Opoona

Developer: ArtePiazza
Publisher: Koei
Release Date: March 25, 2008
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E10+
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Funny name, pointless game.

0:00 The early coverage of this game has been on the edge of my periphery for a while now, but I don't really know what to expect.

0:01 "Far away in the distant future..." So like the opposite of "Star Wars"? On Tizia, the Cosmo Guard was chosen to destroy an evil force of demon servant rogues. Far from Tizia was a forgotten star that was hit by dark matter force and overrun by rogues. A streak of light came though the land, pushing off the rogues and allowing the people to fight back. The people from that planet, Landroll, spread throughout the universe. This is extreme paraphrasing from introductory text that moves way too quickly. I like the stylish images that accompany it, though.

0:03 A hand-drawn globe with light and dark sides sits behind the title screen, with chipper xylophone music throughout. Instead of "New Game," the option is "Begin Voyage!" But first, I have to plug in a Nunchuk.

0:04 "In a universe far away, in some unknown time, three children were born on Tizia." Opoona was one of them; the others have equally ridiculous names. On a phallic space station, sister Poleena asks if we're at Landroll yet. Brother Copoona stops her from running around and bugging mama. Poleena hits Copoona with the ball things hovering over her head. Dad comes in and stops their tomfoolery.

0:05 Poleena calls me a lazybon for sleeping so late. "Have you forgotten what today is? Well that doesn't surprise me at all, you dummy!" Ouch! We're on a family trip from Tizia to "a far off world." Dad's looking for me and he's in a bad mood. Uh oh.

Read the full review at Crispy Gamer