Crackdown

Developer: Realtime Worlds
Publisher: Microsoft
Release Date: Feb. 20, 2007
System: Xbox 360
Official Web site

In a nutshell: As a superpowered cop, run around a city blowing stuff up. Oh yeah, and prevent crime, or something.

0:01 The selectable difficulty levels are Tough, Ruthless, and Psychotic. Now that's hardcore! I'm not, though, so I'll stick with Tough.
0:02 "It's all gone to shit and it keeps on rising and it's about to hit the fan." I love compound metaphors.
0:04 The game freezes before I can get into the car. Well that's just great.
0:07 Restart, skip the opening cinema and we're back in business.
0:09 Who needs guns when you can just run over the gang-bangers. Fun!
0:10 I put off getting weapons to do a road race of some sort.
0:11 I can run over lamp posts like they aren't there but fire hydrants slow me down. What the hell?
0:12 The game freezes after race checkpoint 16 of 62. Are we having fun yet?
0:16 One more time!
0:18 I came out of the tunnel and my car blew up. I have no idea how or why. Now I'm being told "death is not the end" because they can clone me or something. What a convoluted explanation for a videogame convention.
0:22 I know car engine noises add realism and all, but who thought that I'd want them to drown out the music? A quick trip to the options screen fixes things.
0:24 Finally some shooting. Tap L, Tap R a few times. Pretty damn easy, so far.
0:27 I somehow get lost on the freeway trying to get to my next mission. Just like in real life, I have no sense of direction. Not like in real life, I can abandon my car and go on foot, which is much more convenient.
0:33 I know I'm a super-soldier cop and all, but it seems I can take a ridiculous number of gunshots without even denting my armor. And if it gets low, I can easily go hide and let it regenerate. I'm practically invincible. Maybe Tough difficulty was a bad choice.
0:36 The game freezes AGAIN as I approach a supply point. The disc looks OK to me. What the hell is going on?
0:39 At least I have some progress saved this time.
0:41 The wanderers in the mall seem extremely blase about an armored guy running around with a gun.
0:45 I take it back, I am not an invincible super-soldier. Going in guns blazing got me blown up good. Time for a little more finesse this time.
0:46 "An additional downloadable content package is required to access this weapon. Would you like to purchase it." No. I already paid for the game. I don't want to buy more pieces of it.
0:51 Nice of these gang member to just stand there while I kill them. Also nice of them not to swarm in on me when I'm at my most vulnerable even though they're only five or so feet away and in plain sight.
0:53 Now I need a downloadable content pack to play a mission I've been fighting to reach for the past ten minutes. Smooth.
0:54 I don't know why I didn't mention it yet, but I love the floaty, hand waving jump animation. Wheee!
0:55 OK, I understand Martinez is a gang leader, so he should be harder than a normal thug, but he's wearing a Hawaiian shirt, khakis and no other protection. How can he take literally hundreds of bullets and still get up? In a game that feels the need to explain regeneration with "cloning" this is "unrealistic."

Would I play this game for more than an hour: Maybe.
Why? As Grand Theft Auto clones go, it's not bad, and jumping from rooftop to rooftop is lots of fun. But three freezes in one hour is simply not acceptable.

This review is based on a rental copy of the game from Gamefly.