Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Go Play: Lumberjacks

Developer: Panic Button
Publisher: Majesco
Release Date: June 9, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: All the nonexistent thrill of lumbersports, captured accurately in a Wii game.

0:00 I know that these games are designed for groups of two or more tweens, and I am one 26-year-old man. Still, it's been sitting on my shelf for weeks now, so away we go.

0:01 The box art intriguingly features a scoreboard with the names Jack, Jill, Bart and Nozawa. Nozawa? Really? That ... doesn't seem to fit with the others.

0:02 The preview screen features a burly man in flannel hitting a tree and shouting "TIIIIMBERRRR!" After quite a bit of loading, the title screen comes up with the same lumberjack in the foreground. Behind him, a slight girl holding a chainsaw that's almost bigger than her. Also there's a pirate, for some reason. The calliope synth music is truly awful, as you might imagine.

0:04 Plain ol' Easy, Medium or Hard for difficulty. Since this is designed for tots, I go with Hard. "HAAAARD!" says an unseen voice, creepily.

0:05 Sawing is first up in Free Play, with the Solo Cross Cut.

0:06 Look at that, my choices for characters are Jack, Jill, Bart and Nozawa. The latter is a ninja, and the second-to-last is a pirate. What is this, Pirates vs. Ninjas Lumbersports? "Velly Good!" says the extremely stereotypical ninja as I choose him.



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