Thursday, June 25, 2009

Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's Wheelie Breakers

Developer: Konami
Publisher: Konami
Release Date: May 19, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E

In a nutshell: Both the best and the worst collectible card/racing game I've ever played. But mostly the "worst" part.

0:00 I'd never heard of this game before it hit my doorstep, but the back of the box seems to indicate some mix of collectible card game and racing game. That's enough to get an hour's worth of playtime.

0:01 When I open the box, a mini-pack of three Yu-Gi-Oh! cards falls out. When I go to the preview screen, an EXTREME rock guitar riff plays. Man, I feel like I'm 12 years old again!

0:02 A cel-shaded racer rides in a ridiculous motorbike with a huge semi-circular back. Quick cuts to a bunch of other racers leaning casually on less-ridiculous bikes. Really bad synth music plays as we see dragons and some sort of holodeck room that becomes a race arena. A racer drops a card in the middle of a track, which becomes a wall. A girl summons a dragon. A big guy has a dragon with chains around its neck. A green-haired girl has a Transformers-style truck instead of a dragon. Two dragons send energy bolts from their mouths at one another. "Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's Wheelie Breakers," says the announcer. Man, I can't imagine even beginning to understand what's going on here. BTW, it's pronounced "Five-Deez"

0:05 I can choose from 15 generic costumes for my gaunt racer. The only difference seems to be color. I go with a timeless white number with black accents and a matching bike. There are 30 more designs to unlock, it seems.

0:07 The options screen lets me toggle something called "Destiny Draw." I leave it on, mainly because it sounds awesome.



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