XIII

Developer: Southend Interactive
Publisher: Ubisoft
Release Date: Nov. 18, 2003
System: PS2
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: In comic books, everyone can hear you scream in frustration.

0:00 I remember hearing good things about this stylish shooter when it first came out, so I couldn't resist picking it up for $2 during an extreme bargain bin binge. Will it hold up so many years after its initial release?

0:01 A bare bones loading screen crawls along, leading up to an utterly silent title screen with a guy in a flak jacket guarding a mocha-colored woman behind him. "Please press the START button to begin" blinks in an annoying gray box.

0:03 Selectable dfficulties are Arcade, Normal and Realistic. Wait, Arcade is supposed to be the easiest? Some of the most difficult games I've ever played were at an arcade. I go with Normal.

0:04 A cel-shaded, open-air covertible goes through a ticker tape parade, while in another frame, someone loads a sniper rifle. Zoom out to show these scenes as part of an animated comic book. Zoom back in, and a shot is fired. A police officer waves me away as chaos reigns. A bald old bald man smiles evilly. Elsewhere, someone makes a calligraphic "XIII" with a fountain pen. A guy in glasses and a red coat studies the sniper rifle. "Yes, I will continue the work that my brother William started," says a politician at a pulpit. "And yes, there will once again be a Sheridan in the white house!" Wow... the Kennedy allegory was so subtle, I almost missed it.

0:05 The guy in red, an FBI man, apparently, argues with a man in military fatigues, voiced by TV's Adam West."No one can stop me from conducting my own investigation, you hear me, Amos?" the military man yells. Cut to the bald man. "Number XIII will soon no longer be a problem." Cut to a war room: "Gentlemen, we're ready to launch operations." I... I think I understood most of that. Maybe.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT<--***
***-->JOYSTICK DIVISION<--***

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