Dragon Ball: Revenge of King Piccolo
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Developer: Media Vision
Publisher: Namco Bandai
Release Date: Oct. 20, 2009
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E10+
In a nutshell: "Boy, this is [not] getting exciting."
0:00 I was a fan of Dragon Ball Z in high school, but never really got into the original Dragon Ball series this game is based on. I wasn't a big fan of the last Dragon Ball universe fighting game I played, so my hopes aren't very high for this one.
0:01 As I load up the preview screen, a young Goku cries out: "Boy, this is getting exciting." Um, I haven't even started yet. What's got you so excited?
0:02 Goku, a small boy with spiky black hair and a red karate outfit, runs through a field and jumps onto a yellow cloud. Bald-headed Krillin and other characters wave as he flies by as a Japanese theme song plays. The title appears before a bunch of characters I vaguely remember from Dragon Ball Z appear reflected in Dragon Balls. Blue-haired Bulma rides a moped with Goku in back. Goku and Krillin fight under the watchful eye of elder Master Roshi. A blonde-ahired announcer starts a fighting tournament. Goku flies through a city as bullet are fired at him from unseen guns. In a plane, an old looking green guy rains destruction from above. The dragon comes out of the dragon balls, ready to grant a wish. All the main characters freeze in a big triumphant pose. The title appears again. Feels like an anime opening to me!
0:04 When I advances past the title screen, Goku again tells me, "Boy, this is getting exciting." OK, Goku, time for your Ritalin.
0:05 As I move about the main menu, Goku narrates every available item. "This is where you can adjust all the game's options!" On the options screen, Krillin narrates with a shit-eating grin. "This lets you adjust the size of the screen." Just think, they had to pay voice actors for those lines. That is money that did not go to hiring programmers. I'm just saying.
Monday, April 19, 2010
3D Dot Game Heroes
Developer: Silicon Studio
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: May 11, 2010
System: PS3
ESRB Rating: E10+
In a nutshell: More Zelda than Zelda.
0:00 I like the blocky, 3D aesthetic I've seen in screenshots, and the comparisons I've been hearing to the old 2D Zelda games are encouraging.
0:01 Retro chiptune music plays as we get some diagonal overhead shots of the game's various areas: A desert, a plateau, a field filled with bushes. The "demo play" shows our hero using a hookshot to cross a river, putting up a shield to block arrows from Goblin-ish enemies, arrows being fired at leaping spiders, and a dungeon whith a skeleton battle. Besides all the characters and environs being made of small colored cubes, these shots could all have come straight from A Link to the Past.
0:06 I hop into the editor to "edit my character." Only after playing around for five minutes or so, trying to make a passable round smiley face, do I remember that I have no artistic ability.
0:07 That's OK, there's a whole lot of pre-made characters to choose from. "Striker" has a soccer ball to dibble in front of him. "FunkSanta" has the familiar red and white pallette and "a funky walk." "Galleon," is an honest-to-goodness pirate-type ship. "Poochi" is a dog. "GT Car" is... well you get the idea. The oddest, though, is "President," described as "the X7th president of the United States" who just happens to be a red and black dragon.
0:08 After all that, I go with "Pumpkin," a black spectre with a pumpkin for a head. I name him "...~%O[triangle][square]X, because I can.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Sonic 2 (iPhone)
Developer: Sonic Team
Publisher: Sega
Release Date: Late April 2010
System: iPhone/iPod Touch
ESRB Rating: E
In a nutshell: Not quite uncontrollable, but not quite controllable either...
0:00 The original Sonic 2 was the primary reason I bought a used Genesis to go with my beloved SNES as a child. That said, I'm not at all confident the game will be as enjoyable when controlled via touchscreen. Some games just need buttons, I think.
0:01 A good ten seconds of loading precede Sonic running in front of the traditional "SEGA" screen, complete with singers chanting the name. The title is the same as ever: "Sonic and Miles 'Tails' Prower in... Sonic the Hedgehog 2" Oh man, this takes me back. I remember being SO impressed with those big character sprites back in the day.
0:02 I tap the screen to bring up a ridiculously bare bones menu, and tap it again to bring up the familiar Emerald Hill Zone, Act 1. The scene is stretched nicely to fill the whole iPod. There's a little translucent d-pad in the lower lefthand corner and a little A button in the lower right. Hey, what if I want to use the B or C buttons? I know they all do the same thing, but still.
0:04 So far it's surprisingly easy to place my thumb in the center of the d-pad picture and kind of rock it back and forth to move. I get hit by a few coconut-throwing monkeys, but I feel like that's my fault, not the game's.
0:05 I've already collected my first 100 rings and my first an extra life, so I guess the controls can't be that bad. So far the game runs with nary a hiccup on my 2nd gen iPod. "Sonic Got Through Act 1" and earned a continue in the process.
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Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Love & Death: Bitten
Developer: PlayFirst
Publisher: PlayFirst
Release Date: April 13, 2010
System: PC
ESRB Rating: N/A
In a nutshell: I'm hunting for a reason to keep playing this game.
0:00 This game's publisher actually recommended it to me via tweet just yesterday. The web site's suggestion that I "experience the epic romance" made it somewhat of a no brainer for a trial play.
0:01 The title screen features a hungry looking vampire with a reclining redhead laying on his lap, her neck deliciously exposed
0:02 An old crone stands over a bubbling green cauldron. "Beyond a cursed forest lies a crumbling castle. Inside a witch keeps her vampire, Damon, under her spell." Apparently her spell involves lying with him in some tangled sheets. "Damon, my love, go to the village and fetch us something to eat..." "As you wish, Celeste... forever as you wish" He doesn't seem too happy about being a witch's slave. The crone tells us his salvation lies just out of his reach. "But the fates tell me of a mortal girl who may yet... who may... oh my." Aww... she's a bashful old crone.
0:04 "Chapter 1: The Search. Damon arrives in town in search of a meal." In a spare wooden shack, with meat hanging from the walls. My first goal is to close the shutters and shut out the torch-wielding people outside. "Don't let it escape back into the forest!" they cry. Two clicks and the shutters are closed. "The fates are impressed" rather easily, apparently.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Monster Hunter Freedom Unite
Developer: Capcom
Publisher: Capcom
Release Date: June 23, 2009
System: PSP
ESRB Rating: T
In a nutshell: Training to be a Monster Hunter is long, boring work.
0:00 This is like the PSP's answer to Pokemon, right? And the Japanese love it just as much as Pokemon? I'm not really a big fan of the Pokemon games, but this one has been sitting on my shelf for way too long, and it deserves its fair shake.
0:01 After a bit of loading, a tarp goes up at a makeshift campsite. Long pan over a suit of armor. A knight pounds a tent post into the ground as an ambulatory, human-sized cat carries some cloth in the background. A large beast grazes lazily in a field. The knight wipes his brow, dons a suit of armor, and takes a pickaxe to a rock wall. He trades the mined gems for some metal, then takes them to a blacksmith to be pounded in to armor. BORING! Where's the ACTION?!
0:03 The knight reads a map and buys some dragon meat to carve into a ridiculously oversized sword of some sort. Now a trio of soldiers is running out of the forest, tailed by a big dragon. The dragon trips as the soldiers fire makeshift bazookas, taking him down. An old woman sews the dragon hide and makes a nice vest and headscarf to go under the armor. A trumpet fanfare plays as we zoom in on the dark heart of the forest, where a black beast with glowing red eyes lunges. Title! The opening did a good job establishing the world...
0:05 Backround loading is set to "off" by deafult in the options. Who thought THAT was a good idea?
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