Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Gravity Bone

Developer: Brendon Chung
Publisher: Blendo Games
Release Date: September 2008
System: PC
ESRB Rating: N/A
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Heh, this is a pretty cute ga -- what? It's over?!?!

0:00 I don't even remember where I first heard about this game, but it's been sitting un-downloaded in a Firefox tab for weeks now. Judging by the official Web page, a lot of people have been writing about it recently, so it can't be all that bad, right?

0:01 The title appears as I travel down an elevator with elaborate wrought iron gating. Blocky people stand around chattering in suits and dresses as big band music plays. They sound like Charlie Brown's teacher talking in those old Peanuts cartoons. A sign says "Welcome to the Saturday Club" and tells me to use WASD to move around and the mouse to look. In the background, old-fashioned planes fly in front of mountains. Let's do this!

0:03 I walk around the party a bit, and nothing happens. When I try to talk to a party guest, a card pops up in front of me. It's from "TELETRAN SEVEN, private contracting service -- THE SATURDAY CLUB. Business initiative. Wetwork. Go to the FURNACE ROOM." OK ... it's something to do, I guess.

0:04 As I walk up the stairs, a Secret Service-looking guy with sunglasses follows me with his head. He looks sufficiently humorless.

0:05 Through the kitchen to the furnace room, where I jump over the furnace and find a suitcase with a tape recorder. "Deliver this drink to the man with the red hair," it repeats tinnily. OK ... it's something to do, I guess.

0:06 Red hair, red hair ... there he is, looking over the balcony upstairs and wearing a red suit. He takes the drink, guzzles it down, and burps a green gas. "FIND THE EXIT," the game tells me. OK ... it's something to do, I guess.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

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