Pokémon Platinum Version

Developer: Nintendo
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: March 22, 2009
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Really? I've gotta catch 'em all? Again? Oh man...

0:00 It's appropriate that this game is named after a precious metal, since the last true Pokémon game I played was named after a precious gem (Emerald). Right? Appropriate!

0:01 The Pokémon logo appears with all the subtlety of a freight train on the top screen. On the bottom screen, a vignette of overhead shots of simple 3-D towns. Then two trainers run on both screens, one boy and one girl. Manga-style action as they throw Pokéballs to release ... a bunch of Pokémon I don't recognize. Who are all these guys? Then an evil-looking guy with evil-sounding music, red eyes peering from a dark void above a smiling red mouth. The title appears on the top screen while a floating yellow and red form shows on the bottom.

0:03 "Hello there! It's so very nice to meet you!" says a faceless voice. "Welcome to the world of Pokémon!" It's Rowan, a guy in a blue vest with white hair and a bushy mustaches. Everyone calls him the professor.

0:04 "You are about to enter a world where you will embark on a grand adventure of your very own." Imagine that ... adventure in a videogame!

0:05 "On your travels, we hope that you will meet countless people and, through them, achieve personal growth. This is the most important objective of this adventure." This is so sickeningly sweet I think I'm getting diabetes.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer