsely decorated with a mirror, a bed, a dresser and a kitchenette for one. What am I, Amish?

0:24 The "be mean" option causes me to bop the mayor in the back of the head. I pick up the teardrop shaped "sad" essence she drops and add it too my bag. That's right... I thrive on other people's sadness! MWAHAHAHAHA!

0:26 I've got to build my own workshop, too? What's wrong with this cheap-ass town?

0:29 I do the workshop up right, with skylights, a picket fence, a lawn gnome, and a pink flamingo on the multi-tiered roof. It's a thing of beauty. I could play with this building designer all day.

0:33 I'm building a chair in my workshop now. Everything snaps into place so nicely. You can stick to the 3D blueprints or go nuts and build outside them. I make a monstrosity of a chair that looks more like four chairs stuck together. That's right. I've gone MAD WITH POWER!

0:35 It's twilight now as we walk to place the Franken-chair in my house. While I'm at it, I place my bed in the living room, which gives my house a 1% "tasty" rating. Placing an apple on the floor raises it to 2%. Who knew?

0:38 Mayor: "Brilliant! That's how to redecorate your house." Er... did you see the apple on the floor? Or the bed in the living room?

0:39 That's it for the tutorial for now. The mayor tells me to talk to people about town and gives me blueprints to make some more stuff. I put on my finest cowboy outfit and get ready to go out on the town!

0:41 ...after a quick nap that is. Unlike other Sims games., there seems to be no biological need for sleep. So what's the point? Just to watch my Sim nap? Cuz that's a little creepy.

0:42 Ug wakes with a start and I get two "scary" essences for my nightmarish trouble. So I guess it was a good dream?

0:44 Mini-game time. I go fishing for essences in the pond outside my house. Just point at the bubbles, hit B and pull. I catch four rainbow trout, six clown fish and two tires. Ha!

0:47 Another mini-game... prospecting. This one just involves walking around until the metal detector goes off and tells me to dig. I find some cement blocks and some eight balls. Groovy.

0:48 In the hotel, Buddy the bellhop busts out a Game Boy. He seems annoyed when I interrupt him to talk. Then he tells me is to get see the mayor. Boring.

0:49 I practice being "nice" and "mean" on buddy. Oh man, the animations are SO CUTE. So far I've blown him a kiss, patted him on the back, and socked him in the nose, the last one leading to a huge, cartoony dust cloud fight (which the bellhop won). Buddy's reaction to all three are priceless!

0:51 An on-screen tip keeps telling me to go to see the mayor, so I guess I'd better do that. But first, let's remodel the hotel! Yay!

0:53 I reduce the hotel to a mere shadow of its former self -- just a sliver of a building. Yet when I go in it's just as spacious as ever. What is this, a Harry Potter book?

0:54 Always take time to smell the daisies. AND THEN DESTROY THEM BY STOMPING WITH YOUR HUGE BOOTS. BWAHAHAH!

0:55 Poppy's flower shop is nice, but I can't seem to... oh, what's the word... BUY FLOWERS in it. Seriously... what's the point of a flower shop that won't sell you flowers?

0:57 The way to the ranch is blocked by rocks that I can't get through. "Maybe if you had the right tool." Nice to see the town will get bigger later.

0:58 "Nekkam bazarka... blerp!" the Mayor tells me. This roughly translates to "Build me a podium, jackass! And make sure it has four red apples on it! Or else!" Roughly. Nowhere in there does she say what's in it for me.

1:00 Between playing slapfight with the mayor, splashing in the fountain, and planting apple trees, I seem to have forgotten all about that task. What was it again?

Would I play this game for more than an hour? Yes
Why? Great interface, open-ended structure and some of the cutest characters I've ever seen.

This review based on a retail copy rented from GameFly.