Enslaved: Odyssey to the West

Developer: Ninja Theory

Publisher: Namco Bandai
Release Date: Oct. 5, 2010
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Boy meets girl, boy and girl escapes from slave ship, girl controls boy through telepathic headband, boy dies if girls dies...

0:00 I've been excited about this one ever since I heard the creators talk about crafting the story at the Develop conference. Early buzz from some journalist pals didn't hurt either.

0:01 An extremely basic title screen features some scrolling barcodes in the background. I press start and it zooms out to show a woman staring at that screen, her face reflected on the blank left side. Her eyes dart back and forth realistically. I like how she flicks the screen to change between options screens too.

0:04 I start a New Journey on Normal difficulty and wait through a decently long loading screen. Chapter 1: The Escape. "Welcome to slave ship 90 en route to Pyramid," says a computerized voice. The camera focuses on a muscle-bound, tribal-tattooed guy trapped inside a large metal egg. He doesn't look happy about it, either. He watches as the girl from the Title Screen breaks out of her own egg and taps some nearby computer screens, triggering large explosions on the other end of the hallway. The guy in the egg screams for help, but only receives a jarring explosion that knocks his egg to the ground and lets him carefully climb out.

0:05 In control, I run towards the open end of the grate-floored hallway. A guy fires at me, then an egg explodes off wall and takes him out. Convenient!

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***-->AT GAMERONI<-***

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Dead Rising: Case Zero

Developer: Capcom

Publisher: Capcom

Release Date: Sept. 28, 2010

System: Xbox 360

ESRB Rating: M

Official Web site

In a nutshell: Beats paying $60 to try out the full game, but doesn't beat paying $0 for a demo.

0:00 I shelled out the five bucks to download this one after hearing from a few sources that it was much more than just a demo for Dead Rising 2. I played the Wii's "Chop 'Till You Drop" version of the original game, which left me a little bit wanting.

0:01 Lots of logos, then a plain title screen quickly fades to a gas station with shambling zombies. "THIS AREA OBSERVED BY COMMUNITY WATCH CITIZENS" says a green street sign. I guess they're watching the zombies shamble all over their community, then?

0:03 My wife, watching from the couch: "This isn't Left 4 Dead? I mean it looks like Left 4 Dead. Not just because it has zombies, but the style too." My wife is very perceptive.

0:04 Some decently long loading precedes a shot of an open road. "This is Rebecca Chang reporting live from outside Las Vegas," says a tinny radio voice. The zombie outbreak has left 100,000 dead and one million may be infected. The military has set up a 50-mile perimeter outside the city, and they have shoot-to-kill orders. So... things are bad, then.

0:05 A guy gets out of a beat up pickup truck. The lettering on his orange shirt reads "IJIEK" for some reason. He walks over to gas pump cautiously and starts filling up. Personally, I'm shocked the pumps still work in the middle of a zombie apocalypse...

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***-->AT GAMERONI<-***

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Mad World

Developer: Platinum Games
Publisher: Sega
Release Date: March 10, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Fucking ream those fuckers with some ridiculously fucking over-the-top violence!

0:00 I believe I bought this one on hype alone, then proceeded to not touch it for over a year now. Let's see if stylish ultra-violence can work on the Wii.

0:01 There's a silent chainsaw blade rotating around the "orld" part of the title. HARDCORE!

0:02 An overhead angle shot of a metropolis in stark black lines on a white background. Comic-book-style panels show close up scenes of disaster -- flaming cars, bridges reduced to rubble. A flaming skyline. "As you can see, all eight bridges to Jefferson Island have been cut," says a newscaster. "There is no traffic getting on or off the island." Communications have been blacked out for 18 hours and the cops have been told to stay away. "We have no intention of giving in to any such demands," says the police commissioner just as a helicopter explodes. The mayor says "all necessary measures are being taken" and that he's personally authorized a special team of marines to go in. I didn't know mayors could just order in the Marines. Isn't that the president's job?

0:04 Zoom in on Jefferson City. A reject from Frank Miller's Dark Knight comics throws another into a flaming barrel. A spiky haired punk waves an equally spiky bat. One more thug beats a defenseless man on the ground. A low zoom starts on my character's boots, then pans up and out to show him taking a slow drag on a cigarette. He reminds me of Hellboy without the horns. "Who, me? Ready as always." Um... who are you talking to? No one said anything requiring a response.

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Crackdown 2 (demo)

Developer: Ruffian Games
Publisher: Microsoft Game Studios
Release Date: July 6, 2010
System: Xbox 360
ERRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Grand Theft Auto minus the boring parts plus a lot of jumping = Crackdown 2

0:00 The original Crackdown was one of my first Games for Lunch and I liked it a lot despite some hardware reliability problems. I quit before collecting every single orb, but had tons of fun before I got to that point.

0:01 A hard-to-read on-screen message tells me I can earn "demo achievements" as I play. Of course, I only unlock the actual achievements once I play the actual game. There ain't nothing for free... even Gamerscore points.

0:03 The options screen has for stuff like Dynamic Range and HUD Opacity. Huzzah-wha?

0:04 I have no friends playing online, but there are a lot of people playing around America, Europe and Japan, according to the handy map. At least, I think those dots represent players...

0:05 Selectable difficulties are Fragile and Tough. It looks like there's a third option, but it's grayed out and so tin that I can't read it on this standard definition TV. Let's start with tough and move it down if/when things get to be too much.

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Ratchet and Clank Future: A Crack in Time

Developer: Insomniac Games

Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment

Release Date: Oct. 27, 2009

System: PS3

ESRB Rating: E10+

Official Web site

In a nutshell: The future looks a lot like the past. And the past was awesome.

0:00 I've been a big Ratchet and Clank fan since their first outing, and my love hasn't diminished much despite yearly updates that don't bring much new to the table. I vaguely remember playing a quick demo of this at E3 2009, but not being terribly impressed with the time-based puzzles.

0:01 Gentle fantasy music plays on the preview screen. What looks like Ratchet on steroids looks out over a cliff edge with some sort of cat thing at his side? What the... where's Clank?

0:02 "The latest update data for this softare has been found." I suppose that's understandable since the game has been out for months now...

0:04 14MB file downloaded and installed. That was relatively painless.

0:05 "This game needs to perform an initial setup process." Of course it does.

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***-->JOYSTICK DIVISION<-***

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Dragon Ball: Revenge of King Piccolo

Developer: Media Vision

Publisher: Namco Bandai

Release Date: Oct. 20, 2009

System: Wii

ESRB Rating: E10+

Official Web site (Japanese)

In a nutshell: "Boy, this is [not] getting exciting."

0:00 I was a fan of Dragon Ball Z in high school, but never really got into the original Dragon Ball series this game is based on. I wasn't a big fan of the last Dragon Ball universe fighting game I played, so my hopes aren't very high for this one.

0:01 As I load up the preview screen, a young Goku cries out: "Boy, this is getting exciting." Um, I haven't even started yet. What's got you so excited?

0:02 Goku, a small boy with spiky black hair and a red karate outfit, runs through a field and jumps onto a yellow cloud. Bald-headed Krillin and other characters wave as he flies by as a Japanese theme song plays. The title appears before a bunch of characters I vaguely remember from Dragon Ball Z appear reflected in Dragon Balls. Blue-haired Bulma rides a moped with Goku in back. Goku and Krillin fight under the watchful eye of elder Master Roshi. A blonde-ahired announcer starts a fighting tournament. Goku flies through a city as bullet are fired at him from unseen guns. In a plane, an old looking green guy rains destruction from above. The dragon comes out of the dragon balls, ready to grant a wish. All the main characters freeze in a big triumphant pose. The title appears again. Feels like an anime opening to me!

0:04 When I advances past the title screen, Goku again tells me, "Boy, this is getting exciting." OK, Goku, time for your Ritalin.

0:05 As I move about the main menu, Goku narrates every available item. "This is where you can adjust all the game's options!" On the options screen, Krillin narrates with a shit-eating grin. "This lets you adjust the size of the screen." Just think, they had to pay voice actors for those lines. That is money that did not go to hiring programmers. I'm just saying.

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Mega Man 10

Developer: Capcom

Publisher: Capcom

Release Date: March 1, 2010

Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), Wii, PS3

ESRB Rating: E

Official Web site

In a nutshell: It's been a while since I threw a controller through a TV, but it might not be too much longer...

0:00 I loved Mega Man 2 and 3 when I played them obsessively on the NES. I loved Mega Man X on the SNES. I loved most of the Mega Man games I played on the PS2's Anniversary Collection. I loved Mega Man 9 last year. I loved the quick demo of Mega Man 10 I got at the Consumer Electronics Show. I fully expect to love this game.

0:01 Mega Man's sister Roll rolls in. "I'm home." "There you are roll. Are you OK?" asks the kindly Dr. Light. "I dunno, I think I have a fever." She blacks out and Light explains that she "has come down with Roboenza. From what I can tell the virus only affects robots." Well, with a name like Roboenza, the robot-exclusivity isn't all that surprising...

0:02 So in 20XX, Roboenza is an all-out robot pandemic, and the humans can't figure out a cure (or even "perform simple tasks") without the aid of their robot helpers. OH CRUEL IRONY! Oh, and a month later the infected robots go crazy and try to take over the world. Of course.

0:03 Dr. Wily crash lands in his classic UFO, which Mega Man catches for some reason. "One of those infected robots went crazy. I've spent the last few days studying this roboenza. But even my genius was unable to find a cure." Long story short, he needs help finding pieces to his medicine-making machine and putting them back together. Mega Man volunteers, of course, and gets an offer of help from the mysterious Proto Man on the way out. "Let's do this." And the title screen appears, with Mega Man and Proto Man in partial shadow. Nice old school music.

0:04 Based on the character select screen, Proto Man has the classic slide, a chargable shot, and his shield can deflect bullets. Mega Man has none of that stuff. So why would anyone choose Mega Man? Ah... "Clearing the game in [Proto Man] mode will not be reflected in the leaderboards." That's OK... I'm not going for leaderboarding. That is so a word!

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Just Cause 2

Developers: Avalanche Studios, Eidos
Publisher: Square Enix
Release Date: March 23, 2010
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: I suppose it makes sense that chaos is hard to control...

0:00 As I was opening this game, my wife noticed the back of the box promised "'relentless adrenaline-fueled action' -- sounds right up your alley." Not really...

0:01 A bit of loading, a bit of logos, and the title screen. A text crawl along the bottom of the screen welcomes me and urges me to visit the web site for stats, official forums and leaderboards. Oh, and I can become a fan of the game on Facebook. What is this, CNN?

0:02 Selectable difficulties are Casual, Normal, Experienced and Hardcore. I'll choose Normal becuase "I'm no stranger to action games and will gladly take on the Panauan soldiers, as long as we play by the same rules." Uh... yeah.

0:03 The loading screen urges me to "cause chaos in any way possible." They mean in the game, right?

0:04 I'm in the "Republic of Panau, South East Asia" according to the title card. A helicopter flies in over the ocean with soldiers inside. "Here we are, Panau island. Southeast Asia's best kept secret," says the blonde woman. It's not US-friendly anymore, since the Panauan president was assassinated by his son. "He doesn't sound much like a people person," says a Spanish-accented man who I assume is my wise-cracking character. I'm being sent in to take down Sheldon, a guy who taught me "everything I know." Holy god is this cheesy.

0:05 We get hit by anti-aircraft fire and some data cards fall out in to the jungle. The blonde girl also falls, but I grab her by the arm and we continue chatting amiably about how important those data cards are. When a random soldier gets shot and falls out, I go and follow him with a "witty" remark: "Aw hell, I was running out of ammo anyways. Don't wait up."

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Super Monkey Ball 2

Developer: Other Ocean
Publisher: Sega
Release Date: Dec. 2, 2009
System: iPhone/iPod Touch
ESRB Rating: N/A
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Super Monkey Tilt 'N' Tumble

0:00 My first experience with iPhone gaming was playing the first Super Monkey Ball on a friend's brand-new phone just after it launched. I found the game to be an impossible-to-control mess, which is a shame, because I loved the console Super Monkey Ball games. Here's hoping this one is an improvement.

0:01 A few logos, then right to the title screen, with a picture of the four core Monkeys and some bouncy, catchy music. Baby has on a Geordi La Forge visor for some reason.

0:02 Mini-games? There are mini-games? Nice! I'll save them for dessert, though. For now, it's on to the main game. There's an option for a tutorial, but I think I know how this works by now and just dive in.

0:03 I pick Gongon, because he's the biggest and manliest of the available monkeys by far. I can spin a globe around to choose what world I want, but everything except for Jumble Jungle is an inky black. Let's do this!

0:04 "Welcome to Super Monkey Ball 2. Let's cover a few basic tips before getting into the game." Wait ... I thought I skipped the tutorial. Oh well. Tilt the iPod to move ... a tilt meter in the corner shows whether you're centered or not. I roll forward down an arrow-straight path and reach the white light as instructed. I like how the game treats holding the iPod downward at a natural, 45-degree viewing angle as "centered." Too many other games force you to hold it level and look straight down.

0:05 A second tutorial level introduces turning, with nice high walls to protect me from falling to my doom. Turns are a little shallower than I expect, but when I slow down they get sharper. So far the controls feel entirely natural and intuitive. I think they may have actually gotten it right this time.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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The Saboteur

Developer: Pandemic Studios
Publisher: EA
Release Date: Dec. 8, 2009
Systems: PS3 (reviewed), Xbox 360, PC
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Grand Theft WWII-era Paris

0:00 I've been interested in this game since I first heard about it back in 1995. Seriously, I feel like I've been waiting for this stylish period piece forever, and now it's finally here just in time for the studio that worked so hard on it to shut down. This is all coloring my perceptions going in.

0:01 A red fleur-de-lis shimmers in the light a bit, then the game tells me I need "1021 MB more free space on the hard drive." It's always something with these PS3 releases...

0:02 The Bourne Conspiracy is taking up 4.68 GB on my hard drive? Good lord, why?

0:03 "The Saboteur needs to perform an initial setup process. This will take about 7 minutes." Well I appreciate their warning me, at least. Let's see how accurate their estimate is...

0:10 The install is done ... almost exactly seven minutes after it started. That's pretty impressive.

0:11 Logos, then a painted red line morphs into a woman's tight-pantsed backside. The line shifts goes down to the title. Fade to a black-and-white Parisian skyline, focused on the Eiffel Tower. Faint sirens in the background. Cut to an old car rumbling down a cobblestone street. There are red lights on some signs, but everything else has a noir-ish grayscale palette. I love the sensuous old French accordion music in the background.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Muramasa: The Demon Blade

Developer: Vanillaware
Publisher: Ignition Entertainment
Release Date: Sept. 8, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Slash-slash-slash-something-about-souls-slash-slash

0:00 I remember hearing a lot about this one at E3, but not so much after it came out. Still, I'm in the mood for some hand-drawn 2-D action today, so let's see if it merits discussion.

0:01 On the preview screen, the logo comes up over a full moon behind black clouds, with a loud gong and the sound of an unsheathing sword. Sleek.

0:02 "Answer the call of the Demon Blade, thirsting to draw and drink blood. Witness the fate of those who've drawn the demon blade." OK then ... I will. The credits start to appear over sweeping harp- and flute-heavy war music. A woman in old-fashioned Japanese garb unsheathes a sword. Two swords sit impaled in the ground in front of a sunset. A hazy forest flies by from a first-person perspective. A lonely warrior with a blue headband stands on a ridge. An old man with a long, white Fu Manchu mustache and beard stares evilly. The sun sets in the distance as the camera refocuses on a bug on a leaf. The full moon flies by a black sky in a diagonal. Leaves fall onto a pool of water, with a carp swimming underneath. And the logo appears again. Color me confused.

0:05 Before moving forward, I have to select my playing style. Muso lets me "cut through enemies easily," and "progress steadily even if you're not skilled at action games." Shura tells me that "to advance, you must evade, defend and use Secret Arts masterfully. Only for the brave." I may regret this, but I decide to be brave and choose Shura.

0:06 Two different stories to choose: The Story of Momohime and The Story of Kisuke. I can't tell any apparent difference from this screen, so I'll go with Momohime, I guess...

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Brutal Legend

Developer: Double Fine
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Systems: PS3 (reviewed), Xbox 360
Release Date: Oct. 13, 2009
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: So metal, it's funny.

0:00 I'm a big fan of Jack Black and Tim Schafer, but not a big fan of heavy metal music. Not even in an ironic, detached way. I just really don't like it. Also, I could barely hear the demo I saw with Gus Mastrapa on the crowded E3 show floor this year. So, I really don't know what to expect from this.

0:01 Before the game even starts, I'm treated to this hilarious sequence of Jack Black one-liners on the PS3 preview screen: "Let's mosh it up! Whaddaya say? ... Time for a mosh pit! ... Come on, dude, how come we're not moshing? ... Yep, moshing time! ... If only we had a mosh pit going on ... Yep, a mosh pit would really hit the spot right about now. ... One of these days, I'm gonna try that mosh-pit thing I've been hearing about. ... Pffft, yeah, mosh pits are probably stupid." I'm already laughing and the game hasn't even started!

0:02 "Version 1.01 of the software is already available." And it's ... a 256 MB download?! Say what you will about the PS3, it is predictable. Oh well. The system estimates I'll be seeing you in 13 minutes...

0:16 I love how the counter says "108 seconds" rather than rounding to two minutes. As if that makes the 15-minute wait so far less interminable.

0:18 Download finally done ... another minute to install, and...

0:19 "There is not enough free space on the hard disk. The game was forced to quit. At least 170 MB more free space is needed." Kill me now.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

Developer: Naughty Dog
Publisher: Sony
Release Date: Oct. 13, 2009
System: PS3
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Ow! I got snow in my festering chest wound. Look out!

0:00 I enjoyed the writing and presentation in the first Uncharted, but stopped when the game started throwing endless streams of ridiculously tough enemies at me. After reading a bunch of reviews that call this sequel the greatest game of its generation, the bar is set mighty high. Will it live up to expectations? We shall see...

0:01 After a good minutes of loading and logos we've reached ... the title screen. Really? That's why you needed all that loading? Anyway, birds fly around amidst golden idols in a sun-lit jungle tomb. Timpani-heavy, John Williams-esque music sets the mood.

0:02 Difficulties are Very Easy, Easy, Normal and Hard. Where's my Very Hard? I DEMAND SYMMETRICAL DIFFICULTIES. Oh, maybe it's locked. Well ... all right, then ... Normal it is.

0:03 There's an option for "Motion Sensor Throw." OFF PLEASE!

0:04 This is the first game I can recall that lets me set the "dynamic range" on the audio. I don't even know what that means, but it can be set to Maximum, Wide, Normal, Narrow or Midnight. That last one sounds cool. Let's go with that.

0:05 Twitter! Yes, the game can update your Twitter account as you play. A few of my Twitter friends had this on, pestering my feed with endless updates on their progress through the chapters. I think I'll pass. I actually like my Twitter friends.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Zuma's Revenge

Developer: PopCap Games
Publisher: PopCap Games
Release Date: Sept. 15, 2009
Systems: PC (reviewed), Macintosh
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Shoot colored balls at other colored balls.

0:00 I'm a huge fan of Bookworm and Peggle, but I've never actually played the first Zuma. That said, I did play Zuma knockoff Luxor for about five seconds before getting bored, so my hopes for this one are not too high. Then again, it is PopCap...

0:01 Lightning flashes over the PopCap logo, and a sea roils in the background during the initial loading. A frog on a raft with boxer short sails floats by. When the loading is done, the sky clears and an island with huge tiki torches appears in the background.

0:03 "Strange frog, why do you intrude on us?" says a hooded black figure. "This island is no holiday resort! Five fierce chiefs guard our mysteries!" "Ribbit," replies the frog. First up, the "Jungle of Mystery."

0:05 So I control the frog in the center of the screen, rotating him with the mouse. A click makes him spit a colored ball at an advancing line of similar balls spiraling around the center. Match three of the same color and they blow up. Match enough and the "ZUMA!" bar fills up and the line stops getting new balls. The mouse-based controls couldn't be more intuitive, and the interface makes it really easy to aim shots accurately. The graphics and sound effects are the usual infectious PopCap fare ... light and airy. I finish the first level in 38 seconds ... the "Ace Time" is 30. "Who are you, tasty frog?" asks the lion waiting a few levels down.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Batman: Arkham Asylum

Developer: RockSteady Studios
Publisher: Eidos/ Warner Bros. Interactive
Release Date: Aug. 25, 2009
Systems: PS3 (reviewed), Xbox 360, PC
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: A rare gaming bright spot for the Dark Knight.

0:00 Despite the absolutely enormous amounts of hype for this one, I've been trying to tamp down my expectations -- it is a superhero game, after all, and they almost invariably suck. I even ignored the demo so I could go into the full game fresh. So ... here we go!

0:01 Right off, I like how the preview screen puts an old-fashioned TV around the tiny video of Batman kicking and punching a bunch of bad guys.

0:02 "There is not enough free space on the hard disk. At least 486 MB more free space is needed." Of course it is...

0:03 So long, NPPL Pro Paintball install data. You will not be missed terribly much.

0:04 "For optimal performance, 2286 more MB of HDD space is needed. You may continue playing, or quit now to free up space." First off, why are you just telling me this now? Second off, hell yeah I want the optimal experience!

0:05 So long, MLB 09: The Show install data. You were incredibly huge and pointless.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Spider: The Secret of Bryce Manor

Developer: Tiger Style Games
Publisher: Apple
Release Date: Aug. 10, 2009
System: iPhone/iPod Touch
ESRB Rating: N/A

In a nutshell: The secret is that there are games this good on the iPhone!

0:00 I've lost count of the number of sources I've seen in the past week hailing this one as a groundbreaking, important, essential addition to iPhone gaming, so $3 sounds like a small price to pay to try it out.

0:01 Zoom in on a tiny spider standing in a hand-drawn forest backdrop. The title quickly gives way to the first instruction: "To walk, hold your finger on the screen." Pleasant, upbeat synth music propels me along.

0:02 Spider can stick to walls and even the underside of the forest mushrooms. A quick swipe leads to a quick, extremely satisfying jump across the expanse.

0:03 Tap Spider, then jump to create a thread. Create a polygon between threads to make a web, which can act as a platform for more jumping/web-making.

0:04 "Six months later..." The music is now light electric guitar. "Eat bugs to survive. Eating bugs gives you silk and scores points." OK ... so where are these bugs?

0:06 Oh... I thought those tiny floating green things were leaves, but it turns out they're actually the bugs I'm supposed to be eating. I make a quick triangular web with three jumps, then gobble 'em up nice and easy. I jump in a spiraling purple portal to move on, and the camera zooms out to show the entirety of the porch area I've been jumping around. Seeing it from a wide perspective after spending so much time zoomed-in close on Spider is interesting, to say the least.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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MDK

Developer: Shiny
Publisher: Playmates Interactive
Release Date: May 31, 1997
System: PC (reviewed)
ESRB Rating: T

In a nutshell: OK, I'm only 12 years late to the party. What'd I miss?

0:00 I've wanted to pick this critically acclaimed PC game for years, and the recent nomination for the Crispy Adventurers Club seems like the perfect excuse.

0:01 A pure ebony, muscular body with a pyramidal head runs in from off-screen and leaps on top of the MDK logo, sprawling across the top. Weeeeeeird.

0:02 I perform a "settings test" in the option menu and am amazed to see my computer rendering smooth animated 3-D curves. MY computer! The last time I saw 3-D this smooth on my computer was ... never, actually. I should play late-'90s games more often. Anyhoo, New Game.

0:03 "!!!Newsflash!!! A huge City Minecrawler is headed straight for the coastal town of Laguna Beach, USA." I'd ask what a "City Minecrawler" is, but that'd just be silly.

0:04 The game seems to have crashed when I got an instant message. I don't know whether to blame the game or AOL. Either way, I didn't lose much.

0:05 Back in action. Just like that I'm falling through the air. On-screen instructions say "avoid the radar." I'm guessing that's the green laser thing that's sending the missiles with long yellow tails from the ship below me?

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Overlord II

Developer: Triumph Studios
Publisher: Codemasters
Release Date: June 23, 2009
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3, PC
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Dennis the Menace meets Lord of the Rings.

0:00 I liked the first Overlord game just enough to never play it again after the first hour. Will this one hold up better?

0:01 A quick update download, a longish loading screen and a bunch of logos. The title appears in a flash of electricity as a bunch of little goblin-ish henchman dance to string-heavy sword-and-sorcery music. What sounds like a goblin chorus joins in with some chanting as I reach the menu. Cute.

0:03 Lots more loading before the new game starts. "Once upon a time there was an ending. And we minions searched high and low for a new Overlord. We were like fleas without a dog, maggots without a carcass, pimples without a face. And on Midwinter's eve, in the town of Nordberg, we found a beginning." Impressively decent writing...

0:04 My character is a tiny, misshapen, humanish thing completely ensconced in a thick winter coat. I'm brandishing a club and getting pelted with snowballs thrown by off-screen attackers. After them!

0:05 I knock down my child attackers' snowman defenses with my club and chase them down a snowy lane. The animation is kind of choppy -- I blame the overly detailed world. Everything is rendered with harsh edges and deep textures. A lot of random bits of speech from the kids are overlapping.

0:06 I use my lightning magic (I have lightning magic?!) to light some convenient rockets and destroy a house. Why? Because I'm eeeeevil, that's why.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Eliss

Developer: Steph Thirion
Publisher: Apple
Release Date: March 9, 2009
System: iPhone/iPod Touch
Apple Rating: 4+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Who knew pulling apart planets could be so fun?

0:00 I've heard a ton of great stuff about this little iPhone puzzler, but its appearance on Crispy's Mid-Season Videogame All-Stars sealed the deal and got my $3. I don't doubt it'll be worth it.

0:01 A small red dot sprouts a long black antenna, which bursts into a blocky "ELISS" title, Nice old-school chirping when I tap the menu buttons.

0:02 The "How To" section is a bunch of IKEA-style instructional images with short, cryptic instructions. For instance: "Objective: Supernovas" shows a finger dragging a yellow circle into a hollow, yellow flower-thing to increase a rainbow-colored counter. I think.

0:03 If I'm interpreting these images correctly, a circle (planet) has to be the right size for its flower ("squeezar"), and different-colored planets colliding is a bad thing. I can put together and pull apart planets to change their size, and use multiple fingers at once to move them about. Also, the supernovas create stardust that I can tap to regain health. I think.

0:04 This "Danger" image makes no sense to me. It shows a planet and a sun colliding? I guess I'll figure that out as I play. Headphones are recommended, so I get some out. OK, ready as I'll ever be. Here we go!

0:07 I start with Sector 1, as I must. It's almost a complete disaster, as I'm so distracted by the trippy vector graphics and interesting music that I have trouble moving the red and yellow planets apart quickly enough. Eventually I focus and start clumping colored planets together in order to keep them separate more easily. All the squeezars are huge, so all I have to do is combine and fill. Complete! I'm betting it gets harder than this...

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Knights in the Nightmare

Developer: Sting
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: June 2, 2009
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: What the hell is going on? Oh, that's what's going on? OK, that's pretty cool then.

0:00 In my experience, knights don't usually show up in the nightmares, but in good dreams. Buff, sparkling knights, with broad shoulders and rippling pecs, rescuing me from ... well ... perhaps I've said too much.

0:01 A story scrolls by WAY too fast for me to read it. All I caught was something about the "Island of St. Celestina." Anyway, we're off watching a woman in white hover down a lavish hallway, battling enemies as she goes. "I must hurry ... before the nightmare engulfs me. Before the wisp of hope is lost. I have to survive! ... To regain what was lost." As she escapes into the night, a crowd of voices calls out that they have to find her. The fast-paced music transitions to gentle piano and strings as the title comes up over a red castle in the distance. Powerful!

0:03 Let's go with "Teachings" before starting the game. "First Steps" is for first time players, and has 10 sub-categories. Good lord!

0:06 Interesting ... moving the stylus around on the touch-screen moves a little white "wisp" on the top screen, which can be used to select characters on an isometric grid. Hold it there to charge up an attack, then point in the direction of an enemy and FIRE! "Ready ... I'll cut you in two! It worked!" says my character with genuine surprise in his voice.

0:08 Hmmm ... enemies shoot bullets that don't hurt my character but DO hurt the stylus-controlled wisp. All the twitchy action of a shoot-'em-up with all the strategy of a tactical RPG. I like it!

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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