Showing posts with label simulation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label simulation. Show all posts

Monday, October 18, 2010

Game Dev Story

Developer: Kairosoft
Publisher: Kairosoft
Release Date: Sept. 10, 2010
System: iPhone/iPod Touch
ESRB Rating: N/A
Official Web site (Japanese)

In a nutshell: A good game about making good games.

0:00 This game came out of nowhere to become the talk of practically every game journalist I know over the weekend, so I felt I had to see what it was about. It seems primed to indulge my interest in the behind-the-scenes of game development, too, so my expectations are pretty high.

0:01 Charmingly old school synth music plays over the title screen. It looks like a pixelated monkey is swinging from the G in the brightly colored title. New Game.

0:02 The default name for my company is Sunny Studios. Boooring. I got with "! Soft," which is pronounced "Exclamation Point Soft," thank you very much!

0:04 "Hello. I'll be your secretary here at ! Soft." First up we need some employees. A few taps through Menu -> Staff -> Hire. Word of mouth is cheap, magazine and online ads less so. I'm kind of shocked that online ads cost more than magazine ads in this game. I'd like to believe that's true, but it seems unlikely.

0:05 Shortly, three candidates for the job appear: Ann Deroid, Gilly Bates and Biggs Porkins. Cute. They all have numerical rankings in Program, Scenario, Graphics and Sound, as well as various power levels, contract fees and salaries. What do I do? What do I need? How do I choose? Whine whine whine.

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Friday, October 8, 2010

Sid Meier's Pirates! (Wii)

Developer: Firaxis
Publisher: 2K Games
Release Date: Oct. 5, 2010
System: Wii (reviewed), PC
ESRB Rating: E-10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Ay diddle dee dee, a pirate’s life for Wii.

0:00 I put a decent amount of time into the updated PC version of this one already, so my main interest today is how this classic title transfers over to the Wii’s control scheme.

0:01 Nice short trumpet fanfare on the preview screen. Also, the game is saving already? I haven’t done anything yet...

0:03 “It began with a celebration. Indebted for many years to Marquis Montelban a families honor would soon be restored.” But the Marquis and his men come in to seize their property and sell them in to bondage. The boy runs off, refusing to be a slave. Ten years later, he continues his quest for revenge. The familiar opening looks a little grainy and rough on my HDTV.

0:05 I like the default name Incognito so much I decide to keep it. I choose the middle difficulty, Adventurer, because it features more dangerous sea battles and more treacherous villains. I decide to choose gunnery as my skill, since I always had problems aiming in the sea battles of the PC version. Let’s start in the default year of 1660.

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Monday, September 27, 2010

Little King's Story

Developers: Cing, Town Factory
Publisher: Xseed Games
Release Date: July 21, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Farmville + Pikmin + an extra helping of cute.

0:00 I remember hearing surprisingly good things about this one when it hit last year, and it just now finally came up on my Netflix queue. High hopes abound as a trumpet fanfare and little shadow puppets dance around the preview screen.

0:01 A tinny a capella choir sings over the title screen. A velvet curtain pulls back to reveal two small puppets on popsicle sticks dancing about. "I am more noble than you, and he is more noble than me? The rich are more noble than the poor and those who work hard are more noble than the lazy? Than who is most noble of them all." Heady stuff...

0:02 The camera pans out to reveal a boy playing with the puppets. He follows a family of rats out into the forest, where he finds a magical crown. "They say the boy became a magnificent king, and all people and animals, one and all, they all became his loyal followers. and somehow, in some such way, the boy was no longer lonely." The art style and the voice-over narration are incredibly endearing. I just want to melt..

0:04 "Pomp and Circumstance" plays over options screen for some reason. I turn the difficulty up to Hard because I assume the game is tuned for little kids.

0:05 I choose a "random" file name and get the title "King Xerxes." As I start a new game I'm treated to some soaring music over shots of nature rendered in dreamy pastels. "This is our kingdom, the kingdom of Alpoko. Let's go inside your castle. It's a little slapdash, but isn't it grand nonetheless?" This is all through subtitles of the game's Simlish-style language, unfortunately. The title appears for the third time in five minutes...

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Monday, June 28, 2010

Sid Meier's Civilization IV

Developer: Firaxis Games
Publisher: 2K Games
Release Date: Oct. 25, 2005
System: PC
ESRB Rating: E10+


In a nutshell: It feels nice to finally join the Civilized world.

0:00 When people find out that I have never played a proper Civilization game (which does not include Civilization Revolution), they often say something along the lines of, "What's wrong with you? Don't you write about games for a living?" To which I reply, "Ummmmmmmm." Well that ends TODAY with a $5 Steam purchase and a two-hour long download/install. I just hope I don't get addicted.

0:01 A shot of stars. The camera zooms past the moon and over the Earth. Lights start appearing in the fertile crescent as a choir comes in. Zoom down to the coast and we see Roman-style soldiers racing to battle atop a castle wall. Down on the coast catapults shoot fire at ships with red and white striped sails. An eagle calls as the camera zooms up the steps of a coliseum. Soldiers cheer as an emperor steps out, kneels, and has a crown placed on his head by grey-bearded fellow. He raises his arms to more applause and the camera pans up to the sky as the title comes up. Pretty epic.

0:04 My laptop is below the recommended specs, but the game says it has automatically lowered my graphics settings to accommodate. Well isn't that handy.

0:06 Loading the tutorial necessitates restarting the game, I guess because they assume most players won't need it at this point (they've probably played one of the earlier games, after all)? My default Civ is Julius Caesar, leader of the Roman Empire. I'm not feeling creative enough to come up with anything else. A Normal speed and the lowest "Settler" difficulty are forced on me. That's good... I'm probably not ready to go for the top "Deity" difficulty just yet.

0:07 "Hi, my name is Sid. Welcome to Civilization IV!" Meier looks even scarier as a 3D model than in real life. "The objective is simple... create and maintain an empire that will stand the test of time." What if I want a Civilization that descends to anarchy, huh? Who are YOU to set goals for ME?

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Sony's E3 Booth in PlayStation Home

Developer: Sony
Publisher: Sony
Release Date: June 15, 2010
System: PS3
ESRB Rating: N/A

In a nutshell: A bold, annoyingly inconvenient new way to watch trailers.

0:00 I tried out PlayStation Home when it first launched over a year ago and found it extremely boring. But I've been feeling a bit sad that I didn't make it out to E3 this year, so when Sony announced at their press conference that they were providing a virtual show floor in PlayStation Home, I figured it was a good excuse to see if the "virtual world" experience has changed significantly since the launch. My expectations are not high.

0:01 Downloading Version 1.36 of the Home software looks like it will take only take a few minutes.

0:02 And we're all downloaded and installed... only to find that "PlayStation Home is closed for essential maintenance." I bet the real E3 booth isn't closed for essential maintenance.

0:03 Online research suggests that Home has been down since 8 a.m. local time so they can load up a new Home Square and a new Playground area. That means it's been down more than three hours now. Guess I'll pause the clock, grab a shower and a bit to eat and check back later.

0:03 1 p.m. local time and Home is still down for maintenance. Good thing I have other work to do.

0:04 I log in once more at 4:06 p.m. local time and get an "Open Beta Agreement" instead of an error message. And we're off!

0:05 Wow, the text is INCREDIBLY tiny on this non-HD CRT screen. I have to squint and lean in just to read a message introducing the E3 area. Apparently I can also gain access to a "VIP room" with "exclusive videos." All right... now I have a goal for the hour. VIP Room or bust!

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Friday, June 11, 2010

Pocket God

Developer: Bolt Creative
Publisher: Bolt Creative
Release Date: Jan 9, 2009
System: iPhone OS
ESRB Rating: E

In a nutshell: Like Black & White, but with more cruelty and less things to do.

0:00 I think the free downloadable copy of this game that the publishers provided has been sitting on my iPod for over a year now, just waiting for me to have the inclination to try it out. Over two million people have made it one of the best-selling paid iPhone apps out there, so it's safe to say my expectations are pretty high.

0:01 Little native guys are crushed by huge stone "GOD" letters on the loading screen. "Welcome to the world of Pocket God" says a screen with some bouncy jungle music. "Pocket God is an open world where you are the God with the Pygmies, inhabitants of a tropical island living inside your iPod/iPhone." The game then introduces "Ep. 32: Crack is Whack. ... A new god power to cause a crack in the Earth has been added." Hey, they're all new god powers to me.

0:03 The "island" look like a small stone outcropping with a single pygmy walking back and forth. In the background is an outhouse and a bent palm tree. A pygmy goes fishing all on his own before hooking and being dragged down and eaten by a passing shark. Uh... is that "game over" then?

0:04 Tapping around the screen, I've found I can knock on an unoccupied outhouse door, knock some sticks into the water, make a shark jump out of the water, and make a seagull poop. Are we having fun yet?

0:05 Oh, I can also make the sun set and the moon rise. Fireworks occasionally go off in the sky for no apparent reason.

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Thursday, April 2, 2009

Rune Factory: Frontier

Developer: Neverland Co.
Publisher: Marvelous Entertainment
Release Date: March 17, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Charming farming.

0:00 The back-of-the-box description of this game seems a little too close to my experience with the terminally boring Harvest Moon: Island of Happiness for my comfort, but they sent it to me so I'll give it a fair shake.

0:01 Anime intro: A bird flies through some abstract colored grass environments as peppy Japanese jazz plays. A guy with a hoe stands in a field full of yellow flowers. A girl releases a yellow butterfly to the sky. Another girl studies an orb, which becomes wind-blown streamers. A rainbow, a girl in a red robe and a big hat in front of said rainbow, a giant demon against the void of space. The bird flies across water to an island, the boy runs through the fields, sprouting yellow flowers near him as he does. He jumps to the embrace of all the smiling faces of the other characters. If the game is anywhere near this exciting I'll eat my hat.

0:04 The "Memories" screen reveals 31 more movies to unlock. Crazy, jumpy anime fans rejoice!

0:05 "I had lost everything; my memory, a place to live. When I was on the verge of collapse, I met her. She provided me with food, a home, and ... new memories." Not necessarily in that order. I suppose. Anyway, she left so now I'm going off to search for her.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Monday, March 16, 2009

Hinterlands: Orc Lords

Developer: Tilted Mill Entertainment
Publisher: Got Game entertainment
Release Date: Sept. 20, 2008
System: PC
ESRB Rating: N/A
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Equal parts city-building, action-RPG adventuring and frustration.
0:00 When Got Game e-mailed me asking if I wanted to try out a press copy of this action-RPG expansion pack, I said yes. And now you know just as much about the game as I do (or possibly more, if you've played the game or something).

0:01 A vaguely Celtic jig plays over a menu screen featuring two backpacked hikers trekking into the forest from a pastoral medieval town. Very nice art style here.

0:02 I can choose from six females or five males, each represented by a classy painted portrait. I go for a blonde, short-haired girl with a red blouse because that's how I'm feeling today. DON'T JUDGE ME!

0:03 Oh, it seems I can also choose from a bunch of "character backgrounds," including a few that are dwarves, elves, goblins and orcs. They all have their own portraits, of course. I stick with a nice human Seneschal because I like the way it sounds. Say it with me now. Seneschaaaaaal.

0:04 Difficulties are Easy, Medium, Difficult and Hardcore. I can also choose a game length of Short, Medium or Long ... a rather unique touch, I think. I go with "Short," since I am just planning to play for an hour at the moment.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The You Testament

Developer: Mat Dickie
Publisher: MDickie
Release Date: Dec. 5, 2008
System: PC
ESRB Rating: N/A
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Take the Bible and replace all the words with computer models of people punching each other...

0:00 I can't remember who first sent me the link to this game, but the idea of being a witness to the times of Jesus is just sacrilegious enough to be intriguing to me.

0:01 "I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand," reads an opening quote, from Confucius. Odd that the game would start with an Eastern philosopher, but I can see how it would apply to a game like this. The music is straight out of the early-'90s SoundBlaster scene. Lots of loading right up front.

0:03 Looking over the controls now. There's an attack key? In a game about the gospel of Jesus? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that missing the point a bit? Oh, there's also a "meditate" key, so I guess that makes it all OK.

0:04 I start a new game with random characters. I am Emma, a 50-year-old civilian from Sharon with an Angry demeanor. She's wearing a green tunic and has tan skin, a small chest and a Mohawk ponytail that's quite fashion-forward for the world of 2,000 years ago.

0:05 This minute spent loading the game world extremely slowly.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Thursday, February 5, 2009

MySims Kingdom

Developer: EA Redwood Shores
Publisher: EA
Release Date: Oct. 28, 2008
Systems: Wii (reviewed), DS
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: The Cutest Wandolier

0:00 I liked the original MySims quite a bit, despite never actually going back to spend much more time with it after my initial hour. I hope this one has a little more "game" to it and a little less directionless building/exploration.

0:01 The preview screen has an incredibly cheery piano tune that expands into a trumpet and horn fanfare. I listen to it a few times on repeat -- it's just so vibrant!

0:02 Some quick loading, then some Sims on a wooden ship. They come to a kingdom where the king welcomes them. They build a bridge, then get cupcakes. Back on the boat, one guy is sitting on a cupcake. He builds a windmill and a set of speakers for a DJ. The group gets scared in a graveyard. A castle gets built and everyone cheers in front of a statue of someone. Then a rough transition: "Please connect the Nunchuk to the Wii Remote." Whoops!

0:03 The same cheery music plays over a simple menu screen with stained-glass Sims scrolling in the background. "New Game" or "Load Game" are the only options, and only one of them makes sense to me.

0:04 "Once upon a time there was a great kingdom that covered the entire world." You hear that, kids? Hegemony is great! All the lands were ruled by "a kind and wise king: Me, King Roland." He's humble, too!

0:05 Some Sims are Wandoliers who can pick up stuff with a magic wand and build it somewhere close by. But some of the Wandoliers have wandered away, leaving parts of the kingdom in disrepair. Jerks!

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Sid Meier's Pirates

Developer: Firaxis
Publisher: 2K Games
Systems: PC (reviewed), Mac, Xbox, PSP
Release Date: Nov. 22, 2004
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Yar ... there be a simple strategy simulation off the port bow. Fire!

0:00 I've heard very good things about this game for years, and have a friend who's been trying to get me to play it for nearly as long (hi, Mike). That said, I probably wouldn't be touching it if it weren't freely available on my GameTap account.

0:01 A pirate opens a chest and finds the Firaxis logo. The 2K logo just fades in as normal. Bleh. The title appears over a cloud-covered map of the sea. The cursor becomes a ship's steering wheel during some long-ish loading.

0:03 The best thing about playing old games on my crappy computer: For once I can turn the video settings ALL THE WAY UP. *flex*

0:04 "It began with a celebration. Indebted for years to the Marquis de Motalban, a family's prosperity was soon to be restored -- carrying both their hopes and their salvation." Scenes of a 3-D family laughing and drinking at a dinner party. Then the Marquis comes with bad news: The fleet has been lost and the debt's come due. The family's property is seized by redcoats. The kid of the family tries to fight back, then runs off. "While his family was enslaved, the boy swore revenge." Ten years later, we pan over the docks, and see the now-grown boy begin his quest. I'm not sure how I feel about the silent, all-text and animation story presentation.

0:06 "Seeking passage to the new world, you inquire at a public house." A guy hands my character, a clean-cut muscular boy, a "crew sign-ups" parchment. The default name is "Incognito," which tickles me so much that I decide to use it.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Friday, October 17, 2008

SimCity Creator

Developer: Hudson Soft
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Release Date: Sept. 22, 2008
Systems: Nintendo DS (reviewed), Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: A pocket metropolis.

0:00 I was a huge SimCity 2000 fan back in middle school, but I haven't touched the series since. Here's hoping this brings back my latent love of virtual urban planning.

0:01 "Build a city for the ages," says a plain white text message on a stark black background. Then a title screen in a penthouse office.

0:02 "Welcome! To the world of SimCity (tm)!" Why! Are you speaking like that!? "Out of all the games you could have bought, we thank you for choosing SimCity Creator." I don't have the heart to tell her I got my copy for free from EA.

0:03 The woman disappears and in comes the bespectacled, anime-styled "Mister! Maxis!" in a puff of smoke. "I've had my eye on SimCity ever since SimCity DS." That's some subtle name-dropping there, mister.

0:04 The measly six letters allotted for the city name aren't enough for either "Kyleton" or "Orlandia." I go with the more generic "Kville," but they change it to "Kville City." D'oh!

0:06 I get six more characters for a slogan. They suggest "Hello." I enter "E=MC2." How scientific, eh?

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Football Mogul 2009

Developer: Clay Dreslough
Publisher: Sports Mogul
Release Date: Sept. 18, 2008
System: PC
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: SimFootball

0:00 I'm knowledgeable enough about football to follow a game easily, but not nearly smart enough to run a team. Still, I'm willing to see how well I'd handle some virtual team management.

0:01 A barebones options screen is the first thing to greet me. The lack of background music is a bit jarring. I choose to manage the Redskins at the "Fan" difficulty level (also available: Coach, Head Coach and Mogul). It's like they know me!

0:02 I'm thrown into a basic, Excel-style grid with the NFL standings and some columns of stats, all of which are at zero, of course, since the season has yet to start. The first week we're playing the NY Giants. I'm ... really not sure what to do here. Let's check out that help menu...

0:03 "The goal of Football Mogul is to accumulate the best Mogul Rating by successfully carrying your team through a decade or more of success." A decade or more? Looks like this will take more than an hour! Success is measured purely in wins and losses, although teams from small markets get a bonus and teams from big markets get a penalty.

0:06 Good lord, this is getting complex fast. I have to keep track of any number of "formations" for both offense and defense, budget for player salaries and other team expenses, set ticket and concession sales, scout for new players to trade for ... and that's just the start. I'm obviously in way over my head.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Civilization Revolution

Developer: Firaxis
Publisher: 2K Games
Release Date: July 8, 2008
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3, Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Conquer the World, simply.

0:00 Believe it or not, I have never played a single Civilization game. I've heard this one is a bit simpler and tuned for a console gamer's sensibilities, though, so away we go.

0:01 The little disc tray icon on the Xbox Dashboard abbreviates the name as "Civilization Revolut'n," which I find completely hilarious for some reason. Probably lack of sleep.

0:02 A primitive person in a loincloth draws the 2K/Firaxis logos in ash on a cave wall. He draws a woman; then he becomes Caesar, pumping his fists to a crowd of cheering Romans. The ancient man continues to draw as the camera cuts to a knight in a hall and horsemen riding through fire. A man with a gold ring gestures towards the sea, over a map with dragons. In the distance, a green land. A scientist discusses a new spaceship, while a general clences a fist. A politician makes a decision and the shuttle lifts off to a massive space station. Back in pre-history, the caveman walks out to a fireside gathering outside his mountain cave. The music swells. Pretty touching, for a game intro...

0:05 I could probably spend the whole hour reading the Civopedia, which describes types of governments, land, military units, resources, rewards, leaders, etc. I hope I'll learn as I go.

0:07 I jump in to play now and can choose from a variety of leaders throughout the world and history -- Caesar, Cleopatra, Ghandi, Alexander the Great, Bismarck, Mao, etc. I choose Random and leave my fate up to, uh, fate. I get Caesar. "Great people such as Plato will increase your culture," says the loading screen. Well, duh!

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Spore

Developer: Maxis
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Release Date: Sept. 7, 2008
Systems: PC (reviewed), Mac, Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E-10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: SimEverything

0:00 I know I already covered the Spore Creature Creator in this very column, but I feel the full game is big enough to get another taste.

0:01 I'm not including in my count the 15 minutes or so it took to install the game, nor the 15 additional minutes it took to find and install a new graphics drivers. This is why I hate PC gaming, right here.

0:02 The EA logo on a starry background, then a bunch of 2-D critters fly into a black hole in the center of the Spore logo. The black holes turns into a galaxy, then a "sign-in" screen pops in and ruins the magic.

0:03 After logging in, a persistent bell chimes as the galaxy slowly spins. A few huge planets sit atop the spiral arms of the galaxy. I pick one at random to start a New Game.

0:04 In the Cell Stage, I will "nurture [my] creation from its humble aquatic origins to its evolution as a sentient species in the epic journey of Spore." Epic! I can choose a herbivore or a carnivore. Meatasaurus, plz! I choose Normal difficulty and name my planet Kyle's Orb-land. Heh. I crack me up.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Spore Creature Creator

Developer: Maxis
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Release Date: June 18, 2008
Systems: PC, Mac
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: And God said "It is good."

0:00 I know this isn't really a full game, but EA is selling it for nearly $10, so I figure it deserves a column. My previous experience with this game is pretty much limited to being live in the audience for this Robin Williams-led demo two years ago

0:01 I'm not including the roughly five minutes of install time in my minute-by-minute count, because I'm a horrible hypocrite.

0:02 I am, however, including the two minutes or so it took to download and install the EA download manager. Fair and balanced, that's me.

0:03 Some gentle bells and synthesizer horns play in the background as I register for a Spore account. I'm KyleOrl if you want to follow my stuff.

0:05 Account registered. There are only two options against a whirling galaxy background: "create a creature" and "load a creature." Well, since I don't have anything to load...

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Thursday, October 4, 2007

SimCity DS


Developer: EA Japan
Publisher: EA Games
Release Date: June 19, 2007
Systems: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web Site

Today's game for Lunch comes from guest blogger Dave Thomas, who writes, "According to the display on the back of the seat in front of me, I’m cooped up in an airplane 38,100 miles above the Pacific Ocean near Alaska, jetting 512 miles per hour toward Tokyo. Soon I’ll be at the Tokyo Game Show and the Digital Games Research Association international conference. But for now, what a better time to kick back and play a little game of SimCity DS? Shall we?"

In a nutshell: SimCity, portable and flirtatious.

0:01 The game starts with the SimCity DS logo on the top screen and a cute little version of a SimCity scrolling along the bottom. It’s even playing a jazzy little soundtrack that we’ve hear in one form or another in every Sims game for the past 10 years.

A couple of taps and I, a seasoned SimCity player, am in the tutorials. And, wow... there’s a bunch of them. A stern but bobble-headed blonde with glasses stares at me as I stare back at the list of 15 individual tutorials. Looks like I’m going to spend the next hour learning to play. I choose obviously enough, tutorial 1, the basics.

0:02 Now I get I meet my on-screen temptress. The blonde is Julie McSim, and she, apparently, is going to show me around. OK, Julie, what’s next?

0:05 OK, I'm thoroughly confused. She's been showing me what must be every screen and button in the game and all I can do is nod and click forward. Come on Julie! I wanna play!

0:07 So Julie wants me to hold my questions until the end. Since I love staring into her beady little eyes, I’m going to go along. On to step 2, power plants.

0:08 Excellent, She let me build a coal power plant! I knew this relationship was going some place.

0:09 I can finally see how this is going to work. The touch screen is where you place things and make adjustments. The top screen shows the city in more classic SimCity graphic detail

0:11 Julie keeps telling me to relax. I don’t know if this is come on, or if she knows that her tutorial is a bit boring and stressful.

0:12 I’ve made it to lesson 3, zoning! This all looks familiar except when Julia starts talking about auras. Looks like they’ve simplified the SimCity model a bit. Now things have auras. Very new age, Julie, very new age.

0:15 Step 4, power lines. Did it take this long to learn the original SimCity?

0:17 I’ve finally made it to step 5 and get to build some roads. I’m tempted to bail on this tutorial, even though Julie and I have spent some quality time together. But this game seems to be filled with little quirks not quite like the old SimCity. So I think I better stick with the tutorials. For now.

0:19 I’m telling you, I don’t think it’s my imagination, but I think Julie is hitting on me. I’m trying to draw a rail line right where Julie shows, and it’s hard to get it right on the little screen. So, she giggles and tells me that my rail shouldn’t be too short or too long. Thanks a lot Julie.

0:22 Off to learn about water. At least I’m getting to build things, even if I have to put everything where Julie says. Really, this is straining our relationship.

0:24 OK, I just have to quote Julie on this one: "Like a blossoming flower, your city will need care, attention, and water!" And to think, I used to think you were smart.

0:25 See, here's why I have to play the tutorials. Now she wants to tell me about landfills. I don’t remember these as having a big impact on the original SimCity. So, let’s see what she has to say about these things.

0:27 I like the idea that you have to manage garbage initially by making a dump. That's a neat feature. I'm sure I will enjoy it if I ever get a chance to play the game. For now, it's just me, Julie and crime.

0:30 I'm half way through my hour and we turn up the heat—fire stations!

0:42 I'm a bit worn finishing up the tutorials, going over hospitals, schools, libraries, parks and rec, more on aura, quality of life, demolition control panel and the myriad of datasheets (But I did like when she asked me to use a firm touch. I swear! That’s what she said, the little vixen). But at long last I’ve completed the 15 tutorials so now I can build a city. Let’s see if my harsh task mistress will be pleased with her pupil.

0:44 I name my new town “Airtown”. Part because that is how many characters long the maximum city name can be and part because I am in an airplane and terribly clever. I select an easy level with a lot of ground and a little bit of a shoreline and get to work.

0:45 The first thing I discover is that Julie is still with me. And she’s even started my city for me. Thanks Julie. And now she’s going to tell me everything that she did. Ho hum. I guess she wasn’t done talking after all.

0:47 So, after all that training, I'm stuck. Can’t figure out what to do. All I can do is scroll around the map. I can't seem to figure out how to add stuff. Damn, I should have paid attention instead of staring into Julie's teeny blue eyes.

0:48 Not that it matters, I guess. Julie has dragged me into my office to meet Professor Simtown. He showed up to bring me a post office. Yes, you heard me right, a post office. The professor brought me a post office. Julie is very excited about this, which of course makes me happy. I guess this post office, if I put it in my city, let's me trade mail with other mayors. So, what are the odds someone else if playing SimCity DS on the plane? Hmm, guess I’ll have to check this feature out on the ground.

0:50 I don’t think of myself as a stupid person, but I can’t figure out how to get to the add a building screen. I did click on save, and that worked.

0:51 Ah, I found it. For future reference, it is this tiny thing that might be a manhole cover. Or maybe it’s a broach. Hard to tell. It’s very small.

0:55 I lay down a bunch of residential, because that seems to be what the people want. I bounced around a bunch of screens and can't seem to find anything wrong. So, I go back and ask Julie. Not only will she give you advice, you can chat with her. She tells me that she wanted to be a singer when she was younger. I imagine she has a wonderful voice.

0:56 Anyway, I ask her for advice this time and she tells me that I need to fund everything for it to work correctly. Really?

0:58 With time running out, I go on a building spree. A school! A ballpark! A zoo! Lots of new housing. Will my citizens adore me before I must leave office?

0:59 I check my budget and I'm still running a deficit. The quality of life indicator is in a slow slide. In desperation, I add a hospital and zone some beach front property. But it's no use. My time is up. My town has sprawled awkwardly to one side. The citizens are not terribly happy and Julie still doesn't seem to respect me.

Would I play this game for more than an hour? No
Why? Although this is a noble effort to capture the sandbox fun of SimCity, in the end, the screens are too small to show the level of detail that makes city building fun, and manageable. I'll miss her, but I’m going to have to break this off. I’m sorry Julie. It’s not you. It’s me.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

MySims


Developer: EA Redwood
Publisher: EA
Release Date: Sept. 18, 2007
System: Wii (reviewed), DS
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web Site

In a nutshell: The Sims, but cuter.

0:01 The EA logo flashes by, followed by some super-cute, super-rounded Sims pushing the game title into place, smiling and waving all the while. Oh my are they endearing.

0:02
A black-haired girl in pigtails and a sushi chef with a sushi hat are disturbed from their activities when houses start falling from the sky and morphing at random. It's madness! No, it's just another day for the Sims... everyone seems pretty happy with their state of affairs.

0:03 I name the town Wiiville, for obvious reasons. Mayor Rosalyn P. Marshall tells me the story of the town... that I just created. Hmm. It used to be full of life and happy, unique Sims thanks to a super-powered freak who built things using "Essences." But then he left and the Sims, atrophied after generations of not having to lift a finger, were left in squalor. People started to move away. But a new person who can use essences! Who could it be? I have a guess...

0:05
Build-a-Sim time. There are an impressive number of options for everything from hairstyle to dimples, but you have to cycle through them one by one. You can even choose a voice and pitch. One worry -- the loading is kind of jerky and the frame rate gets jumps up and down... and the game hasn't really even started yet!

0:07 I name my buck-toothed, blonde-haired, dark-skinned, bewhiskered boy Ug Lee, for obvious reasons.

0:09 Ug walks himself to town hall to meet the mayor. I get some slantwise views of the town, which doesn't look too worse for wear. Everything is extremely brightly colored, even if some of the buildings are falling apart.

0:10 So the Sims speak in the usual Pidgin Simlish, but also their words appear as text in boxes on the bottom of the screen. Odd. Mayor Rosalyn: "Oh I love paperwork so much!" It takes all kinds I guess. Even wholly unrealistic kinds.

0:11 The mayor apparently has nothing better to do then lead me to my new house, so I follow her out. "Oh, no! There's no house here! How embarrassing..." And the award for understatement of the year goes to... "Well, you're a good builder, so let's try building now." Jeez... first you don't have a house for me, now you make me build it on my own! Talk about presumptuous!

0:13
The loading hasn't been too bad so far, but it's relatively persistent... maybe five seconds or so every two minutes or so, every time the scene changes. It's getting a bit annoying.

0:16 The house-building tools are pretty intuitive -- pick up a bock and slide it into place with the remote, rotate it with the control pad. It's a bit weird building a house out of huge blocks instead of walls and the like. I finish up a pretty basic block house, but before I can check out my handiwork, though, the mayor drags me off to find out about "essences."

0:18 I really like the dual Nunchuk/pointer controls here. One hand shakes a tree with the remote, the other moves my Sim to collect the fallen fruit with the control stick. Easy as pie.

0:20 "Splash in fountain" should be an option in every game. EVEN GAMES WITHOUT FOUNTAINS!

0:21 The map has the nice feature of letting you mark a location and guiding you to it with an on-screen arrow. Nice touch for a guy with no sense of direction like me.

0:22 I finally get to inspect the inside of my house. It's sparsely decorated with a mirror, a bed, a dresser and a kitchenette for one. What am I, Amish?

0:24
The "be mean" option causes me to bop the mayor in the back of the head. I pick up the teardrop shaped "sad" essence she drops and add it too my bag. That's right... I thrive on other people's sadness! MWAHAHAHAHA!

0:26 I've got to build my own workshop, too? What's wrong with this cheap-ass town?

0:29 I do the workshop up right, with skylights, a picket fence, a lawn gnome, and a pink flamingo on the multi-tiered roof. It's a thing of beauty. I could play with this building designer all day.

0:33 I'm building a chair in my workshop now. Everything snaps into place so nicely. You can stick to the 3D blueprints or go nuts and build outside them. I make a monstrosity of a chair that looks more like four chairs stuck together. That's right. I've gone MAD WITH POWER!

0:35 It's twilight now as we walk to place the Franken-chair in my house. While I'm at it, I place my bed in the living room, which gives my house a 1% "tasty" rating. Placing an apple on the floor raises it to 2%. Who knew?

0:38 Mayor: "Brilliant! That's how to redecorate your house." Er... did you see the apple on the floor? Or the bed in the living room?

0:39 That's it for the tutorial for now. The mayor tells me to talk to people about town and gives me blueprints to make some more stuff. I put on my finest cowboy outfit and get ready to go out on the town!

0:41 ...after a quick nap that is. Unlike other Sims games., there seems to be no biological need for sleep. So what's the point? Just to watch my Sim nap? Cuz that's a little creepy.

0:42 Ug wakes with a start and I get two "scary" essences for my nightmarish trouble. So I guess it was a good dream?

0:44 Mini-game time. I go fishing for essences in the pond outside my house. Just point at the bubbles, hit B and pull. I catch four rainbow trout, six clown fish and two tires. Ha!

0:47 Another mini-game... prospecting. This one just involves walking around until the metal detector goes off and tells me to dig. I find some cement blocks and some eight balls. Groovy.

0:48 In the hotel, Buddy the bellhop busts out a Game Boy. He seems annoyed when I interrupt him to talk. Then he tells me is to get see the mayor. Boring.

0:49 I practice being "nice" and "mean" on buddy. Oh man, the animations are SO CUTE. So far I've blown him a kiss, patted him on the back, and socked him in the nose, the last one leading to a huge, cartoony dust cloud fight (which the bellhop won). Buddy's reaction to all three are priceless!

0:51 An on-screen tip keeps telling me to go to see the mayor, so I guess I'd better do that. But first, let's remodel the hotel! Yay!

0:53 I reduce the hotel to a mere shadow of its former self -- just a sliver of a building. Yet when I go in it's just as spacious as ever. What is this, a Harry Potter book?

0:54 Always take time to smell the daisies. AND THEN DESTROY THEM BY STOMPING WITH YOUR HUGE BOOTS. BWAHAHAH!

0:55 Poppy's flower shop is nice, but I can't seem to... oh, what's the word... BUY FLOWERS in it. Seriously... what's the point of a flower shop that won't sell you flowers?

0:57 The way to the ranch is blocked by rocks that I can't get through. "Maybe if you had the right tool." Nice to see the town will get bigger later.

0:58 "Nekkam bazarka... blerp!" the Mayor tells me. This roughly translates to "Build me a podium, jackass! And make sure it has four red apples on it! Or else!" Roughly. Nowhere in there does she say what's in it for me.

1:00 Between playing slapfight with the mayor, splashing in the fountain, and planting apple trees, I seem to have forgotten all about that task. What was it again?

Would I play this game for more than an hour? Yes
Why? Great interface, open-ended structure and some of the cutest characters I've ever seen.

This review based on a retail copy rented from GameFly.

Monday, July 9, 2007

ActRaiser


Developer: Enix
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: 1991
System: SNES
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Slash and build.

0:01 OK, I'm a god of some sort. "Now all types of monsters are in total control of the Earth." I fall asleep for FIVE MINUTES...
0:03 OK, so far I've figured out I can move my sky palace around over a bunch of deserted cities. Time to fight.
0:05 Apparently I'm not high enough level to fight in most cities. I guess and check until I find one I can actually battle in. "May luck be with you."
0:06 Remember when these rotation effects were the height of graphics technology? Ah, nostalgia.
0:08 Controls are decent. Gripes so far: Can't change direction in mid-air effectively, can't slash upward/downward.
0:09 Nice lightning effects from the boss centaur. Stands the test of time.
0:10 It's nice of the charging centaur to stop just before he tramples me. If he didn't, I'd be dead rather quickly.
0:11 My town has two tiny people now! Aww. They can't build homes because of bushes. I'm god, don't I have better things to do than clearing brush?
0:13 There are enemies attacking my angel/avatar as I try to build. SimCity would be so much better with this feature.
0:15 There, I cleared the freakin'; bushes. Now they can "work and be happy"
0:18 OK, so I've directed the people to build, now I'm sitting here waiting for something to happen...
0:20 I love the exclamation point after "Pause!" when you pause the game.
0:21 OH! I read the instructions and find I can fire arrows at the monsters. Once I do, the townspeople start building. Lazy bums. Do I have to do everything around here?
0:23 Now they can hunt. They seal a monster lair and find me some bow and arrows. Thanks, peons!
0:24 A bat just tried to carry off my people! Not on my watch!
0:26 There's a lot to keep track of. Killing pests, guiding development, razing land, all at the same time. Might be a bit much for turn-based sim fans.
0:27 Now I'm level 2, so I can move on to other cities, but I'd feel bad leaving my new citizens to fend for themselves. A god's work is never done.
0:32 The people want me to destroy a rock in the southeast, but I can't tell which one. Meanwhile, dragons are destroying my population. Crap!
0:33 Ah, finally found it. It was the smallish gray rock, not the huge red ones. Well why didn't you say so?
0:36 Final monster's lair is gone, but now some prophet guy has nightmares about "Minotaurus." You can't make these names up. Looks like time for a boss fight.
0:39 But first, a dungeon. I like being able to block projectiles with a sword swing.
0:40 Ooh, hidden passage. Interesting, classic level design. I keep dieing to an annoyingly swift skeleton knight.
0:42 Surprise, "Minotaurus" is a Minotaur. He comes flying in from the ceiling. Before I can figure out the pattern, I'm D-E-D dead. Time to try again.
0:44 Death from the skele-knight AGAIN. The difficulty's already ramping up a bit.
0:48 Die again at the minotaur boss. I can't seem to avoid the blue energy axes he throws. I'm at a loss.
0:50 A ha! The key seems to be jumping before the axes appear. I winz!
0:51 No more monsters, Fillmore is at peace. Some prophet died, blah blah. Cute little praisers at my temple. On to the not-ominously-named-at-all "Bloodpool"
0:53 Digging the Bloodpool music. Also, this action sequence is a lot tougher than the first ones. Falling platforms, etc.
0:54 I fall in to a bottomless pit DURING a boss battle. That's just not right.
0:57 Four times now I've died when the boss knocks me into a pit. GRRR!
0:59 Fifth time, I'm super careful to just avoid the pit. I still get knocked in with only one hit left to kill the boss! ARGH!
1:01 GOT HIM!

Would I play this game for more than an hour? Yes
Why? Perfect mix of action and sim. Neither section is transcendent, but both are decent enough to keep me going.

The review based on a copy purchased for the Wii's Virtual Console.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Peacemaker

Developer: Impact Games
Publisher: Impact Games
Release Date:
May 2, 2007
System:
PC
Official Web site

In a nutshell:
Make peace with your neighbor? Wait, that can't be right. Isn't there anything to blow up?

0:01 80+ years of regional violence in sixty seconds. Now that's an opening montage!
0:02 I have no idea how to make peace, so I'll choose the tutorial mode to start.
0:05 A perfect score is ranked as a Nobel Prize Winner. How cool is that?
0:08 Tutorial done, I choose a tense situation to start.
0:09 The use of video to highlight important events is nice.
0:12 Israeli attacks my people right from the outset. Since this is a peace game I ask them politely to stop. The Osraeli prime minister will "consider my request." Whoo!
0:15 I want action! A demanding speech is met with mixed reaction. At least my people liked it... 5/100 approval!
0:17 Israel doesn't want to train their military with me. That's OK, I didn't want to train with them either! *sniff*
0:18 I ask Hamas politely to stop being so militant. They refuse. Big surprise. So I arrest the militants. They don't like that, but the world approves slightly.
0:19 I tell the Palestinians to stop being violent. They don't like that. And then a Fatah bomber kills some Israelis, erasing all my heard-earned progress. Hoo boy.
0:24 Everything I do seems to turn out badly, until I ask the UN for aid. Cha-ching! Then a civil war breaks out and I lose. Whoops!
0:28 Now I'm the Israeli prime minister. A speech against militatantism from Palestinians is called out for a "lack of imagination." I didn't know I was being judged on originality!
0:31 Asking for withdrawal support is my first universally positive move. Both the Palestinians and Israelis now grudgingly tolerate me. I'm sure I'll screw it up somehow.
0:33 Again I give a speech promoting peace. Again world leaders say they "heard the exactly same one again and again for the last 20 years." Sheesh!
0:36 The UN won't put pressure on Palestine, but the US will. Seems pretty accurate to me.
0:37 Apparently the Palestinians like me better when I'm running Israel.
0:45 Every time I give a speech, people say they've heard it before. Maybe the game should let me write the speech myself.
0:50 I've figured out I can easily get Palestinian sympathy points by promising economic help. I'll trade two Israel points for 10 Palestine points any day.
0:52 The Palestinian president praises my actions. Then, when I ask for anti-militant support, he says he's upset with me. Make up your mind, Palestinian president!
0:53 The U.S. President actually had something intelligent to say about the situation. What alternate universe is this game supposed to take place in, again?
0:57 I ask for cross-cultural projects. An Israeli demolishes a Palestinian piece of art. My approval goes up across the board. Wha?
0:59 I wish the interface were a little smoother. It can be hard to sift through all the options.

Would I play this game for more than an hour: Maybe
Why? The premise and execution are great, but it's already starting to repeat itself, and it's pretty easy to game the system for political points.

This review is based on a full version of the game provided by the publisher.