NFL Tour

Developer: EA Tiburon
Publisher: EA Sports BIG
Release Date: Jan. 8, 2008
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: The National Self-parody League

0:00 I absolutely loved Midway's NFL Blitz games, and have been looking for a replacement ever since that series stopped. I'm also a fan of EA Tiburon's NBA Street, so I have high hopes for this one.

0:01 Fireworks and bright lights over a multicolored field. Football players without pads, getting thrown about. Leaping catches with pyrotechnics in the background. Streaky effects behind the runners. Players bouncing off padded walls. More fireworks! Even more fireworks! This music is pretty catchy, and... title!

0:02 I choose "PLAY NOW" and dive into a Bears vs. Colts match-up. I'll figure it out, right?

0:04 "We've got a great match-up tonight on the NFL Tour," says an off-screen announcer. He does not elaborate on this at all.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Def Jam: Vendetta

Developer: EA Canada
Publisher: EA Sports Big
Release Date: March 3, 2003
Systems: PS2 (reviewed), GameCube
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: Rappers doing what they do best. Wrestling!

0:01 "Used to be, you wanted to make yourself known, you proved yourself as a a street fighter or hustler." Now you... what, get an MBA? "I'm a businessman, and this is my business."Who are you, again?
0:02 Tutorial time. "This red bar is your health meter and indicates your remaining health." Oh really. That's interesting, because I've NEVER PLAYED A FIGHTING GAME BEFORE EVER!
0:03 The guy narrating the tutorial videos is the whiniest guy I've ever heard. It's especially weird considering the whole hug image this game tries to pull off. Did they just grab a random programmer?
0:06 I hate these video tutorials. Unitl I actually do it, I won't be able to remember all this stuff. Ground grapples, momentum, snake whips. Too much!
0:08 Still on the video tutorials. A guy is dazed on the corner of the ropes, and the other guy straddles his face and flips him with his legs. This is a little homoerotic for my tastes.
0:09 Briggs, Proof, Spider and Tank are my options.It's a bit weird to see a token white guy for once. Why is charisma a statistic. Is this a tabletop RPG or a fighting game?
0:10 I really like the slightly elongated, expressive facial modeling. It looks a little unnatural but not creepily unnatural. Great animation too, especially for the PS2.
0:11 Not two seconds into the match a big guy comes running at me and drops me. Ouch!
0:13 The big guy is now literally grinding his butt into my face. The game has just gotten WAY too homoerotic for my tastes.
0:14 I finally get off a pin after five tries. So far the gameplay mostly consists of jamming on square, and it seems to be working. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I get graded a D, but I still won.
0:15 "Drake: This ain't no tickle fight, little man." Thanks for clearing that up.
0:17 Another pin, much quicker this time. He barely touches me. The button-mashing nature of this game is becoming increasingly clear. I get a B for hitting square a lot, essentially.
0:18 Scarface is so big he blocks my view of my character. Weak.
0:21 Scarface is the first opponent who actually seems to know what he's doing. He blocks and reverses and actually grapples. Gotta figure out what to do about that.
0:24 I try to lift Scarface, who weighs about 4 million pounds, and my character just sits there straining. Ha!
0:26 After pulling off an early lead with a lot of grabs, I manage a pin after a way-too-long match. I get a B and $12,000.
0:28 You can use your money to by photos of girls. Whoo! That's a feature I always look for in my games.
0:29 The cheering crowds really add to the atmosphere.
0:32 You know what I love. Being so dazed from a move that I can't do anything before the opponent sets up his next move. I also love endless tapping buttons to do basic things like stand up. I absolutely LOVE it.
0:33 This guy is really good at reversing most of my moves, but still susceptible to one thing -- quick grabs and drops. It's almost too easy.
0:35 I activate blazin' mode for the first time, but forget to do my super secret finishing move. Oh well. I've played Mortal Kombat. I doubt these are better.
0:37 Sketch literally reverses everything I throw at him and leaves me dazed for tens of seconds at a time. End it already!
0:38 He ends it by playing jumprope. With my body. Ouch!
0:41 I have some fun playing coward and leaving the ring over and over while my health replenishes. He can't touch me. It's lame, but I'll take advantage of it if the game allows me to.
0:44 I have no idea how I'm doing most of my moves -- the same exact button inputs do vastly different things. Can't manage to consistently pull of reversals either, of figure out why the opponent reverses me. It's mostly just random button mashing to me.
0:47 This match has been going on for eight minutes now. He keeps getting me into the danger zone and refusing to pin me. Why?
0:48 I finally pin him after getting a few lucky shots in. I did not deserve to win that match at all. I got a B. Go figure.
0:49 Two women are fighting over me in a cut scene. Did they see the last match? I get to choose one of them for my girlfriend? Sweet!
0:50 The cat fight wasn't just verbal... my girlfriend and her rival are going at it in the ring. "I want to hear you scream." Subtle.
0:51 Is it a bad sign when fighting with your randomly chosen girlfriend is hard to distinguish from the character you've been building up for five fights? Seriously, the moves and strategy are pretty identical.
0:52 I get off a reversal without even being aware I was trying to pull one off. Whoot!
0:54 My opponent goes Blazin' and I just avoid her by constantly leaving and re-entering the ring. This should not be so easy. 0:55 I don't know how I do the moves, but they look really good when I do them.
0:57 Another come from behind pin that I didn't deserve. What is wrong with this game?


Would I play this game for more than an hour? No
Why? I prefer fighting games that are more about strategy and less about mashing buttons and watching animations.

This review based on a used, purchased retail copy.

SSX Blur

Developer: EA Sports BIG
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Release Date: Feb. 27, 2007
System: Wii
Official Web page

In a nutshell: Nothing makes you feel more like a snowboarder than waving a remote around.

0:01 Any game that features a character named "Psymon" in its intro. starts out with a strike against it.
0:02 The game feels the need to explain how to use the Wii remote as a pointer. Possibly the most intuitive console interface ever made, and still they need to give directions.
0:05 Working through the tutorial. Using the controls stick in conjunction with tilting the Nunchuk isn't immediately intuitive, but it shows promise.
0:10 Using a whole 'nother hand for the tricks will take some getting used to. If they tried, they coulda made this a one-handed game.
0:11 Just noticed that the music stops when you do. Nice touch.
0:16 After trying for five minutes straight I have yet to get off a single Ubertrick. There's nothing on-screen to show where you're pointing as you gesture. Annoying!
0:20 Only 4 of 12 characters available at the outset? I guess without Achievements they need something to keep you playing. Remember when playing used to be reward enough?
0:24 I have so much trouble getting points on the halfpipe I forget to finish. Still having some trouble with the trick controls.
0:27 Finish third place in the halfpipe this time. Getting more used to the controls, but I can't shake the feeling that there's less variety in the tricks than other SSX games. I still can't figure the Ubertricks for the life of me.
0:29 The loading is between events is short but still annoying. If you're going to make the game one big mountain, it should be a seamless getting from place to place..
0:33 The Kick Doubt mode doesn't give you enough time to finish. I want to do tricks, not focus on getting to the end.
0:36 The trick controls are way too sensitive. I'm pulling off tricks even when I don't mean to. I find myself missing the simplicity of controller buttons.
0:40 The slalom points out the difficulties with the tilt controls. I just can't turn sharply enough.
0:43 I figured out the problem. My natural inclination is to point the Nunchuk right and left instead of rolling it like the game wants. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get over my predelictions.
0:45 The music is nice and ambient, capturing the mood well without being distracting or annoying. I like the character animation too.
0:48 Trying to do ubertricks again on the halfpipe. Nothing doing. Would it kill them to put a pointer on the screen?
0:53 A race, finally. It's ind of lonely with only one competitor. Doing tricks doesn't seem to have direct correlation to speed... I miss the turbo from previous games.
0:56 For a game that traditionally encourages finding shortcuts, this one is pretty harsh about reseting you if you go off the beaten path.
0:58 My wrist hurts from constantly jumping.

Would I play this game for more than an hour? No.
Why? Let's put it this way -- the answer would probably be "Yes" if the game used a standard controller with buttons and such.

This review is based on a full version of the game rented from Gamefly.