Monday, June 14, 2010
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Half Minute Hero
Developer: Marvelous Entertainment
Publisher: XSEED Entertainment
Release Date: Oct. 13, 2009
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site
In a nutshell: An RPG without all the things that make RPGs bad.
0:00 I somehow missed this game at E3 (I must have been sleeping), but the concept tickled me. I hate a lot of things about RPGs, but the one thing I hate most is the glacial pacing. If a whole quest is really condensed into 30 seconds, I might actually like this one!
0:01 Rain on a field. "Will this war ever end?" reads ornate white text on a black background. "The clock is ticking on the 500-year struggle between the humans and the Evil Lords. A spell to end the world in 30 seconds." Detailed anime drawings are cut together quickly with super-zoomed, pixilated versions of the same characters, all flying by too quick to really make anything out. Fade to black, then back up with epic organ music and '80s-metal guitar music. The title appears over a rolling pixilated landscape. Reminds me of the airship from Final Fantasy III a bit.
0:03 Story mode is "The story of a 500-year-long battle between the forces of good and evil. Is there no end to this war?" Reads to me like a subtle jab at the length of other RPGs. But maybe I'm just hearing what I want to hear...
0:04 I can choose Hero 30, Evil Lord 30 or Princess 30. I'll start with Hero, which takes place in "Goddess Era 100." Normal or Hard difficulty ... let's go with Normal until I figure out what the hell is going on.
0:05 I can rename my hero, whose default name is ... Hero. Seems appropriate...
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Rune Factory: Frontier
Developer: Neverland Co.
Publisher: Marvelous Entertainment
Release Date: March 17, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site
In a nutshell: Charming farming.
0:00 The back-of-the-box description of this game seems a little too close to my experience with the terminally boring Harvest Moon: Island of Happiness for my comfort, but they sent it to me so I'll give it a fair shake.
0:01 Anime intro: A bird flies through some abstract colored grass environments as peppy Japanese jazz plays. A guy with a hoe stands in a field full of yellow flowers. A girl releases a yellow butterfly to the sky. Another girl studies an orb, which becomes wind-blown streamers. A rainbow, a girl in a red robe and a big hat in front of said rainbow, a giant demon against the void of space. The bird flies across water to an island, the boy runs through the fields, sprouting yellow flowers near him as he does. He jumps to the embrace of all the smiling faces of the other characters. If the game is anywhere near this exciting I'll eat my hat.
0:04 The "Memories" screen reveals 31 more movies to unlock. Crazy, jumpy anime fans rejoice!
0:05 "I had lost everything; my memory, a place to live. When I was on the verge of collapse, I met her. She provided me with food, a home, and ... new memories." Not necessarily in that order. I suppose. Anyway, she left so now I'm going off to search for her.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Valhalla Knights 2
Developer: Marvelous Entertainment
Publisher: XSEED Games
Release Date: Oct. 1, 2008
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: E-10+
Official Web site
In a nutshell: I'm all for the destruction of the gods who made this game.
0:00 I proudly admit to never having heard of the original Valhalla Knights, much less its sequel, but XSEED Games was kind enough to furnish a copy, so away we go!
0:01 But first I have to update my PSP's firmware. Oh Sony ... you are so ridiculously predictable.
0:03 The reason for the new firmware? "New effects have been added to the visual player under 'Music.'" This is why I'm wasting my time? Really?
0:06 Complete. That was relatively painless, actually, probably because it didn't involve any Internet downloading.
0:07 The title appears over a starry field. "The Day of Judgment." Quick images of ethereal clocks and angel wings. "We saw a goddess descend ... she birthed a foul being upon the world and cursed mankind with despair. The gods have forsaken us." Heady orchestral music. Some crystals explode. Two knights look at each other. Extreme close up on their faces. "All for the sake of destroying the gods." Man ... melodrama much?
Read the full review at Crispy Gamer
Monday, September 17, 2007
Harvest Moon: Boy & Girl

Developer: Marvelous Interactive
Publisher: Natsume, Inc.
Release Date: July 31, 2007
Systems: PSP
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web Site
In a nutshell: A farm RPG. FaRmPG?
0:01 The menu screen gives the simple choice of "Boy" and "Girl." No "Options," no "Start," no nothing. Boy it is since, er, I'm a boy.
0:02 "Welcome to Mineral Town. I'm Mayor Thomas." Cute, rounded graphics. Reminds me of Super Mario RPG. Old school!
0:04 I named the farm "Farmville" and the dog "Barksy." Also, apparently, I was born on "Summer 17th."
0:05 My grandpa's farm has been neglected, the mayor tells me. Apparently I spent a vacation here when young because my absentee father was busy with work. Sepia-toned flashback GO!
0:06 A cute little vignette shows a young me riding cows, falling off cows, riding horses, being attacked by chickens and playing with my dog. Good times... good times.
0:07 A girl comes along in my flashback and is unnaturally interested in me and my tales of the city. We go to a cliff and sing a tuneless song together. This is fascinating and all, but gameplay, please?
0:08 "Oh, you're going. That makes me feel lonely," says the girl. Way to bluntly describe your feelings, there, girl.
0:09 I have three years to get this farm back up and running to earn the respect of the town. If I can't, I'll be kicked out. Harsh!
0:10 Finally I'm in control. I promptly go to sleep so I can save and not have to sit through the intro yet again.
0:12 Odd... the game tells me there are four different TV channels, but all of them seem to give the weather. "Clear blue skies from the morning." Also, that's a very big TV for a simple farmer.
0:13 I find a chest full of tools. I love the way my cute little guy takes such a mighty swing of his scythe. Fearsome!
0:14 The post officer tells me of suspicious man in village. Then a weird guy in yellow comes to loiter on the farm. Er, OK.
0:15 Barksy gives a playful bark when I attack him with a scythe. Oh, Barksy.
0:17 I have no idea what my direct goal is, so I just run around picking up stones and cutting grass. It's more fun in Zelda.
0:18 The description of a big rock: "Can't break with a hammer that has not been leveled up." Hooray for double negatives!
0:26 Ah hah! I stumble across the library, which has many books explaining the world of the game. Time for a reading break.
0:31 What I learned in the past five minutes: I can harvest bamboo in Spring; there are yellow moon drop flowers in the mountains in the Spring and "Magic Reds" in the Fall, I can raise fish in the fish pond (duh!); the hot springs in the mountains can be used to boil eggs; there's metal ore in the caves. What I didn't learn: How to PLANT STUFF!
0:33 "Nobody can do well right from the start. Running a farm is very difficult," says the mayor. Tell me about it. No, seriously, I have no idea how to run a farm, please tell me about it.
0:34 The supermarket is closed on Tuesday. THE SUPERMARKET. So much for buying seeds.
0:35 I walk into the hospital and the nurse notices I have a cut. She gives me a bandage. It's as big as my head! I carry it around like a prize, then put it away because, apparently, "there's no way to use it now." Er, what about that cut?
0:38 There's a usable confessional booth in the church. I have nothing to confess, and the pastor says he envies me. This game just got ten more awesomeness points.
0:40 I stumble on a poignant conversation between two kids deciding what to do with their life. I'm really liking the slow, reflective tone so far.
0:41 The supermarket may be closed, but bar is open. Figures.
0:42 A full meal costs all the money I have. Yikes. I buy some cheap cookies and vow to make some money QUICK!
0:46 I come across a boy who fell down. Lucky I have a bandage. "Boys aren't supposed to cry like that," says the boy's passing sister. WHO ASKED YOU! *sniff*
0:48 It took a whole virtual day to explore the town. I spend the night clearing grass and chopping wood. At 10:30 I collapse from exhaustion. I end up losing a whole day recovering. Whoops!
0:54 Mountain-exploring time. I find some bamboo and a blue flower. If I sell them, maybe I'll survive despite still having no seeds or crops.
0:58 End of day #2. I should probably stop here for the time being, but I'm determined not to give up until I've planted at least one crop.
0:59 Oh great, it's raining on day #3. Wait, I'm a farmer, so that's actually good. If only I had some crops to water.
1:01 The market owner is berated by his wife for selling on credit. Hooray for public humiliation!
1:02 Finally, fruit and veggie seeds! I buy potatoes and turnips. They'll be delivered later? Whaaaa? Also, why can't I buy on credit?
1:04 By the time I finish te longish walk back home, the seeds are there. I plant them and... now what?
Would I play this game for more than an hour? Yes.
Why? The game has drawn me in to its charming little world, and it's a relaxing change of pace. Plus I have a perverse need to see my seeds grow.
This review based on a retail version rented from GameFly.
