Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Stuntman: Ignition


Developer: Paradigm
Publisher: THQ
Release Date: Aug. 28, 2007
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3
ESRB Rating: Rating Pending
Official Web site

In a nutshell: The perfect life of a stunt car driver. Or, rather. the life of a perfect stunt car driver.

0:01 "Every mangled mass of steel has a story to tell." Remind me of Optimus Prime at the beginning of Transformers. "A tale of speed, guts, talent, style and a driver willing to risk it all to create Hollywood's greatest moments."
0:03 The tutorial is a stylish video that explains stringing together combos but not, uh, how to play. Guess I gotta learn as I go.
0:04 3...2...1.. Action and... the game freezes! Bad sign, but I'm willing to chalk it up to hardware for now.
0:07 It's hard to tell what's going on... there's so much on screen. Bright yellow and green arrows on the heads-up display help, but it will still take a few tries to get the path down.
0:09 I get farther this time, but I still fail after messing up five individual stunts. I like how there's no load time before restarting the stage though.
0:11 I complete the first stage on my third try with a three-star rating. The replay looks much better than the gameplay, except the camera sometimes gets stuck behind a wall.
0:16 I'm having trouble getting the game to recognize my U-turns on the seconds stage. What more do they want from me? I'M ONLY HUMAN!
0:22 After failing for the fifth time, mainly because of U-turns that I ACTUALLY DID, I turn on easy mode. Nice that they offer the option for such a tough game.
0:24 After performing perfectly for nearly two minutes, I fall in a fissure and fail immediately. ANNOYING!
0:25 I run over a stagehand. No one seems to notice.
0:28 I like how easy mode let's you keep going after you fail. Good practice.
0:30 CRAP! Finally figured out the U-turns, doing absolutely perfect, then fall in a hoole on a reverse 180. CRAP CRAP CRAP!
0:33 THE SAME EXACT THING HAPPENS AGAIN THREE MINUTES DOWN THE TUBES ARGH! Not that I'm bitter.
0:35 I avoid falling in the hole this time, but then I fall in some lava. ARGH!
0:38 I finally complete the scene on easy mode. I get one star... and I'm happy to have it.
0:39 Very French director: "Zis eez ice. Eet will be veray challenging, but don't come crying to me like a baybay." WAH!
0:45 It's impossible to see where to go because of all the explosions. WAH WAH WHINE!
0:55 Driving on ice is like... driving on ice. They want you to plan ahead but the smoke and the contastntly changing environment and the ICE makes that near impossible unless you memorize the course. Yet I'm still trying...

Would I play this game for more than an hour? Yes
Why? Apparently I'm a glutton for punishment.

This review is based on a demo downloaded from Xbox Live.

4 comments:

Brian Arnold said...

I've put in at least three hours with just the demo so far. I can't wait for the full game.

Nounet said...

Funny, the whole review gives the impression that you wouldn't want to play for more than one hour...

I'm waiting for the full game with much excitement, once you manage to handle the demo challenges, you can't wait for more!

Dante Kleinberg said...

The game is SO UNBELIEVABLY HARD and yet something about it compels me to keep playing...

ark_keeper said...

I loved the demo. Funny thing is it's 5x easier than the original Stuntman game.