Joe Danger

Developer: Hello Games

Publisher: Hello Games

Release Date: June 8, 2010

System: PlayStation 3

ESRB Rating: E

Official Web site

In a nutshell: Excitebike + Tony Hawk's Pro Skater = AWESOME!

0:00 I really liked the old-school feel of the five minute demo I played at PAX East. But what really pushed me to download this one was the passion displayed by developer Sean Murray at last week's Develop conference.

0:01 Nice cheery guitar, bass and maraca music over the preview screen as the square-jawed protagonist stands at the foot of a ramp, smiling. I'm grinning like a fool already.

0:02 A cassette tape appears in the corner of the black screen during the loading. Is this a reference to those old tape-loading systems or something? That's before my time, sadly.

0:03 "J-j-j-j-j-j-joe DANGER!" says an over-caffeinated anouncer "Folks, let me tell you about Joe Danger," says a grizzled sounding man. "He was the world's most determined stuntman. That was a long time ago, back then he was a household name ... But it all went wrong. They said he'd never walk again, but he showed 'em. Now he wants to make his comeback. Maybe YOU can help." This quick story is accompanied by old newspapers and billboards showing Joe with a '70s mustache. Cute and, more importantly, QUICK!

0:05 The menu is a sort of trailer park. I zoom in on "Stunt Weekly" and choose "Joe Danger Returns," my only option. My mission is to "Collect all the Ministars?" Um.. "all the Mobsters?" This text is nearly unreadable on my 20" standard def TV.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT<--***

***-->JOYSTICK DIVISION<-***

___________________________________________________

Worms (PS3)

Developer: Team 17 Software
Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment
Release Date: March 26, 2009
Systems: PS3 (reviewed), Xbox Live Arcade
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Cute Cephalopod Carnage
0:00 I've been a moderate fan of this series on the PC side, but I've never played a console version. Here's hoping the mouse and keyboard controls translate to the DualShock.

0:01 Sirens and a helicopter sound in the background of a cluttered title screen. Cartoon bombs, dynamite and sheep bouncing around on a blue background behind the title.

0:02 The available "Game styles" include Beginner, Intermediate, Pro, "BnG" and "Full Wormage." The difference between them is mainly in the amount of time granted for each round. You can also set your own difficulty options and save it, a nice touch.

0:05 After reading through the controls and weapon info a bit, I jump right into a Quick Game. Hopefully my memory of the PC games will sustain me. The system generates a two-tiered ice level, complete with igloos, toboggans and penguins embedded in the ice.

0:06 The AI wastes its first turn shooting shotgun shells into the ceiling. I waste mine trying to jump over a proximity mine, causing it to explode just as I approach an enemy. Seems my memory of the mines wasn't as good as I thought.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

____________________________________________________

Everyday Shooter

Developer: Queasy Games
Publisher: SCEA
Release Date: Oct. 11, 2007
Systems: PS3 (reviewed), PSP, PC
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: What if Geometry Wars were even MORE abstract...
0:00 Despite absolutely loving a five-minute demo of this game at E3 '07, I somehow never managed to actually buy it or even request a press copy. That situation ends NOW!

0:01 A pleasantly small 38 MB download and quick install. All PSN games should be this painless to access!

0:02 "Everyday Shooter: A Queasy Game by Jonathan Mak." There's some utterly simple and charming acoustic guitar plunking in the background of the nice, basic menu screen.

0:04 First, some notes: "In the spring of 2005 I started work on what I called 'the new game,'" Mak writes. It was self-indulgent and "games-as-art-theory-innovation wankery," apparently. Then he went back to his roots: the top-down shoot-'em-up! Yes!

0:05 OK, let's do this. Options are Normal Play and Single Play. I'm married, so I guess Hetero-Normative play is for me. Eh? Eh? *crickets chirping*

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

The Last Guy

Developer: Sony Computer Entertainment Japan
Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment Japan
Release Date: Aug. 28, 2008
System: PS3
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Pac-Man meets Resident Evil

0:00 I wasn't too impressed with the slow, buggy online demo that let you run away from zombies on any Web site, but I did like the general concept. Here's hoping the PlayStation 3 version is a little better made.

0:01 After a BIG seizure warning and an obligatory User Agreement, a breathy announcer croaks out: "The... Last... Guy." It sounds like he's dying. A lot of red guys that look like men's room signs are marching along the title screen.

0:02 How to Play: Rescue the survivors in each zombie-infected town, lead them to the escape zone before the rescue ship arrives. Game Over if I'm captured by a zombie. Simple enough. A few pages of controls talk mainly about how to control the camera.

0:03 A TV test pattern comes up with the logo for U.R.F.: United Rescue Force. I get it -- it sounds like Earth!

0:04 A raspy breathy, tinny Japanese voice (with subtitles) tells the tale. "The year is 20XX," and a mysterious purple beam has transformed people into strange zombies. "Our planet is almost destroyed." Those who were in buildings survived and "have been holding their breath, hiding inside buildings ... awaiting rescue. ... You are the chosen one." As Neo might say... Whoa!

0:05 San Francisco is up first. I have 4 minutes to rescue 1,000 guys. Hey, if it's called The Last Guy, why are there so many guys to rescue? I'm obviously not the last one.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

PAIN

Developer: Idol Minds
Publisher: Sony
Release Date: Nov. 29, 2007
System: PS3 (PSN download)
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Personal slingshot simulator.

0:00 I've been excited about this game since I saw the bone-crunching demo at the last E3. Haven't had a chance to sit down with it until now, though.

0:08 These first eight minutes were spent downloading and installing a "Version 1.5 update" for the game. This is becoming a bad trend.

0:09 Some generic metal riffs play over a title screen that looks like it was drawn on lined notebook paper. "P-A-I-N. PAIN!" the background singers chant. It feels like my emo high school days all over again.

0:10 The single-player mode is locked? Really? I guess I have to go through the "crash course" first. I probably would anyway, but still, I don't like being forced.

0:11 "Welcome to a Crash Course on Pain." Is that a threat? Basic controls: Aim with the analog stick, fire yourself with the X button, and try to cause pain and destruction. Simple enough.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Gran Turismo 5 Prologue

Developer: Polyphony Digital
Publisher: Sony
Release Date: April 17, 2008
System: PS3
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: A somewhat unnecessary update

0:00 The last Gran Turismo game I owned was No. 2 on the original PlayStation. The ones since then have seemed to me to be the same essential game with more cars and nicer graphics. That's all I really expect from this "prologue" to the full GT5, except maybe for the more cars part.

0:05 While I didn't include the six-plus hours it took to download this nearly two-gig game in my clock, I am including the roughly five minutes it takes to install the demo, simply because the idea of installing console games annoys me to no end.

0:06 With the install done, I find I need to sign in to the PlayStation Network to start the game, but to sign in to PSN, I need a system update. GRAH! You're still on the clock, Sony.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

High Velocity Bowling

Developer: SCEA
Publisher: SCEA
Release Date: Dec. 6, 2007
Systems: PS3 (PSN download)
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: Shoobidy-doo-wop Bowling

0:00 After yesterday's disappointing experience with Brunswick Pro Bowling, I thought I'd try Sony's answer to Wii Sports. Who will be best in the better bowling battle?

0:01 Apparently I need to download 30MB of update data to run this game, which I downloaded months ago. All righty then.

0:04 The download and install are finally done. Let's go bowling!

0:05 The game is THX certified. My TV is barely stereo. What a waste.

Read the full review over at Crispy Gamer