101-in-1 Sports Megamix

Developer: Nordcurrent

Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: Sept. 1, 2010
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E
Official web site

In a nutshell: Quantity over quality.

0:00 The idea of packing 101 sports mini-games onto a single DS cart just strikes me as inherently ridiculous. My equally ridiculous mission: To play and write about all 101 in an hour... or die trying. Aaaand, go!

0:01 Wasted precious seconds creating a file and skipping a dated-looking intro movie. Volleyball makes me turn the DS sideways to move my player left and right using the stylus. Ridiculously simple and already boring. NEXT!

0:02 In Bowling I fling the ball from the bottom touch screen to pins at the top of the top screen. The ball rolls like it’s going through molasses, hitting the pins and knocking them straight down with almost no pin action. NEXT!

0:03 Boxing’s direct overhead perspective reminds me of the old Atari 2600 Boxing game. Move with the d-pad, tap the touchscreen buttons to punch. Kind of interesting, but no time to delve deeper! NEXT!

0:04 For some reason, when my character hits the ball in Tennis, it goes directly out of bounds to the right every time. I don’t have time or interest to figure out why. NEXT!

0:05 Surprisingly, Horse Riding uses button controls rather than the touch screen. I hold right on the d-pad to run, then tap B to jump over hurdles with a ridiculously floaty jump. These horses are jumping the equivalent of ten feet in the air easily. NEXT!

***-->CONTINUE READING<--***

***-->AT GAMERONI<-***

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Etrian Odyssey III: The Drowned City

Developers: Atlus
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: Sept. 21, 2010
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E-10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Who knew a cartographer's life was so complicated?

0:00 I vaguely remember playing Etrian Odyssey II for lunch a while back, but I can't find it in my archives. I guess I just remember my friend Bruce going on and on about how awesome the game was.

0:01 "Hie thee to the ocean city, to the Yggdrasil labyrinth... what awaits is time's end; death's demise; a tempestuous dream. A stormy adventure begins." Despite the game's use of "hie thee," the swelling, elegaic music is really getting to me.

0:02 I love how there's a "no wait" option for both message and battle speed. “Fast” is never fast enough for me. I turn on the auto-map, too, because I am lazy.

0:03 Our new game starts in "the regal ocean city Armoroad." It's said to have ruins below the waves, so the Senate invites some explorers. None were strong enough to master the maze. I am one such explorer. "Your hour is at hand." You hear that. MY HOUR! I have a weakness for second-person narratives.

0:04 I'm forced to start in the explorer's guild, where an ethnic-looking guy in a Lawrence of Arabia robe gives me a Guild Certificate,and a bunch of scripts. I name my character "LeetD00D" because I am eight years old.

***-->CONTINUE READING<--***

***-->AT GAMERONI<-***

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Zeno Clash: Ultimate Edition

Developer: ACE Team

Publisher: Atlus

Release Date: May 5, 2010

System: Xbox 360

ESRB Rating: T

Official Web site

In a nutshell: A game that's as fucked up as it looks.

0:00 I missed this one when it started getting all sorts of indie buzz on the PC last year, but I remember being intrigued by the concept of a first-person brawler. I'm excited to try it out now that it's on the Xbox 360.

0:01 In a primitive village with muted colors. A bent old man in a hooded robe plays with a voodoo doll. An ogre in a helmet gestures. A woman looks warily at a lanky, very tall man seated next to her. A talon comes down on a piece of paper. The characters are mostly recognizably human, but there's something slightly off about their appearance. It's like we're in a dream world just this side of a nightmare.

0:02 The options screen has a visual option for a computer monitor. A nice touch, that.

0:03 Prologue is the only one of 19 chapters available. Guess this is gonna be a long game... I choose Normal rather than Easy of Advanced for my difficulty.

0:04 Fuzzy blobs of light fade to white. A shaman in a hood falls over as my first-person viewpoint is periodically obscured by blinking eyelids. I'm in an enclosed wooded clearing, with green spirits floating in the air. "Hello Ghat. That trick with the bomb, you learned that from me, remember. But you didn't do it right. You're not dead like me." Come again?

0:05 As a quick warm up, the dead shaman tells me to kick some chickens with a tap of RT. It's a bit weird to see this from a first-person perspective.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT<--***

***-->JOYSTICK DIVISION<-***

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3D Dot Game Heroes

Developer: Silicon Studio

Publisher: Atlus

Release Date: May 11, 2010

System: PS3

ESRB Rating: E10+

Official Web site

In a nutshell: More Zelda than Zelda.

0:00 I like the blocky, 3D aesthetic I've seen in screenshots, and the comparisons I've been hearing to the old 2D Zelda games are encouraging.

0:01 Retro chiptune music plays as we get some diagonal overhead shots of the game's various areas: A desert, a plateau, a field filled with bushes. The "demo play" shows our hero using a hookshot to cross a river, putting up a shield to block arrows from Goblin-ish enemies, arrows being fired at leaping spiders, and a dungeon whith a skeleton battle. Besides all the characters and environs being made of small colored cubes, these shots could all have come straight from A Link to the Past.

0:06 I hop into the editor to "edit my character." Only after playing around for five minutes or so, trying to make a passable round smiley face, do I remember that I have no artistic ability.

0:07 That's OK, there's a whole lot of pre-made characters to choose from. "Striker" has a soccer ball to dibble in front of him. "FunkSanta" has the familiar red and white pallette and "a funky walk." "Galleon," is an honest-to-goodness pirate-type ship. "Poochi" is a dog. "GT Car" is... well you get the idea. The oddest, though, is "President," described as "the X7th president of the United States" who just happens to be a red and black dragon.

0:08 After all that, I go with "Pumpkin," a black spectre with a pumpkin for a head. I name him "...~%O[triangle][square]X, because I can.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT<--***

***-->JOYSTICK DIVISION<--***

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Demon's Souls

Developer: From Software
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: Oct. 7, 2009
System: PS3
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: I spent nearly half of the hour dead.

0:00 I was pretty unimpressed with a live Internet video demo of this game a few months ago -- it just looked like any other dungeon hack-and-slasher. But then the game came out and all sorts of critics started praising it for its design and punishing-but-fair difficulty, so I figured I had to see what all the fuss was about.

0:01 "On the first day man was granted a soul, and with it, clarity. On the second day upon Earth was planted an irrevocable poison, a soul-devouring Demon." Wow, so we only got one uninterrupted day with a soul? LAME!

0:02 A flying beast casts a huge shadow over land. A choir chants over timpani and trumpets as a lone armored hero takes out a bunch of shambling, possibly undead soldiers in slow-mo. He gets knocked back and rises to face a skeleton holding a huge scimitar. Organ music as a glowing ghost shoots an arrow at the skeleton. A giant dragon-ish beast rises up in the middle distance and roars. Fade to white as the choir fades out. Yeah ... that intro did nothing to convince me this isn't the same hack-and-slash crap I've played a million times.

0:05 The game can't connect to the Demon's Souls server, possibly because it's a trade demo and not a retail copy. Looks like I'm going it alone...

0:07 Time to "Create Profile." I name my character "?!," because I can. I can be a Soldier, Knight, Hunter, Priest, Magician, Wanderer, Barbarian, Thief, Temple Knight or Royalty. That's a lot of choices! I think I'll go with Royalty, just because it's so different. And regal!

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Super Robot Taisen OG Saga: Endless Frontier

Developer: Banpresto
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: April 28, 2009
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: With a name like Super Robot Taisen OG Saga Endless Frontier, it's got to be incomprehensible and Japanese?

0:00 I know nothing about this game except for the fact that it came with a soundtrack CD in the mail a few months ago, and has since been making me feel guilty from the bookcase.

0:01 An old-fashioned sword and a futuristic robo-sword (?) clash on the top screen against a blue sky. Some entertaining pop synth plays as the title appears.

0:02 "What made the world the way it is? Some say it has existed for tens of thousands of years. Others say it was always like this. But no one knows the truth..." Apparently, our universe encountered people from another world decades ago. The war and confusion this brought ended eventually, but now, 23 years later, a place called Endless Frontier has people of different races and time periods living together. That's right, TIME PERIODS! Don't ask me, I just work here.

0:03 "Well, here we are. Let's get goin', Aschen," says a cowboy-looking feller named Haken. "Roger," is the reply from a busty girl in a futuristic green jumpsuit. Uh...

0:04 Just like that I'm in control, walking the cowboy around a gray spaceship-looking corridor from an overhead, RPG-style viewpoint.

0:05 Rocks are in my way, but I destroy them with a quick sword strike. I find a healing pill, a mind pill and a Power Drink amidst the rubble. Awesome-sauce!

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Knights in the Nightmare

Developer: Sting
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: June 2, 2009
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: What the hell is going on? Oh, that's what's going on? OK, that's pretty cool then.

0:00 In my experience, knights don't usually show up in the nightmares, but in good dreams. Buff, sparkling knights, with broad shoulders and rippling pecs, rescuing me from ... well ... perhaps I've said too much.

0:01 A story scrolls by WAY too fast for me to read it. All I caught was something about the "Island of St. Celestina." Anyway, we're off watching a woman in white hover down a lavish hallway, battling enemies as she goes. "I must hurry ... before the nightmare engulfs me. Before the wisp of hope is lost. I have to survive! ... To regain what was lost." As she escapes into the night, a crowd of voices calls out that they have to find her. The fast-paced music transitions to gentle piano and strings as the title comes up over a red castle in the distance. Powerful!

0:03 Let's go with "Teachings" before starting the game. "First Steps" is for first time players, and has 10 sub-categories. Good lord!

0:06 Interesting ... moving the stylus around on the touch-screen moves a little white "wisp" on the top screen, which can be used to select characters on an isometric grid. Hold it there to charge up an attack, then point in the direction of an enemy and FIRE! "Ready ... I'll cut you in two! It worked!" says my character with genuine surprise in his voice.

0:08 Hmmm ... enemies shoot bullets that don't hurt my character but DO hurt the stylus-controlled wisp. All the twitchy action of a shoot-'em-up with all the strategy of a tactical RPG. I like it!

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Tokyo Beatdown

Developer: Success
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: March 31, 2009
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: This game deserves to be beat down.

0:00 My favorite kind of beatdown is one in a city I've never been to. My expectations are pretty low -- a halfway-decent, action-heavy brawler would be enough.

0:01 A bunch of police cars come cresting over a hill. The camera pans up to the title, followed by rapid cuts of the cast. Captain Takeshi Bando fires a rocket. Special Officer Lewis Cannon fires a gun. Sergeant Riyo Suzuki clings to the top of a subway car. Grainy 3-D models strut around a grayish city. Chief Eiji Watanabe downs a drink. High-impact music continues as we finish on a shot of the five heroes behind a maze of police tape. "KEEP OUT," it reads.

0:03 A guy in a white leisure suit gets out of a car. "Big trouble in Shibuya! Beat down crime and restore peace!" OK then.

0:04 I can walk around clunkily with the d-pad. I can move into and out of the screen slightly, but I constantly face directly right or left. It's pretty standard for these types of games, but it feels a bit weird with the 3-D models.

0:05 I talk to Kika Hyodo. "Lewis, don't go crazy and start a riot, alright? You don't want the chief on your case again." The music has transitioned to some crazy xylophone synth.

0:06 The first enemies ... a foursome clad in all-black. I punch and kick my way through them easily. Well, one kicks me in the back of the head, but I'm OK...

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner 2: Raidou Kuzunoha vs. King Abaddon

Developer: Atlus
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: May 12, 2009
System: PS2
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Well this is interes... Damn ... it froze.

0:00 With a name like Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner 2: Raidou Kuzunoha vs. King Abaddon, it has to be good, right?

0:01 A guy in ornamental red armor looks out over clouds. A ninja with a skull helmet flies over a town with his insect-like wings. A guy in a gray delivery-boy outfit and cape watches as someone eats a stack of buttered toast across the room. A cat knocks over the toast, causing a woman in pink to laugh. The ninja jumps across some Japanese temple rooftops and attacks the delivery boy. The guy in a red jumpsuit laughs. The soldier opens a can of Minotaurs. YOU HEARD ME ... A CAN OF MINOTAURS. Three people stand back-to-back-to-back in a triangle. Back to the Minotaur battle, where dozens of ninjas have joined the fight. The delivery boy prepares more cans of Minotaurs. And ... title! What the hell?

0:03 The delivery boy appears in a blaze of white light. "In a sacred hall where three giant pine trees are enshrined ... you hear an ominous voice echo from somewhere." So we're going with second-person exposition here? Really? Anyway, I've been trained in the means of combating darkness. Like lighting a match? A-hyuck, hyuck, hyuck.

0:05 I'm one of four great summoners of the Kuzunoha Clan. "The right to be called Raidou is yours." An elderly voice welcomes me. More flashes of white. This is my final exam. The game asks me to "shout [my] final name, so [I] may leave it behind." What a waste. I name myself "2+2 =5" because I can.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Crimson Gem Saga

Developer: IRONNOS Software
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: May 26, 2009
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Wins the coveted "Most frequent use of the word 'salutatorian' in an RPG" award.

0:00 I know next to nothing about this game, but based on the title I'm guessing it's either a match-three puzzle game or an overwrought RPG. Or both! I don't know which option scares me most.

0:01 Loading, creating a save file, more loading, some logos and then snow falling on what looks like an anime graduation ceremony. Up above, an elf with pink hair watches as a blimp flies over the town. The title appears to the strains of elegant flutes. A blonde ponytailed woman kneels before a king. A goateed man stands illuminated by lightning. Knights draw their swords. A guy with a hammer swings with abandon at some bad guys. A redheaded boy summons a fireball. A girl on horseback runs from a boulder. A fistfight in the rain. A hand reaches for a falling girl. The music stops suddenly as doves fly in front of a temple. Cut to a slowly rotating crimson gem. The title appears again! Whew!

0:04 "History had all but forgotten it ... a power from a forgotten empire that threatened the world. It was said to hold the ability to control all of creation. After a millennium, it stirs once again." Snooze! Wake me when something original happens.

0:05 "I have no choice left. This is my only option," says a regal-looking, white-bearded fellow standing before the crimson gem. "The world will be in ruins if this power falls into the wrong hands." He offers up a young child, who gets sucked into the gem in a blaze of white light. "Prologue." What the...?

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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TrackMania DS

Developer: Firebrand Games
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: March 17, 2009
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Mini-TrackMania in a nutshell

0:00 I've probably put over 100 hours into the free PC version of this simple, technical stunt racer, primarily in the endlessly inventive online tracks. So, naturally, I'm excited about this DS version.

0:02 I'm digging the low-fidelity chiptunes on the menu screen. Let's start with some solo racing, in the "Stadium Practice" area.

0:03 The 3-D graphics on the top screen are surprisingly smooth for the DS, even with three ghost cars (which represent bronze, silver and gold-medal times). That said, everything's very blocky and not really up to the PC resolution. Still, passable. I finish in second on the extremely short, simple course because I accidentally scraped against a wall and slowed to a crawl. Still getting used to the controls...

0:05 Two more simple tracks down already. Lots of jumps, lots of going horizontal against walls. The physics are incredibly simple, but they have a good self-consistency to them.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT CRISPY GAMER<--***

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Choro Q

Developer: Takara
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: Nov. 4, 2004
System: PS2
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Super Happy Fun Racing RPG Good Time Game!

0:00 I don't know how GameStop expected me to resist a game whose box says "Intense Racing Action," "Robust RPG Adventure" and "$2.99 Used" on the back.

0:01 An extremely outdated CGI cut scene shows a bunch of tiny cars racing around a track with a bunch more cars sitting in the stands. The inspiration for Pixar's "Cars"? A bunch of different foreign words for "Freedom" appear over a montage of these tiny, tiny cars zipping around some interesting racing tracks. High energy cheesy guitar music precedes the title screen. Pretty standard PS2-era intro.

0:02 The title screen has some extremely happy music and a cars driving around a very tiny globe with happy, vibrant colored houses. It looks like MySims more than "INTENSE RACING ACTION."

0:04 I think this is the first racing game I've ever played with an "Auto Cruise" button.

0:05 Cartoon "Brrrrrrr!"s fill the screen when I set the controller vibration. I have a feeling I'm going to like this game.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4

Developer: Atlus
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: Dec. 9, 2008
System: PS2
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Now with less shooting yourself in the head (at least so far).

0:00 Despite saying that I would play Persona 3 FES for more than an hour in my GFL column, I never actually went back to it. Other games got in the way, but the disturbing anime imagery definitely got in my head and left me looking vaguely forward to this sequel.

0:01 Piano music. A bunch of TVs, one with the game's logo. A guy puts on glasses. A lonely loveseat. The guy lands and runs. The lonely loveseat gets the guy sitting in it. A girl with a fan. A guy with large headphones. Another with a skull and crossbones shirt. A bulbous blue egg-shaped man in a clown suit?!?! A card spinning on its corner. Detectives. Shaky-cam anime of a fight. A girl with a parasol. A Britney Spears-alike on a stage. The lonely loveseat again, on the TV, which switches of and cuts to ... the title screen! Wuzzah huh?

0:05 "Before you begin the story, choose a difficulty level in battle." The choices are Normal, Beginner and Expert. Seeing as I doubt I'll get to more than one battle in my first hour, it doesn't matter much, but I choose Normal. "You will be able to enjoy the normal challenge of battle, which requires a certain degree of strategy." You don't scare me! "Now, please sit back and enjoy the game." How thoughtful!

0:06 Black fog rolls by. A fancy car rolls into view in super close up. A woman in a pseudo-military outfit opens her eyes. A man with a ridiculous nose opens his eyes. "Welcome to the Velvet room!" Well that sounds familiar. Cut to 3-D models of the twosome inside the car. "Ah ... it seems we have a guest with an intriguing destiny..." says the "Bizarre-looking Man." Really, that's what the game calls him!

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Luminous Arc 2

Developer: imageepoch
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: Nov. 18, 2008
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: So ... many ... awesome ... CHARACTERS!

0:00 I have no idea what to expect from this one -- I've barely even heard of the first Luminous Arc. Still, the embargo date for this dev build is up today, and I have to play something for lunch, so...

0:01 Japanese singing over an anime cut scene of guys with big swords fighting. A shot of a blue sky and the title appears. A girl sits sullenly on a bench in a garden with petals flying by. A girl in a beret is approached by a pikeman, then runs to someone else. More blue sky. More sword-fighting. Two beautiful people reach for each other through a blinding light. A bunch of flying people pose. More petals flying in the air as a bunch of characters look out over a ledge into ... the blue sky again. Wow, that was incredibly generic. And so many characters!

0:03 "Prologue: Carnava, the Grand Kingdom." Armored knight Gaston comes on screen. "The preparations for the fireworks seem to be going well," his text dialogue reads. A random knight reports that the fireworks display is on schedule for the start of the Star Flower festival. There's a "Witch Conflict" going on, but Gaston says it's still important to have festivals in these trying times.

0:05 Quote of the moment: "Let those manly tears flow!" I swear it made sense in context.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Spectral Force 3

Developer: Idea Factory
Publisher: Atlus
System: Xbox 360
Release Date: July 29, 2008
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Take that, bad guy

0:00 Before I received this game in the mail, I did not know that Spectral Force 3 existed, much less Spectral Force 1 and 2!

0:01 A desolate, anime mountainscape with smoke coming from the volcanic core. A boy in rags lies on the ground. "Where... where am I? What happened to me?" Fair questions, both. Floating humanoid beasts appear behind him. He runs off as they glow blue and float after him. He screams as the camera pans away. Cut to shots of green fields with blue rivers. Quick cuts of anime battle scenes. A girl prays at a statue. A guy drinks straight from a large bottle. The intro ends with a band of warriors standing heroically on a hillside, one of them waving. Cue title!

0:05 "Neverland... A world where gods reside in heaven, the dead in the underworld, and demons, humans and other races struggle for dominance over each other on the Earth." What a clunky description. The evil overlord Janus was defeated by human heroes, but his daughter started a war with a new "Overlord army." Bands of mercenaries formed in response, "not restrained by the bounds of race or nationality."

0:06 Back to the present, a guy on horseback sends in two more units after his first band got annihilated. Suddenly, a black-clad fellow walks in, using two flailing tentacles on his shoulders to knock the unit about like tenpins. The King is impaled rather dramatically by the same tentacles. "Pathetic humans are so fragile," says the mysterious figure. Ain't it the truth.

0:07 The anime cut scenes have stopped, replaced with spoken and subtitled text over still, drawn pictures of the characters. "Hey old man, when are we gonna get some action?" asks Dragan. "Easy there kid, we're the backup unit," replies Judo. Are these the good guys? A messenger brings word that King Zaflak has been killed. Sounds like he needs supplemental insurance? ZAFLAK!

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Zoids Assault

Developer: Takara Tomy
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: Sept. 9, 2008
System: Xbox 360
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: An assault on interesting game design

0:00 I know practically nothing about this apparent Gundam rip-off, so my expectations are about as low as they can be.

0:01 Sweeping music as the camera pans over a desolate landscape. With tents! And pueblos! And trees! Really, the camera spends way too long lovingly panning over nothing much at all. When we finally see the Zoids themselves, they seem like slower, more mechanical, less colorful versions of the "Voltron" robots. I suppose giant robots should be slow and mechanical, but Metal Gear Solid 4 has spoiled me, I guess.

0:02 "8/5/964 in Jamil" is the super-fictional setting. "The ceasefire agreement has been signed. All units stand down," says a voice on the radio, and a bunch of platoons respond with reports of their standing down. On-screen, grainy black-and-white satellite video of some tanks. "I'm glad this war's over. I can't wait to give my kids a big hug!" says a soldier with a heart of gold. One of his comrades tells him he should take a shower first. "Sir, you are the worst-smelling soldier I have ever served with." HA! Then, an abrupt shift to grim political talk. One guy's gonna renounce his politician brother when he gets home, or something. Suddenly, the people talking get fired on. Not that you can see this happening ... the satellite video feed has turned to static. They can't return fire until they get clearance, apparently. This would be much more exciting with better voice acting and video that wasn't just black-and-white snow.

0:05 The video static as we hear the team firing back, without authorization apparently. It sounds like a few Zoids got taken out before they were able to retreat. "What the hell just happened?" That's what I want to know!

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Persona 3: FES

Developer: Atlus
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: April 22, 2008
System: PS2
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: The best game I've ever watched, or the best anime I've ever "played."

0:00 All I really know about this game is that the guys from Penny Arcade liked it and that Atlus gave me a free copy of the recent "FES" update, whatever that means.

0:01 Japanese singing over a confusing, jump cut-strewn anime. Then an equally confusing English rap over more jump cuts -- there's one every second or so! Flashes of people walking around school, RPG-style battles, a girl in a French maid's outfit, a white tiger, a gun to the face, a shop, and much more that I don't have time to write down.

0:03 In contrast to the frenetic intro, the title screen is dressed in mild greens with a gentle piano soundtrack and a full moon outside a window.

0:04 My menu choices are "The Journey" and "The Answer." Um, I was actually looking for "New Game"" or something. I guess that's kind of like a journey.

0:05 There's "New Game," along with my old friends "Load Game," "Config" and "Return to Title." Whew!

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Cubivore: Survival of the Fittest

Developer: Saru Brunei
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: Nov. 10, 2002
System: GameCube
ESRB Rating: E

In a nutshell: The building blocks of evolution.

0:00 The box quotes IGN as saying this is "one of the most bizarre games ever created." If that ends up being true, I don't see any reason I won't love it.

0:01 A huge roar issues forth from a monster with a GameCube for a face and box flaps for legs. He scampers to the middle of the screen and deposits what looks to be a steaming dookie in the middle of the floor. Simpler, two-flap creatures flop around the, uh, excrements on a bare white stage. Cue piano!

0:03 Primal Mighty Mite Piggy ACE is created (I always name my characters ACE, FYI). "I feel so nice, so warm. I remember in great detail a past I neither saw nor heard. Once upon a time, the world was full of Wilderness and dazzling, colorful beasts thundered across its untamed plains." Then colorless beasts devoured the Wilderness, using raw meat to give them power. One called Killer Cubivore became king of the world, "If nothing is done, the Wilderness will disappear and the world will wither and fade. I want to survive. That's the first thought I ever had. I want to survive." Heady stuff.

0:04 "Ahh... I am born. I am alive. I am Piggy ACE. I came into this world a beast. I shall eat and eat and become king of all Cubivores." Ambitious!

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer

Trauma Center: Under the Knife 2

Developer: Atlus
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: July 1, 2008
System: Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: All the fun of surgery... now with less blood!

0:00 The Wii version of the original game was one of my favorite early games for the system. Here's hoping the controls work as well using the DS stylus.

0:01 Black-and-white scenes of medical offices fly by. Derek Stiles, Angie Thompson, Adel Tulba and Heather Ross are introduced just as quickly. A bird flies over a city. Scenes of incisions, patches and pentagrams. Seems pretty similar to the intro for the original, if I remember correctly.

0:02 I choose the Normal difficulty and am relieved to be told I can change it later. I wish more games had this feature. Then, a warning about this game being a work of fiction. Were there really people who thought this was nonfiction?

0:03 "The Republic of Costigar, Africa... The internal warfare plaguing the people of this country for over a decade has finally come to an end." What a cheery introduction! There are still guerrillas and landmines and such, but the country is finally headed in the right direction. "A doctor named Derek Stiles has come to Zakara, one of Costigar's many refugee camps, to provide medical care to those in need." Hey, that's the guy from the first game!

0:04 Chapter 1: "Doctor in a Foreign Land." Derek is "a surgical prodigy who travels around the world helping patients." Angie is "an elite nurse with an International Nursing License" and "Derek's trusted partner." Insert sexually suggestive interpretation of "trusted partner" here.

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Baroque

Developer: Sting Entertainment
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: April 8, 2008
Systems: Wii (reviewed), Saturn, PlayStation, PS2
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Nothing to do with the art style.

0:00 One of my friends recommended this game, and Atlus offered to send me a copy, so I figured, "Why not?"

0:01 The game's title appears over an expanding black mass. An anime intro begins, featuring lots of disturbing, disconnected images: a flopping fish out of water, a murder of crows, some bloody sword battles, the word "Absiste," a lonely king on a chess board. "Heal Your Sins, Heal the World," is the concluding message. OK, I'm suitably creeped out.

0:02 The speaker on the remote rings in a loud, high bell tone as I hit A to start a game at Normal difficulty.

0:03 "His EEG readings are moving violently," says one unseen doctor. "Increase the barbiturate sedative," says another. Much more medical babble commences as we pan over scenes of a green hyperbaric chamber.

0:04 A bit of loading and I'm put in control on a thin, blue-haired boy with some rather basic clothes. He's running around a dark, outdoor corridor with a brown dirt floor, gray brick walls and creepy music.

0:05 I pass a creepy-looking kid. "Picking up items is my hobby... though I can only hold five items," he says. This makes me grin. Then I accidentally hit the kid with a tap of the B button. "Don't hit me... just anything but that right now." Well, that's almost idiomatic English...

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer