Fret Nice

Developer: Pieces Interactive

Publisher: Tecmo

Release Date: Feb. 17, 2010

System: Xbox 360

ESRB Rating: E

Official Web site

In a nutshell: For want of a jump button, the rhythm platformer was lost.

0:00 If there are two genres I love above all others, they are rhythm games and platform games. Since Fret Nice supposedly melds these two genres, my expectations are quite high.

0:01 Catchy, robo-techno music plays as a misshapen hand cranks up an amp. "The vibrant Chordmasters rock the world" say the newspaper headline. But a guy with a mustache and a black hat doesn't seem to like their music. He sends bulbous black monsters (that look stolen straight from Loco Roco) from the Heavy Metal Kingdom to cause havoc in town. Cool-looking teens cower in fear, but then two little kids -- who I assume are The Chordmasters -- come blasting in from the sky. They pose in a streetlight and push away the darkness. I already love the music, even though I can't make out a single roboticized lyric. It's like a mix of Freezepop and the best of Japanese pop.

0:03 You can play this game with an Xbox 360 controller? Really? That seems to kind of miss the point...

0:04 On the options screen, I'm told guitar tilt sensitivity is "not supported by your current guitar model." Who knew?

0:05 Normal is "The way the game is supposed to be experienced." Hard is locked anyway. I skip the intro once I realize its the same one that played when I loaded up the game.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT<--***

***-->JOYSTICK DIVISION<--***

___________________________________________________

Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon

Developers: Namco, Tri-Crescendo
Publisher: Xseed
Release Date: March 16, 2010
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: One part Japanese philosophy, one part looking for stuff with a flashlight, one part super-simple combat, five parts cut scenes.

0:00 About the only things I know about this game are: 1) the publishers were nice enough to send me a copy and 2) it has a completely awesome title. Either of those alone would be enough to get it an hour of play on Games for Lunch.

0:01 I seriously can't remember the last new Wii game I played that didn't require the Nunchuk. This one is no exception.

0:02 A white-haired anime girl lies on the watery ground. Pan up to a purple haired anime boy with lots of belts on his shirt. Elegant piano music plays over the title screen.

0:03 Part of me wants to choose the Japanese voice actors, because they're almost always better. Part of me wants the English ones just to laugh at how bad I'm sure they'll be.

0:04 Falling through a watery void. A high pitched squeal in the background as the clouds in the sky come into view. "At the very end of a summer that was all too short, the old man I was living with passed away. And even after all the years we spent together I never knew his name. Later that evening, I dug a shallow grave in the front yard of our home and buried him there." The screen fades to black. "At that moment I was truly alone in the world." Creepy!

0:05 Cut to a blocky 3D observatory, with faint moonlight streaming in. "It's so dark I can hardly see," says my character. Me too... I'm tempted to turn up the brightness on the TV. "If I crank open the dome, then I can let in some moonlight."

***-->CONTINUE READING AT<--***
***-->JOYSTICK DIVISION<--***

___________________________________________________

Just Cause 2

Developers: Avalanche Studios, Eidos
Publisher: Square Enix
Release Date: March 23, 2010
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: I suppose it makes sense that chaos is hard to control...

0:00 As I was opening this game, my wife noticed the back of the box promised "'relentless adrenaline-fueled action' -- sounds right up your alley." Not really...

0:01 A bit of loading, a bit of logos, and the title screen. A text crawl along the bottom of the screen welcomes me and urges me to visit the web site for stats, official forums and leaderboards. Oh, and I can become a fan of the game on Facebook. What is this, CNN?

0:02 Selectable difficulties are Casual, Normal, Experienced and Hardcore. I'll choose Normal becuase "I'm no stranger to action games and will gladly take on the Panauan soldiers, as long as we play by the same rules." Uh... yeah.

0:03 The loading screen urges me to "cause chaos in any way possible." They mean in the game, right?

0:04 I'm in the "Republic of Panau, South East Asia" according to the title card. A helicopter flies in over the ocean with soldiers inside. "Here we are, Panau island. Southeast Asia's best kept secret," says the blonde woman. It's not US-friendly anymore, since the Panauan president was assassinated by his son. "He doesn't sound much like a people person," says a Spanish-accented man who I assume is my wise-cracking character. I'm being sent in to take down Sheldon, a guy who taught me "everything I know." Holy god is this cheesy.

0:05 We get hit by anti-aircraft fire and some data cards fall out in to the jungle. The blonde girl also falls, but I grab her by the arm and we continue chatting amiably about how important those data cards are. When a random soldier gets shot and falls out, I go and follow him with a "witty" remark: "Aw hell, I was running out of ammo anyways. Don't wait up."

***-->CONTINUE READING AT<--***
***-->JOYSTICK DIVISION<--***

___________________________________________________

Metapost: You can't get rid of me that easily!

Hey readers. Didja miss me?

So, as some of you may be aware, Crispy Gamer decided to lay off their entire editorial staff back in January. This, unfortunately left Games for Lunch without a permanent home on the web and me without a job. The past few months have been spent trying to rectify both of those states of affairs, leaving me with precious little time to waste writing up GFLs for free here on blogspot (not that writing GFL is a waste of time... but when that time could be spent more productively writing for pay or hunting for work, it was a hard case to make to myself).

Anyway, I'm happy to say that I've found a new sucker outlet willing to pay me for my stream-of-consciousness ramblings: the good folks at Village Voice Media's Joystick Division. Games for Lunch will now run there every weekday, with excerpts and links posted here, as normal.

Thanks for bearing with me during this latest hiatus and for your continued support.

Silent Hill: Shattered Memories

Developer: Climax Group
Publisher: Konami
Systems: Wii (reviewed), PS2, PSP
Release Date: Dec. 8, 2009
ESRB Rating: M
Official Web site

In a nutshell: A cautionary tale featuring ice... and cell phone cameras!"

0:00 Even though others have called it the greatest game since sliced, uh, games, I wasn't a huge fan of Silent Hill 2, the only Silent Hill game I've actually played. So my expectations aren't super high for this one. But hey, that means they have nowhere to go but UP!

0:01 I like the static TV signal on the preview screen. If only that bright blue title didn't ruin the effect. 0:02 "Nunchuk is required," says the screen. Nunchuk is acquired, says I. The title comes up and is quickly replaced by a white on red "Psychology Warning: This video game psychologically profiles you as you play." I don't have time to read the rest, but I am somewhat bemused by this over-the-top omen. 0:03 The title screen appears again, crackling free from an icy prison. I hit A and B on the Remote and see a grainy VHS tape of a child running along a white picket fence. His dad scoops him up and the tape pauses, complete with a big white "pause" in the upper left corner. The "Profile Select" screen rudely pops over the video. As the scene continues a bit, I realize the child is actually a little girl, who waves at the camera as I bring up the options screen. Let's "Play Game."

0:05 The tape continues as if it never stopped. The little girl loaded into car, then we cut to a park of some sort. "I love my daddy!" says the little girl as as she puts her head though one of those cardboard face-replacer things that makes her look like a damsel in distress and him like a dragon. The tape rewinds to the beginning and the scene plays out again. And a third time, as the credits roll over top. I love the shaky camera work and the elegant piano music. The tape turns off. Heartbreaking.

0:06 In a dark office now, a well-dressed man sits staring at a laptop. As the man gets up, we cut to snowy roadway at night. Inside again, the man is at the bar, putting ice in a drink. More great camerawork, with some odd, low angles. The character models look a bit otherworldly, but move in a pretty lifelike fashion. I'm digging the largely silent storytelling so far.

***-->CONTINUE READING AT GAMESHARK<--***

____________________________________________________