Friday, June 11, 2010

Pocket God

Developer: Bolt Creative
Publisher: Bolt Creative
Release Date: Jan 9, 2009
System: iPhone OS
ESRB Rating: E

In a nutshell: Like Black & White, but with more cruelty and less things to do.

0:00 I think the free downloadable copy of this game that the publishers provided has been sitting on my iPod for over a year now, just waiting for me to have the inclination to try it out. Over two million people have made it one of the best-selling paid iPhone apps out there, so it's safe to say my expectations are pretty high.

0:01 Little native guys are crushed by huge stone "GOD" letters on the loading screen. "Welcome to the world of Pocket God" says a screen with some bouncy jungle music. "Pocket God is an open world where you are the God with the Pygmies, inhabitants of a tropical island living inside your iPod/iPhone." The game then introduces "Ep. 32: Crack is Whack. ... A new god power to cause a crack in the Earth has been added." Hey, they're all new god powers to me.

0:03 The "island" look like a small stone outcropping with a single pygmy walking back and forth. In the background is an outhouse and a bent palm tree. A pygmy goes fishing all on his own before hooking and being dragged down and eaten by a passing shark. Uh... is that "game over" then?

0:04 Tapping around the screen, I've found I can knock on an unoccupied outhouse door, knock some sticks into the water, make a shark jump out of the water, and make a seagull poop. Are we having fun yet?

0:05 Oh, I can also make the sun set and the moon rise. Fireworks occasionally go off in the sky for no apparent reason.


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