Pokemon: Battle Revolution

Developer: Genius Sonority
Publisher: Nintendo
System: Wii
Release Date: June 25, 2007
Official Web page

In a nutshell: All the fun of battling cute monsters with none of that unnecessary plot or character development like in the real games.

0:01 Another game that feels the need to explain how to use the Wii remote as a pointer. Can't we just assume that every Wii owner knows how to point a remote at a screen?
0:03 We're flying to the originally named Poketopia. Also: This is the worst text entry screen I have ever seen.
0:04 The Poketopia rep has a Pikachu on her desk. CUTE!
0:05 "A trainer is a character who battles instead of you?" Wha? Doesn't the trainer represent me? And why can't I use my Miis as trainers?
0:06 Unfortunately I don't have a DS Pokemon game, so this will be a somewhat limited experience.
0:08 You can enter your own catch phrases to say in battle. Children all over the world check their spelling on their curse words.
0:09 This woman has to explain every menu extremely slowly. I GET IT! LET ME PLAY! Or at least let me read through the battle tutorial.
0:13 "A Trainer can't use items in this game." What the hell kind of crap is that?
0:14 The type advantage chart is more complicated that the Dewey decimal system. Do 13-year-olds really memorize all this?
0:15 Technician "powers up moves that are power 60 or less to 1.5 times their normal power." I feel like I need a doctorate to play this game.
0:18 Enough reading about advanced Pokemon physics ... time to battle!
0:20 My opponent Zachary is a "Passionate Tider." I thought this was a kids game!
0:22 The announcer calls the battle a "stalemate" after I attack once and the opponent fails to do anything. Uh... OK.
0:23 Six attacks with Staravia's "Aerial Ace" and my first battle is done. That was... exciting?
0:25 What an odd quicksave system... it deletes your data when you load it, What if I want to save a special battle to show friends or something?
0:26 Gabite also has Aerial Ace. It knocks down the foe in one hit. Awesome!
0:28 I try some other attacks that don't do much, but Aerial Ace continues to be "super effective." I've found my new favorite move.
0:29 Nosepass is pretty resistant to my aerial attacks. Hmmm... time to bring out the fire pokemon.
0:30 Only Pokemon would have an attack called "Sunny Day."
0:32 Announcer: "Crushing blow" Screen: "It's not very effective." Make up your mind!
0:33 Machop is one ugly Pokemon.
0:36 I keep Luxio out too long nad he "faints." Are these pokemon or Southern belles?
0:38 At least Buttrefree puts up a fight, but he finally gives in. "I can't believe I lost. The world is such a big place." Huh?
0:39 God help me, I'm actually developing a preference for some Pokemon over others.
0:43 Announcer: "That dealt some massive damage." Shades of giant enemy crab.
0:45 Say what you will, Pokemon has some nice character design. Great, colorful models and cute animation brings the little guys to life.
0:46 Rain dance causes some nice water effects on the camera.
0:49 Nice use of split screen in Poliwhirl's body slam.
0:52 Opposing trainer, on losing: "Failure is part of youth" How depressing.
0:53 I quicksave and head out to try the Wi-Fi battle. When I come back, I have to delete my quicksave? What possible purpose could this serve?
0:59 After 10 attempts the Nintendo Wi-Fi connection refuses to connect. The connection test on the Wii menu works. Oh well.

Would I play this game for more than an hour? No
Why? Without some sort of personal connection to the Pokemon, rock paper scissors is more exciting.

This review is based on a retail copy of the game provided by Nintendo.