Monday, July 27, 2009

Vacation Sports

Developer: Mere Mortals
Publisher: Ubisoft
Release Date: March 17, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: If Wii Sports Resort is sold out ... wait for them to restock it.
0:00 Since I'm reviewing Wii Sports Resort for this site, I thought it was only fair to check out what's obviously being released as "competition."

0:01 Right off, I'm jamming to the steel-drum and trumpet-heavy music on the preview screen. This is gonna be in my head all day, and I don't really mind!

0:02 A plane with some creepy-looking people flies over an island that looks REMARKABLY like the one in Wii Sports Resort. On it, people play cricket and throw an American football around. As four misshapen, ugly cartoon people get off the plane, they get leis and walk toward the palatial hotel. In Resort they skydive off the plane. Skydiving is cooler than walking. I'm just saying...

0:03 On to a title screen, where characters that are much blockier than in the intro cut scene awkwardly hurl a Frisbee around. "Hello and welcome to the resort," says a blocky woman in a yellow bikini. She's Lola, and she wants me to have "a great time during your stay with us." I have to go to Reception to check in. Wow ... all the fun of the most annoying part of a vacation!

0:05 So now I'm "Creating a family," which really sounds like a euphemism for something. I choose a watermelon for my family logo, because YUM. Then I get to pick the members of my family. There are 10 people to choose from, all kind of odd-looking, and mostly blonde. For the brother, I pick a guy with an open Hawaiian shirt and a tall buzz-cut. For the rest I just choose the "Auto" option, because really, who cares. "Well done! Your family is now checked into the hotel." That deserves a well done? Ugh.



No comments: