Joe Danger

Developer: Hello Games

Publisher: Hello Games

Release Date: June 8, 2010

System: PlayStation 3

ESRB Rating: E

Official Web site

In a nutshell: Excitebike + Tony Hawk's Pro Skater = AWESOME!

0:00 I really liked the old-school feel of the five minute demo I played at PAX East. But what really pushed me to download this one was the passion displayed by developer Sean Murray at last week's Develop conference.

0:01 Nice cheery guitar, bass and maraca music over the preview screen as the square-jawed protagonist stands at the foot of a ramp, smiling. I'm grinning like a fool already.

0:02 A cassette tape appears in the corner of the black screen during the loading. Is this a reference to those old tape-loading systems or something? That's before my time, sadly.

0:03 "J-j-j-j-j-j-joe DANGER!" says an over-caffeinated anouncer "Folks, let me tell you about Joe Danger," says a grizzled sounding man. "He was the world's most determined stuntman. That was a long time ago, back then he was a household name ... But it all went wrong. They said he'd never walk again, but he showed 'em. Now he wants to make his comeback. Maybe YOU can help." This quick story is accompanied by old newspapers and billboards showing Joe with a '70s mustache. Cute and, more importantly, QUICK!

0:05 The menu is a sort of trailer park. I zoom in on "Stunt Weekly" and choose "Joe Danger Returns," my only option. My mission is to "Collect all the Ministars?" Um.. "all the Mobsters?" This text is nearly unreadable on my 20" standard def TV.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT<--***

***-->JOYSTICK DIVISION<-***

___________________________________________________

Trials HD

Developer: RedLynx
Publisher: Microsoft
Release Date: Aug. 12, 2009
System: Xbox 360
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: If real motorcycling is this hard, no wonder there are so many accidents.

0:00 After hearing this one frequently described as the second coming of the NES favorite ExciteBike, I figured $15 wasn't too much to ask.

0:01 "Monday Monday Monday. It's Monday Night Show Tiiiime," says an announcer over the introductory logos. Drum-heavy generic rock over a simple, dirty title screen.

0:02 Controls look simple enough ... gas and break on the shoulder triggers, lean forward and back with the analog stick. Let's go!

0:03 Difficulty choices are Beginner, Easy, Medium, Hard and Extreme. I start with Beginner, even though I assume it will be totally simple and boring. I start the tutorial in the only available bike, a tiny Turtle 80cc. Looks way too small for my large, muscular rider.

0:04 I hold down RT to go full-throttle right out of the gate. There are some small ramps, but it's a relatively flat course. I show off on the last straightaway with some wheelies. After the finish line, my rider crashes into some plywood and big rubber tires. Ouch. Already I'm not a fan of the diagonal camera view, which makes depth perception a bit of a problem.

0:05 The next track is full of distracting explosions to the side of my biker's path. I'm doing fine, until I lean too far forward during a jump and end up riding nearly vertically on my front wheel after the landing. I fall over into the world's gentlest crash. It's almost slow-motion.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

____________________________________________________

Honda Superbike World Championship

Developer: Valcon
Publisher: Milestone
Release Date: March 21, 2008
Systems: PSP (reviewed), PS2
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: A game for superbike superfans only.

0:00 I tend to like bike racing games, and this one sounds positively Super. Eh? Eh?

0:01 "Bikes included in this game may be different from real bikes in performance, shape and color," reads a quick disclaimer. So is there any way in which they're realistic?

0:02 Some grainy video of what looks like a real bike races play through an odd filter. Inappropriate opera music swells in the background. The only exciting part is when the bikers fly off the bikes during the crashes. Otherwise, it's kind of dull to watch.

0:03 Most of this minute spent loading the menu screen. At least there are a couple of pictures of pretty girls to keep me occupied.

0:04 The menu screen features more gratuitous hot girls, along with more decidedly low-res video of bike racers. Points for the effort, though.

0:05 The options screen lets me toggle a wide variety of simulation options, including "launch control system," "manual rider weight" and "motorbike damage." Luckily, I can just pick the "arcade" setting and not worry about poring over the options.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer