Monday, November 9, 2009

DJ Hero

Developer: FreeStyleGames
Publisher: Activision
Release Date: Oct. 27, 2009
Systems: Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3, Wii, PS2
ESRB Rating: T
Official Web site

In a nutshell: Holy crap I am not a natural DJ.

0:00 I really wanted to play this game at E3 but the Activision booth techs refused to let me for some reason. The company didn't send me a copy of the $120 game for review, either, so I guess I'd better try it out while I'm up here at the Crispy Gamer offices before I decide whether to plunk down my cash.

0:01 Even before I start the game, I don't know how to hold the controller. Do the buttons go on the left or the right? Does it matter?

0:02 An animated scene of a dystopian city, with a crumbling edifice. A young DJ with big headphones looks through green-tinted binoculars (night vision, perhaps?). His Russian-style hat flaps in the wind as he jumps on a robot/monster that looks like a giant record needle. He steers it with some huge handle as a trucker in a big red big rig drives right at him. They crash, and the trucker jumps out at the last minute, joining the Russian-hatted DJ atop the robot/monster. A green eyed guy in a hoodie plugs a cable into skyscraper-sized speakers, which let out a huge shockwave that knocks over the robot/monster and wrecks large sections of winding highway. Russian hat guy grabs some vinyl as he falls through the air, handing it off to another DJ before he lands. Thousands of people litter the highway, cheering for some reason. The title appears. I ... I have no idea what just happened.

0:04 "Attention: Here's what's happening," says a message window. Apparently what's happening is, the game is loading. That required an "Attention"?

0:05 A remix of "Another One Bites the Dust" and some song I don't recognize plays over the menu. Let's "Learn to DJ." "Hey, it's your boy DJ Grandmaster Flash, the first guy to make the turntable an instrument." Wow, he's a bit of a braggart just because he happened to invent scratching. "I'm gonna teach you everything you need to learn about being a DJ, so listen up very carefully and let's get started." He suggests putting the turntable controller somewhere "like a lap, or a table ... anything that works for you!" I think putting a turntable on your lap might be the least hip-hop thing I've ever heard.



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