Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Hysteria Hospital: Emergency Ward

Developer: Blue Star Studio
Publisher: O Games
Release Date: June 16, 2009
System: PC (reviewed), Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Diner Dash with less food and more sick people.

0:00 Usually I'd stay far, far away from what looks like a simple Diner Dash clone, but I got a preview copy in my e-mail box and I'm in the mood for something mindless this morning.

0:01 Funky muzak-style '70s synth plays on the menu screen, with a male and female nurse standing at the ready and staring at me with creepy eyes.

0:02 I enter my name and choose the male nurse character. The female looks so dejected that I didn't choose her. We're talking "slit your wrists" levels of dejected here.

0:03 "Congratulations to all the graduate nurses from the University of California," says a bullhorn addressing a bunch of robed graduates. They throw their hats in the air. Dissolve to a montage of want ads and response letters: "Need experience," "No vacancies," "We apologize." But wait! Maryville Hospital needs nurses urgently! He calls them up. "We've been looking for someone to take my place for ages," says the fat nurse at the counter. I'm hired sight unseen! I fly off to North Carolina and before I know it it's "Day 1, Level 1."

0:04 "First days on the job are always nerve racking [sic]. But if you pay attention to your patients' needs, then you'll do great!" I need to treat five patients and get 600 "Funds." "We're happy to have you on board, let's get started," says the nurse.

0:06 Patients come in and sit and wait on some plastic chairs. I drag them to the diagnostic counter first, then over to the single, "quick treatment" bed. Once I make the nurse get the chart and bring it over, the bandaging up can start. Once it's done, I clean up and take the sheets to the laundry bin. Repeat as necessary. Seems a lot like Diner Dash to me!



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