Red Steel

Developer: Ubisoft Paris
Publisher: Ubisoft
Release Date: Nov. 19, 2006
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: T

In a nutshell: Red = blood. Steel = swords and guns.

0:01 The intro screen has you pick up a "New Profile" ticket and drag it on to a panel. Um, why can't I just click the A button?
0:03 "Look at these fish Scott, aren't they pretty." As opening lines go, there are worse. Not that I can think of any at the moment.
0:04 The entire game industry seems enamored with these comic-book panel cut scenes at the moment. The voice acting is pretty good, but the writing is a little too expository for my tastes.
0:06 The subtitles don't translate the Japanese speech, just transliterate it.
0:07 Someone just shot my girlfriend's dad and we're ready for action! I don't have a gun yet, so there's not much I can do but listen to the pleas of my girlfriend as she's taken off.
0:09 My character's arm moves along with the aiming reticle. Very distracting. I like using a push of the Nunchuk to push stuff over/open.
0:10 My first firefight. The aiming with the remote is a little tough to get used to. When you aim too far left or right, the screen jerks to that side. Why can't reticle just stay in the middle of the screen as your view moves?
0:12 Being able to lock the camera on enemies is a nice touch. It keeps the camera steady but still requires you to aim. Pushing the remote in and out to zoom is awkward.
0:15 Pet peeve #1: If I'm not active shot for about 5 seconds I seem to regain all my health. Takes away lots of the tension.
0:17 "You can only carry two weapons at a time." That's bull. I could stuff at least 5 guns in my pants. Er, don't ask me how I know that.
0:18 Nice of them to give me unlimited Uzi ammo to shoot up the stockroom. Seriously, it's fun.
0:21 I take out three guys with guns blazing and end up on the brink of death. But after I stand in a corner for five seconds, I'm good as new.
0:25 I regain my health once or twice in the middle of a firefight, I regain my health twice. Can I at least turn this effect down or something? i can't seem to keep remote pointed at screen, or aim with consistency.
0:29 And with the push of an elevator button, the first mission ends a bit anticlimactically. My accuracy was awful, but my zero respect points earned me an A. Wha?
0:30 "A sword? Here? Take it!" A plot device? Here? Take it!
0:31 "Watch out for his attacks. Try to dodge them, left or right." Thanks, Obvious-Man!
0:33 The dodging controls are decent enough, but I can't get the game to register my swings. Also, I can't fight the nagging feeling that I could just, um, shoot the guy with my gun. We are fleeing for our lives here... who cares about the honorable thing to do?
0:36 The defensive controls seem to work great in sword fighting, but I can't seem to get the slashes to register most of the time.
0:37 I decide not to kill the guy and get 50 "respects" I didn't know you could pluralize that word.
0:43 Upon walking into an empty room. "Kuso... they're everywhere." Uh... does this guy have early onset dementia or something?
0:44 "A sword and a gun brought me back... not prayers." Uh, don't mention the guy wielding the sword and gun or anything. "This suite might not hold them off long." Does the suite have some sort of laser defense?
0:48 You might think defending a suite against dozens of intruders for 200 seconds is hard. You'd be wrong. It's easy... as long as you have a couch to hide behind to "catch your breath."
0:50 The graphics are a bit reminiscent of GoldenEye on the N64 with a little more polish.
0:51 The piano makes hilariously pathetic noises when you shoot it. The little things matter!
0:53 I'm actually moderately impressed by the enemy AI. They move between cover and don't expose themselves very much. Too bad it's so easy to restore health, or it might be a bit of a challenge.
0:55 The background singers repeat " I see... you very gooooood" over and over until I want to shoot myself. Also, what's with cricket chirping noises every few steps?
0:58 These sword fights are ridiculously easy. Half the time I don't even have to block or dodge, I just slash them. Oh, and after five gut shots from a sword, my health is just fine. Thanks for asking.

Would I play this game for more than an hour? No
Why? Annoying controls, generic, repetitive gameplay and an overly forgiving health system.

This review is based on a retail copy provided by Nintendo.